If I were a.....

yes, his handwriting needs a lot of work :)

Kade gave us a card for Christmas he was working on at school.  They laminated it and everything but it was just so cute what he wrote inside.  They were supposed to answer "if I were a Santa Claus I would..."  Ehren and I had a good laugh about the very first thing he wrote. "I would help mom with daycare because she has a hard time with it." :) Sweet little Kade has no idea how true that is sometimes and I am sure he witnessed more than a few stressful occasions the past couple years.  I am not going to lie, it is very hard work to have multiple kids at home that come from all different families.  I probably mentioned this earlier but this Fall I realized how much easier this year is compared to last year when the 2 youngest were just babies and had to be bottle-fed a few times a day.  I think I was just surviving for a few months there. :) This year they're walking around and just like hanging out with the other kids and play by them.  My favorite age though must be around 2-5 years old.  Kids are so sweet at that age, they love to read books after books, they listen so well, are eager to please and want to do whatever you suggest for them to do.  They will fight once in a while, but it is so short-lived and they don't remember crying 2 minutes later.  I don't know if it's just me but I do think many times I'm doing a terrible job with it and I should be doing so much more with the kids but at the end of the day, there is only so much I am able to do.  I am thankful though that in return, I don't have to send my kids to some daycare and I can be with them at home, even if it means we can't go anywhere during the day.

Kade's other line said: "If I were a Santa Claus I would buy my family some food because we run out of food a lot." :)  So true, we need to buy groceries A LOT. :)  No wonder when we have 7 kids at our house at some point every day.  At least I have not heard a line from our kids yet that every kid says at some point : "we have nothing to eat" so I think that is pretty good.  We really are blessed at how much we have in comparison to people all over the world.  We don't know what it's like to skip a meal because there is nothing left to eat yet we don't ever think of it as a blessing, more like it's our right to have all that and so much more that we could so easily live without.  It's really sad how consumer oriented our world is becoming and how few simple things remain as part of our family life.  I can't say I'm living a minimalist lifestyle, it is far from it actually, but it just amazes me how so many families are driven by having more stuff in their lives and how whatever the children suggest or want at an early age, they get without even having to wait for it.  I'm a bit afraid of what our children will have to deal with in their adulthood, it's hard enough right now but is going downhill too fast. :)  I just hope we can stick to our believes as our kids get older and have them see it's ok to be different.  It's ok to go against the flow, to be the only fish sometimes swimming against all the other fish that we see.  Because the only One that matters sees us and is so proud watching us do just that.

Merry Christmas!

Our stomachs are way too full and we're all very sleepy - a sign of a good Christmas.  :) It really was a nice Christmas with the family.  Our kids were so excited for Christmas Eve and just loved all their presents.  Ehren's dad ended up spending the evening with us and it was nice having him with us.  Audrey wasn't feeling quite well yet and needed some rest so she didn't come that evening.  Kade had no idea what he was getting but the 2 gifts he got he just loves.  One is the "snap circuits" which has about 500 projects to do, from simple to very complicated.  It is always a great toy to have for the long winter nights and I'm so glad he enjoys it.  The other thing he got was this hexbug set with bugs for all the kids and all the kids love watching these little bugs run around, race and bump each other.  Anika got a dollhouse and she couldn't believe she got something like that.  It's beautiful, wooden and she loves it.  Her, Emily and Kason love playing house or pretend games with all their animals and dolls so I know they will love playing with the dollhouse and the dollhouse 7 family members.  Kason's favorite gift must have been the one from nana, it is a little track from the cars movie that has 2 cars race down to the finish line.  He loves anything to do with the spycars, the cars movie and race cars.  He likes trains too but is starting to lose interest in Thomas a bit as he's getting close to 4 years old.  It was just a nice, relaxing Christmas Eve.  The next day I got to skype with my family for a bit and then we headed over to Ehren's parents for the Hanson Christmas brunch.  It was very nice and we had such a nice time visiting with everyone.  The kids are getting so much easier to handle now when we get together and they all play together so nice that us adults can actually enjoy some conversations and even play "catch phrase" or "gestures". :)  All the kids were definitely overly tired from a few late nights in a row and not napping but they were all really good and everyone had a great time.  Jess made the day for all the kids when she gave them rides on her 2 horses.  Ingrid and I came along too and it was just great to get some fresh air on such a nice and WARM day for Minnesota so just a perfect weather to do that.  We visited some more with Ehren's parents and sister and her family today but we definitely started feeling a bit sluggish from eating too much food and sweets all weekend. :)  I couldn't even look at the food tonight.  But it was just a very merry Christmas for me, as Christmas should be.  The only thing better would be if I could be with my family in Slovakia.  But I am thankful for our wonderful families and it makes me sad for those who are in the middle of broken homes where family get-togethers are stress-filled and painful.  We have so much to be thankful for and so much we've been blessed with and I just hope I can be a little blessing to someone else.  I hope you have had a warm and lovely Christmas with your family and I wish you all a blessed and joyful year 2012.

cousins with great-aunt Judith

Anika's art project

skyping with their cousins in NY

having a good time together

Christmas Eve service at church

frying some tilapia fish

Christmas program

We are finally done!  Last night was our church's annual big Christmas concert where the adult choir sings and at the beginning usually all the kids from the age 2 until 8th grade do some kind of songs/program of their own.  This year Ehren and I are teaching a Sunday School class for 4-5 year olds and we had to come up with our little "show".  There is another couple that helps us teaching the kids so we don't have to do it every Sunday and they helped us with it too but it was a bit stressful for me.  I know it's just little kids and people really don't care, but I always get nervous and stressed out if we have to be up on the stage in front of a packed church, especially when a few of our kids are very unpredictable in what they will do.

I was hoping to come up with new songs for the kids to sing, but nobody was able to help me find simple Christmas songs for little kids.  All the songs I know are too hard for them to learn or they are too secular to sing in church.  I miss our Slovak little kids songs because we have so many cute and simple Christmas songs to choose from.  So anyway, we did our usual 3 songs which the kids sing every year.  I'm a bit embarrassed that we couldn't come up with something different but hopefully by next year we will.

To change things up a bit though, I came up with a little skit or lines to say.  The kids were holding the letters to spell "Christmas" and they had a line to say what each letter stands for.  I couldn't be more proud of them because they all said their lines so well, even better than some of the older kids in school.  Our practicing really paid off.

So there was a bit of a craziness but I think that's to be expected from the little kids.  When we started singing our 5 year old boy (who is a little autistic and unpredictable) started going all over the place and finally during one of the songs he came down to Ehren and was telling him "I'm nervous".  I finally just put him back in his spot and then he was better until the end.  Another hard and very embarrassing moment came when the 2 and 3 year old kids had to leave the stage so the older kids can say their lines.  Our Kason thinks he should be with the older group and watching us practice the lines didn't help because he knew most of them and he had it in his head that he is going to hold a letter and say a line.  So Ehren had to carry him off the stage, balling and having a fit.  I understand it's his age and that it's more because both Ehren and I were up there but still it was a bit embarrassing for all those people to see our child having a meltdown.  Well, it's done with now and we can move forward.  Luckily Kason will be with the older kids next year so he won't feel excluded.

Here's a video clip I uploaded and some pictures of our kids at home.  I will have a couple more clips of the songs but I need Ehren's help because I can't figure out how to cut the clips.  So check back in a day or two for that.

Christmas baking

I have to admit one of my most favorite things I enjoy about Christmas is doing all the Christmas baking.  As a little girl I couldn't wait to start baking with mom but we did it so different than I'm doing right now. :)  My mom makes almost all the goodies just 2 days before up to the day of Christmas Eve because she likes everything fresh and it really is the best.  But I learned that if I don't want to be a crazy and a very mean mom, I have to do things ahead of time and freeze them.  My problem sometimes is that I have way too many favorite recipes from my childhood for Christmas goodies and to choose just a few is hard.  This year I'm skipping the "honey bars" which is like a pretty layered torte cut into very thin pieces.  I love it but it doesn't turn out as yummy as my mom's so it's hard to keep trying it. :)  I always have to make my favorite and a classic - walnut rolls.  Every Christmas after I make a batch I wonder why I don't make them more often because it's so good with coffee.  But maybe then it wouldn't be so special if I made them all the time.  Our family's favorite must be the Oreo balls - a very American truffle made out of 3 ingredients :).  I have to say they are very good, but also pretty rich which is good because 1 or 2 is plenty at a time.  I like to have one recipe that is so easy to make and everyone loves them.  Another usual that I grew up with are the rum chocolate balls.  I love these even though my mom doesn't make these much and even though I'm pretty much the only one eating them at our house.  For me it is a nice little treat during the day to have with coffee or tea and it's not too rich or sweet.  Another American recipe I make every year are the peanut butter blossom cookies.  Everyone loves those too so they don't last very long at our house.  So I guess I'm making a mixture of Slovak and American recipes and if I could I would probably make a lot more different goodies but really, we don't need it and what I make is always more than plenty for us.

Now I have to get my final grocery list ready for the Christmas meal.  We're having Tilapia fish fillets with a traditional potato salad.  I usually skip the cabbage soup I grew up with because I'm not sure who besides Kason would eat it (he eats any vegetable and eats lettuce like bread).  For dessert (because we don't have enough goodies to eat :)) I'm going to try a Norwegian rice pudding with raspberry topping which is a Christmas tradition for some people here.  I really like it and the kids do too, Ehren not so much but that's ok. :)

That about sums up all about our Christmas food.  Here are some preview goodies pictures and I'll post more pictures of our Christmas later.  Have a blessed Christmas everyone!  

oreo balls

tried something new - linecke.  Very good with tea.

rum balls - almost gone :)

my epic failure this year - walnut bread broke on top.  I knew the dough wasn't quite right and it got too wet to hold it together.  On the bright side - it tastes awesome.  I improved the filling this year with the lemon zest and it's fabulous. :)

peanut butter blossoms

presents

I don't know if a lot of you know the book about 5 love languages.  Later on they came up with 5 love languages for kids which I never read but it is basically the same thing, just for parents to figure out how each of their kids feels loved the most.  Some kids are just happy with a touch, a moment of cuddling on the couch with mom while others are happiest when they spend quality time with their parents.  I realized pretty early on that our oldest Kade's number one thing is receiving gifts.  It can be so tricky though to make him feel like he's getting "gifts" without spending money on toys or stuff for him.  As he's getting older he understands the value of money better and that he can't have something new whenever he'd love to but you know it is his love language when you see his face just light up when he's getting something.  So Christmas time has always been a bit hard because he gets so focused on the gifts and even though a lot of kids do, to me it always seemed like he's more selfish than others and all he can think about is gifts.  So every year since he was able to talk about it I tried really hard to keep reminding and instilling the real reason of Christmas to him and showing him how many kids have nothing and yet they're happy and don't ask for anything.

I'm not sure if he was really hearing me in the past but this year I could not be more proud of my Kade.  He actually for the first time in his life can't even think of anything he'd like for Christmas.  He says he has a lot of stuff and doesn't really need anything else.  He would like some new books to read and the only other thing he  really asked for was a math practice test cd that helps him with his math at school.  I just couldn't be happier when he said that to me, he seems to be growing up so much and getting so much more responsible about everything.  He's at the top of his class for passing math levels yet he wanted the cd so he can get even better. :)  I am pretty sure I'll be spending hours and hours in agony over the math with Anika to make up for not having to do much with Kade but for now I'll just enjoy it.  I'll enjoy our kids growing up and enjoy the Christmas when Kade is not expecting anything at all.  And I'm just excited for him to open the gifts because I'm sure he'll love it.

Kason is too little to really care about the presents, he wants to get something if others are getting a gift but he doesn't care whatsoever what gift it is, it can be a $.99 matchbox car.  And Anika has always been very undemanding and never asks for things even if she'd love to have something.  I love taking her shopping because she never once asks to have something, she is just excited to be looking at all those pretty things. :)  So I guess we're lucky that it is just one child that is a bit more focused on gifts than others and even he is growing out of it.  I feel blessed by our kids and this Christmas I just want to be with them, snuggle together, play games and watch them enjoy every part of it.

Oh, and this is for my mom:  Kade asked if we can have paprikas for our Christmas meal this year. :)  I had to smile because it is probably the most modest meal I know, it comes from Hungary.

pinterest

So I found a new obsession.  Now that facebook is pretty boring and all I use it for is to connect with a few friends, here comes something that can consume all my extra time.  There are times when I have to tell myself "no, you cannot go on pinterest." and that's because it is so addicting and there are so many areas that are just fabulous to look at.  From recipes, to fashion, to home decor and design, there is anything people find interesting and fun on the internet and they "pin" it on pinterest.  I mainly like it for ideas for the house, recipes or crafts stuff and you can find so many things that it's too easy to get sucked into it.  There is one thing I don't like about it so far and that's that all the favorite pins show up over and over so when you're scrolling through things you see the favorite ones repeat a lot because those are ones that a lot of people put on their boards.  But despite that little annoyance, I love looking at ideas for just about anything and seeing what my friends on pinterest like too.  I'd much rather do that then watch something on tv or when I'm too tired to do anything else. :)  I don't know how long it will last and if the things people post will keep staying new and interesting but for now it's great.  Of course, moderation is key just like with anything.  If I can use my time wisely and not just waste it on this site or other things, it can be used well.      

St Nicholas Day tradition

I don't particularly feel like writing but here I am.  I'm trying to get over this small cold I have and the kids are all very tired and crabby today.  Somebody woke up before 6am this morning to go check their boots because of course, it's St. Nicholas Day!  The kids have been so excited for this day and they couldn't wait to wash their boots the night before.  Any other time it would be easy to get mad at them and order them back to bed but you can't help but let them enjoy it because that's what kids do best - enjoy their little surprises thoroughly.  Every time Kade is excited about something he just can't sleep and is up way early and of course Kason and Anika wake right up too and I could hear their footsteps all around the house while I tried to catch a little more sleep this morning.  I'm glad we do this little tradition and are pretty much the odd ones doing that because nobody does anything here on St. Nicholas.  When I talk to other moms about it they do know of the holiday but it is very foreign to them, as it is to Ehren.  He enjoys the goodies he gets but doesn't really appreciate the holiday and I can understand because that's how I feel about Thanksgiving Thursday sometime.  Anyway, I am so glad our kids love this tradition and what kid wouldn't when they get fun treats.  It is pretty much our stockings day because families here do the same thing with stockings on Christmas day.  That day we don't do anything, but usually go to Ehren's parents house and his mom has stockings for all the grandkids so our kids still get their stockings too.  I am just happy that the stores get all their Christmas candy and goodies so early that I can easily find stocking stuffers by Dec. 5th.  I'm surprised Kade still loves this holiday because he knows none of his friends at school or church do it, but he doesn't care.  He likes to enlighten them into the whole St. Nicholas tradition and how fun it is.  It is just a tiny part of my country and home I brought with me and am determined to keep it in our family no matter what. :)  Since I failed at so many other things like the language, I at least want to carry on the family traditions and hopefully we can keep doing it for many many years to come.

Advent wreath is another thing I love having for our meals during Advent, it just doesn't seem like Christmas without it.  I found this Swedish wreath on Ebay a couple years ago and I love it.  It's simple and I don't have to try to make my own out of ever greens, even though I loved my mom's too.  But sometimes if I simplify things I actually do them versus stressing over all the details and not even finishing them.  Because traditions can be so simple and yet they mean so much to our kids.  They meant a lot to me growing up and now I want to give that to our kids.

I sure hope we have snow for Christmas though because this does not seem right - very cold temperatures but no snow.  It must be our first St. Nicholas Day here in the northern MN when there is no snow on the ground.  Our kids have been wanting to go sledding so bad that they tried sledding down a little patch of ice in our driveway. :)  I would make them a nice frozen slide down our driveway but I don't think Ehren would appreciate that very much, driving our vehicles down the ice.

at Grace and Kevins on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving

It is time for another Thanksgiving.  That's the American Thanksgiving, from pilgrims to turkey to a pre-Christmas holiday with families.  Even though I really don't get into it as much as a lot of people here, it is still a nice break for me from the ordinary, a chance to relax and visit family and friends.  When we lived in the Cities I always had to work Friday after Thanksgiving so we would always spend the day on Thursday with Ehren's aunt Grace and her family.  Somehow since then it became an unwritten tradition for us to spend Thanksgiving with the Meyers and we really enjoy it.  I was really upset when Ehren found out he had to work on Friday after Thanksgiving this year but since then he was able to switch with someone and we're good to go again.  :) When we moved up here I thought it would be so easy to get down to the cities and visit friends, family but it is far from easy.  We are lucky to get down 3 times a year now and so I want to hold on to our Thanksgiving tradition of going to the Cities because it is one more time we get to go down there.

In the light of Thanksgiving and pilgrims and all, Kade's teacher asked me to come talk to the whole class tomorrow about how I moved to the US and about my country, Slovakia.  When I asked her for some examples she said last year they had a lady come talk about her move from Cuba, how she traveled on a boat across the ocean and the hardship of living in Cuba and stuff.  I had to laugh to myself when I read that because come on, how is my story anything even comparable to that?  It's not like I was running away from a bad or poor place, if anything the first year in the US I wished I never left home. :)  So we'll see what the kids think of my sappy love story ending with me moving to the US.  Kade is really excited that I'm going to be the guest speaker in his class because I very rarely get to volunteer or help in any way since I have to do daycare.

One thing I've been wanting our family to do for Thanksgiving is to make our own little "thankful tree".  I found some nice red branches in our woods and cut out little notes out of scrapbook paper.  As part of our "Tuesday family supper" this week we all thought about all the things we are thankful for, wrote them down and hung them on our tree.  It is just sad when I think about thousands of things in my life I am thankful for and how quickly I forget about them when something just doesn't go the way I want it to.  I've been so spoiled that stupid trivial things that don't matter at all can ruin my day sometimes.  So I want to read and remember all those notes my kids wrote (despite some notes mentioning toys and their favorite things) and the ones I wrote because in the end, they are what matter in this life.  What I have right here and not the millions of things our society is telling me I need.  It is so easy to get sucked in, to compare our life with lives of others, to make sure we're not behind on anything and most importantly to make sure our kids are not lagging behind on any area of life.  So here is to a year of thankfulness.  To finding little joys every day and treasuring them.  To laughing and smiling instead of frowning. And to contentment and peace that's not of this world.  

     

(little Marcel :))
I'm bummed I missed Kade's music performance at
school but they sounded good on the video I saw

smile

Talking about a smile made me think of a cute story from a few weeks ago.  Kade and Anika were going to have a picture day at school.  I tried very hard to make them look as nice as possible, did French brades for Anika and all. :)  I kind of started coaching Kade a little bit a couple days before the picture day, not because he doesn't pose nice for pictures but because he had a front tooth that was pretty much ready to come out and was hanging way down so it was really noticeable.  I tried to show him to not do a big grinny smile where all his teeth would show because that tooth would really stand out.  So he practiced a few smiles and I knew it could turn out as whatever no matter what I say or do.  Somehow though, I was totally oblivious to the fact that Anika was taking this whole coaching in and was really thinking about her picture day.  I don't remember saying much to her other then to smile nice when the photographer says so.  I didn't expect much because this was her very first school picture and they really do them quick.  Then I totally forgot about the whole thing because it took a long time to get the pictures back.  Well, the day finally came a few weeks ago when Kade and Ani brought their pictures back.  Kade's turned out very nice even though he showed some teeth and when I look at it it reminds me a little bit of my dad.  The funny and cute part came when Anika came home because she was so excited to show me her pictures and she exclaimed "mommy, I didn't show my teeth!"  It took me a second to realize what she was talking about and as I pulled the picture out of the envelope, she was right.  She made sure her lips stayed tight together and she was so proud of it because she thought that was what I wanted.  I had to smile at her and I think I said something like "Ani, I wanted YOU to show your teeth when smiling." :) It is still a very nice picture of her and I don't think you need to smile big to have a good picture, it is just funny how she purposely posed that way.

Every time I think back to that little episode I have to think about how kids pay attention to everything and they think about everything we say.  Our little Ani wants to make us so proud and when she figures out something is important to do or not do she tries so hard to do just that.  She wants to please us and make us proud so bad and I don't ever want to take that for granted.

As I look at the 2 pictures together I can't help but think about how different Kade and Anika look.  Some kids on the bus kept asking Kade if that was really his sister and I don't blame them.  They really don't look much alike but I kind of like it.  I like the fact that all of our 3 kids look quite a bit different, to go with how different their personalities are.

Teeth

Today I went to the dentist with a tooth ache and came back home with one less tooth in my mouth.

If you know me well you know I hate everything about teeth.  It is mostly because of my horrible gingivitis (gum disease) and even more horrible experiences with dentists in Europe and in the US.  If I could make a deal with God to deliver 10 more children so that I never have to put a foot in the dentist office, I would gladly do it. :)

Well, I got one more bad news about my teeth today.  I went in with a tooth ache, which I thought would just be a big cavity.  Turns out it was way deep inside my tooth, under a huge silver filling.  Basically, if they tried to get rid of all the bad stuff in that tooth there would be nothing left to save.  So I came home today with one less tooth in my mouth.  It's always emotional to have a tooth pulled out and I'm not even sure why.  But the panic attack associated with the pain of pulling the tooth out is even worse so my nice dentist gave me the gas and plenty of injections.  It still feels weird when they do it, like they are going to pull your whole jaw out.  This tooth, whatever the number they kept talking about, is the last one in the back that I can have taken out and not miss it much when chewing.  I am just praying now that the tooth next to it will be ok enough to stay for a while.  That one too has some cavity but it's hard for them to see how bad it is so we have to wait on that and see.  If it turns out bad like the last one, I will need an implant there so I can chew my food. :)  I already need another implant right in the front which everyone sees when I smile or talk, and I keep postponing it all the time.  The tooth has gotten really crooked from the gingivitis over the last 10 years or so and is not strong enough to stay in if it's corrected.  The only logical thing is to pull it out and get an implant instead.  I'd love to do that too so I'm not that conscious of my smile all time but it costs so much money I never feel like I can justify it just for a nicer smile.  But maybe someday soon I will do it.  The implant in the back of my mouth, if it turns out bad enough, will be a lot more important to have done because it's not doing it for a cosmetic effect but for me to be able to chew food properly.

Well, it is a bit gross but teeth issues is something I have to struggle with.  We all have something in our life and I do know that I have to be thankful it is just teeth.  Really, with cancer and tumors all around me, how could I complain about the stupid teeth.  When I hear or read about someone going through chemo it always hits home for me and I quickly realize I have absolutely nothing in my life even comparable to that.  So I'll be ok going to my dentist for the 1000s time (and try to be ok with all the dental bills) and I'll be ok with my smile that shows my very imperfect teeth because I have so much more to be thankful for.

sleeping in?

Saturday is usually the one day when Ehren and I like to sleep in.  Not like past 9am sleeping in, that never happens :), just 7:30-8:00 is ideal for us.  Now that the kids are all out of the diapers and cribs, we are trying to train them in letting us sleep a little on Saturday.  Well, it's on and off depending on which one of them wakes up a little crabby. :)  Today was a bit of an off morning.  Kade is old enough to just go and find something quiet to do but Kason and Anika think "we're up, let's do our loud role playing, etc".  They usually end up in Ani's room and are to a point of yelling about this or that while Ehren and I try to snooze a little more.  Sometimes one of us yells out for them to be quiet but that usually doesn't last too long.  So this morning I finally got up because I couldn't sleep with the noises anymore.  But I really can't complain about our kids' sleeping habits because I know so many parents whose kids still at 3 or 4 years old don't sleep all night by themselves or are up way too early.  So I realize that our kids going to bed within minutes of us putting them down at 8pm and getting up at 7am is not that bad at all.  I should really be happy that Kason and Ani are such good buddies that they cannot play apart and from the moment they wake up they want to be together.  It is so sweet when I think about it yet I can get so mad at them for being loud or wild.  It is the prospective and how I choose to look at things that bother me.  Here's to a happy Saturday and choosing to smile at my kids.

having company

I don't know if many women feel this way, but it can be a bit stressful to have company over for dinner.  I don't mean people who have been to our place before, who know us, but people we invite over so we can get to know them better.  We are trying to do that when we notice a new couple in our church about our age because really, with our busy kids it is way too hard to carry on a nice conversation after church to get to know someone.  I am happy if I get to quick say hi to my good friends there, not to mention trying to meet someone new.  So we realize it is important for us to have people over and after a few years we learned not to expect a dinner invitation back from them. :) It is funny how after we have had some people over they would say "Oh, we have to have you guys over sometime, it would be fun."  But years go by and nothing, we don't get invited once.  I'm not bitter, really :) but why do people say things they don't mean?  I appreciate when people tell me they just don't like to cook and don't really have people over because then you understand.  I think some people just think it's polite to announce they would love to have us over even if they don't mean it.  Maybe it's part of the Minnesota nice code.  Like smiling "how are you?" as if they really cared but are walking away as you're about to answer "actually,...".  That is making a generalization though and my good friends don't do that, which I'm glad.  I know for a fact that to most people that don't know me well (and maybe even to those that do know me well) I appear very mad and unfriendly all the time simply because I don't grin at them when I meet them.  I just can't fake it.  I can't fake a big smile when I don't know someone well enough.  It is a little bit of my Slovak culture coming through and really, I am starting to realize it's ok to be that way.  It's ok because that is who I am and who God made me to be.  I am reserved and not very excited looking with people I don't know well. I need a deeper friendship to break that wall but once it does, I am a friend to stay no matter what.  And it is sad but I see way too many shallow friendships that don't mean much even though in conversation you would imagine they're best of friends.  I think I would rather have a true friend than one that is polite and smiles at me but doesn't know that inside I'm crying and feeling alone.

Anyway, back to my point.  I do love inviting new people over but the stress of getting the house looking just right can be a bit too much sometimes.  If it is someone who's been to our house it's fine, you just concentrate on the main living area and it's ok if our bedroom or bathroom is a disaster.  But with new people, it is polite to give them a tour of the house which means they will see almost every place of the house and there's no room for leaving at least one room messy.  So I've been running around for a day and a half now to start and finish all the laundry, to wash and change sheets on our beds, to clean up and de-clutter every room, to pay the bills, and to get the dinner ready for 4 adults and 7 kids.  Not easy when there are 5 little ones running around all day.  I know I get that monster look when I do that because I am so focused on getting this house cleaned up or else.  I do love it though for an evening or two when the house is still clean and I can finally relax a bit, sit down and enjoy the clean view before it's ruined again. :)  I also love doing all the work on Friday and come Saturday almost all the chores are done.  It's almost like having 2 Sundays in a row minus going to church. :)  We had a really nice time visiting with a couple and their 4 kids tonight and now it feels like the hard work I did was so worth it.  I know there are a lot of people who say it's not worth it but clean house matters to me.  Our kids just loved having friends over too and were all having a blast.  I love family get togethers like that, when everyone has a good time and you just visit and get to know someone a little better.

family dinners

You read and hear about family dinners everywhere.  They say that families that eat dinners together end up a lot stronger and kids grow up with a lot bigger sense of family.  I can see just from the time I was young until now, it is less and less common to eat dinners at home together as a family because everyone is so on the go and some family members are either at a sport, activity or other outing.  And I do understand there are many families where husbands and wives have to work opposite shifts because that's the only job they can find and many other reasons people can't do it.  But we are not one of those families and so finally this year, Ehren and I decided to start our little family tradition so we don't slip into that mode of never eating together.  Weekends are usually pretty crazy for us since that's the only time I can go out and do some shopping or visit with friends or have someone over or whatever.  So besides the weekend I thought we need to make a use of our nice dining room and have special dinners together once a week.  It has been a few weeks now that on a Tuesday night, I make a nice home-made meal with dessert and everything and we all eat together and talk.  It's funny how we got so used to just eating in our kitchen since there is plenty of room for all of us but doing this once a week it makes it special to eat where we usually eat only for special occasions.  The kids get excited now when we have our nice dinners in the dining room and I have to say it is a nice little break from the usual quick dinners.  And it's not that we don't eat together the rest of the week, most of the days we still do but because of some activities and things that come up, me and the kids usually eat before Ehren is even home from work.  But on Tuesday night, we have nothing going on and we just spend the whole evening together as a family.  I'm really enjoying it even though some of the times I just sit there during dinner, listen to the kids talk about their day and really, my head is a mush from a busy day so I barely say anything (as Ehren pointed out the other time:)).  But I don't think that matters because really, I just enjoy the time with all of us at the table and Ehren not using any tech gadgets for a night.  It is one more thing I added to my list to simplify my life.  Because it is time devoted to just our family.  I really hope we can continue this tradition as the kids grow older and more independent from us.  Because our family matters to God and it matters to me.

Halloween

So, the Halloween finally came and can I just say "is it over yet?" :)  If it was one night and is done with, but we've been having Halloween for a few days now because each class at school does their little dress-up party on a different day. So I've been dressing up Kason and Ani into their costumes like 5 times and Kason probably 5-10 times a day. :) I can't complain, they really loved it. We had a very fun get-together at Kjell and Jessica's house with friends from church on Saturday. We had a bon fire, hay ride, some kids wore their costumes and everyone had such a good time. It was a great turn out too and I think we had around 50 people there. It was so nice to just stand by the fire and enjoy some adult conversations while the kids were squealing and running around the huge yard.  Somehow, I enjoyed it too much to take some pictures but I hope to see someone else's pictures online.  And finally, today came and time for the real "trick-or treating".

Anika is discovering more about the Halloween world this year probably because of being in school and has asked me the other day how come we don't have any scary things in front of our house. So I tried to answer as simply as I could saying that God doesn't like scary things and doesn't want us to be scared. So now when she sees scary things in front of someone's house she points it out to me and says "mom, they don't know about God either." :) It just makes me smile.

Now we are finally done but I have to say, it is our first Halloween "way up North" when we didn't have to bundle up and we didn't even need hats or mittens.  That's probably my favorite part about tonight. :)  Our first stop was a church in town that hosted a Harvest festival and the kids had a lot of fun there.  Kason just spent most of his time in the bouncy houses, Anika took her time decorating a big cookie with all kinds of candy and then ate it all, and Kade went around the whole place and played every single game you could play to win candy/trinkets.  After that we went to see Ehren's great aunt Judith at the nursing home and we did some runs in a popular neighborhood.  Finally, we made our way to nana and papa's house and were ready to be done.  Kids' buckets were full, they had a lot of fun and all pretty much crashed a few minutes after we got home.  It may be a different story tomorrow when Kason will be begging for his bucket of candy all day. :)  Well, another Halloween behind us and it was good.  It is a nice family outing for us, especially now that all 3 kids understand what it is about.  Despite a few creepy costumes and decorations we came across, we had a good time.  And Ehren and I are both beyond exhausted. :)  Good night to all!  

At the ECFE last week

Lots of activities to do

my 2 babies having fun with their outfits

kitty, superman and waluigi

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I know, the title looks like a kid held the "R" key down or something but it is the perfect title for my thought for the day. Our little Kason has been making these funny sounds once in a while, almost like he's stuttering but he's doing it for fun, on purpose. Ehren asked about it the other day but I guess I got so used to hearing it I don't even notice it anymore. Until, this past week Kason mastered his little tongue game and discovered how to roll his Rs perfectly. I could not be more proud when I heard him over and over going "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" with the perfect sound - like a true Slovak. :) Trying to teach different phrases and words in Slovak to Kade and Anika, seems like the letter "r" is the hardest for them to get right, or as they say to "roll their Rs" so then the whole word sounds American when they say it. So when Kason did that I couldn't believe it. Ehren can't learn it still and I don't know if some people just never learn it or what. So of course, I've been coaching Kason now to repeat all the Slovak words with "r" in it because I don't want him to forget this skill. He is pretty proud of his "rrrrrrrrrrrrr" sound though and is doing it quite a bit during the day. I think it is a tiny reminder to me that now is my time to pour my all into our kids, no matter how hard and tiring it is and no matter how reluctant they are about it. They will soon be gone but they are here now, ready to learn what I have to teach them.

Anika

Anika had a big day today.  First she had preschool and she couldn't stop talking about all the things they did there.  In the afternoon I had to take her to the doctor for her 5th year check up, a long-time dreaded appointment because she was getting all the shots that are required for Kindergarten next Fall.  I have been preparing her about the shots for months now and she knew that after her birthday she was going to get them.  I finally scheduled the appointment for today and she was so great.  It seems like she is growing up so much in every way.  To make it a fun day for her instead of a scary one, I told her that when she is brave at the doctor we will go to Dairy Queen for a treat.  She was so excited about the DQ that I don't think anything else mattered at all.  I was trying to remember when the last time was we took our kids there for a treat and I couldn't even remember because it is such a huge treat at our house.  Well, I think it is mostly due to my thinking that it is just an overpriced ice cream place (which it is :)) but I guess once in a great while it's ok.  Especially when I see Ani's bright blue eyes just light up with excitement when she talks about it.  The doctor's appointment went great and Anika did really well even though she was a bit shy with the doctor.  It was a bit long too but the 3 shots at the end finally came.  Ani was so brave and I know it was hard for her because sometimes just the thought of getting hurt makes her cry. :)  So the first 2 shots she just made a little face but didn't even peep which shocked me.  The last shot was something that I guess hurts as it shoots into the body so she did let out a little cry but I was so surprised that was it.  I was really expecting fighting with her, or even having to hold her tiny body down but she did awesome.  My brave little girl.  We sat down at DQ and enjoyed our treat and I told her how proud I was of her.  But I think she's taking after her dad with the ice cream because I barely started mine when she was all done with hers. :)  Afterwards we ran some errands and just took our time while Ehren was with the boys plus 3 extra kids at home.  Anika was just in Heaven and she wouldn't stop talking from all the excitement.  I think it's so important to spend one on one time with our kids once in a while, which is not easy to do in the midst of all the commitments, schedules, etc.  But kids sure love the time with mom or dad alone, not having to fight for their attention and just feeling special for that one moment.  I am really thankful I had this moment with Ani today, thankful for a husband that made sure we had all the time we wanted and I hope I have many more moments like these with her and my boys.

Kade

I am so proud of our Kade.  He is very smart, sometimes too smart for his own good. :)  It is funny, he is only 8 but it sure feels like he's in early teens some days.  Just very opinionated, thinks he knows everything best and it is becoming a whole new level of parenting for us.  It is not "do this because I said so" anymore, or at least not most of the times.  We have to actually discuss things, attitude, and why we do it and so on. :)  Sometimes I miss the days when he would just love to help me with anything, I would tell him to get some small chore done and he would be all excited to do it for me. Now, not so much.  Although the chore chart works wonders and we let him earn money for completing them which we put in his savings account.  He knows exactly how much money is in there at all times and he likes to save up for some toys or things so that's great.  He always used to love Math at school, it was his favorite but this year he decided he likes reading the most.  It makes me so happy because I am not a reader.  I think I read really slow in comparison to other people but it's been also hard for me to read because I hate putting a book down when I'm in the middle of it and would stay up until 2, 3 am reading it.  So then I just don't read because I feel like what's the point when I can't finish them for a month.  Anyway, I've always read to our kids a lot, ever since they were babies and I feel like it's paying off now because they all like reading a lot.  If I had the time they would love it if I read books to them for hours.  It is still our naptime routine to sit on the bed or couch, all cuddled together and we read books.  It helps Kason now because he hates taking naps and almost doesn't need them anymore but reading books first eases him into it and he knows once we're done it's time for the nap.  Kade is getting bored with the little kids' books though and loves reading chapter books.  I'm glad our library has a lot of them and he went through so many books from there over the summer.  Just this week, Kade's precious journal came that he ordered online.  He paid for it with his own money and he just wanted a diary so bad, but it had to have a lock so we had to get it online.  I'm not sure why it had to have a lock because he doesn't care if I read it and Kason and Anika couldn't read it even if they wanted to. :) But, I was glad because his handwriting can use any practice it can get.  This year, in the 3rd grade they focus a lot on handwriting which is Kade's biggest struggle and he hates it too.  But it was funny to me, looking for diaries everywhere, they sell them only for girls.  Or I should say like 98% I found were all for girls and that is sad.  It would be great to encourage boys to write and they would love it if they made some cool ones for them.  Ones that don't show skeletons or pirates, which is the only thing I was able to find.

We just had our parent-teacher conference tonight.  Kade's teacher this year is very different from the one last year and Kade has missed her so much.  The 2nd grade teacher was young, very sweet all the time and promised to never yell at them which was the most important thing to Kade.  After the first 2 or 3 weeks of the 3rd grade Kade would come home and tell me he doesn't like his teacher now because she yells a lot.  I said "well, I yell a lot too" but he's more scared of her I think. :)  I think it has gotten a lot better though, she told us tonight she never yells but she is just a louder person (I'm not sure I believe her "never yelling" part though :)).  Anyway, it went really well and he's doing great with everything.  It is great to see him having good friends in his class, even though they get in trouble together.  It is funny how every little thing is a competition to these boys.  Whether it's a Math test or standing in line to go to the next room, they have to be first and so the teacher is having a little hard time with that but it's nothing bad.  They're just boys and it's good to see Kade coming out of his shell a bit more this year.  He sure is growing up, getting more brave and is learning about who he is and who he wants to be.  It makes me a bit scared about being a good parent because it gets so much harder each year.  There are so many more issues to wrestle with than when they are toddlers or preschoolers.  I will have to write soon about the book I am almost done with - "a Grace-based Parenting".  It is teaching me so much about the way I approach our kids every day and mostly about how it's ok to let them go out into the world because that is how God designed it.  He made us a part of this world, not a part of our little Christian world behind a huge gate so we can stay safe and harmless.  But more about that some other time.  It's time for bed.

thank you for coming

I think I'm going to have to take the number of views out of my blog because I am feeling a bit self conscious about so many people reading what I write.  I am kind of hoping that my parents are just clicking on the same page over and over so it counts for more people than it is. :)  No, it is great and I'm thankful for everyone that comes here but at the same time I worry if I am offending someone because I can be pretty high strong on some things at the moment, when in fact it's not like I am dwelling on those things or I am upset about them.  I just like writing random things down that I've been thinking about so I apologize if it's dumb or insensitive or just plain boring some days.  It is crazy that once you start blogging you do tend to think about oh, I bet nobody cares about these stupid little thoughts I have but then I have to think back to why I started this.  It is a bit of a therapy for me, to see the light at the end of my tiny tunnels and to appreciate all the small and boring things in my life. :)

presents

I've been thinking about Christmas presents already because it will come before we know it and it seems like it is always a bit stressful to find the right gifts for our kids or someone special.  Especially when it comes to the kids, you don't want them to get too many presents that they just expect getting more and more each year.  It can be hard as the kids get older and they watch what their friends have, especially in this day of tech toys and video games.  On one hand it is good for them to learn about computers and tech gadgets when the whole world is going that way but on the other hand how much do they need.  The big thing for younger kids like our Kade is to have a cell phone.  Really?  Who are they going to call?  Ehren and I don't even have normal cell phones and I don't see any reason for our kids to have one until they drive.  Anyway, Christmas can get a bit carried away in some families where aunts and uncles buy gifts for everyone.  We are just a very materialistic society and I don't think it will change.  If it changed we would have a huge economy crisis. :)  But talking to some friends and family, our kids really don't need anything.  They have plenty of toys and plenty of things to do.  With our family, we used to do the cousin exchange for Christmas but it came up to be cheaper gifts that kids didn't really need anyway so we decided to just do Operations Christmas Child instead.  I usually show our kids youtube videos of different countries around the world where the children are getting the shoe boxes and it is so fun for our kids to see that.  When you see those kids getting so excited about their first present in their whole life, it just makes sense and it makes you feel like why do we think we deserve all these things in our lives.  We also buy gifts at Samaritan's Purse where you can buy goats, chickens or cows for families in third world countries in the name of someone.  I really enjoy doing that versus trying to find the right gift that the person will like.  We do get some special gifts for our kids though because birthdays and Christmas is about the only time they get new toys and they get so excited for it.  It just doesn't have to be anything huge because really, they are happy about a lot of little things but I am more conscious now about buying them toys that are good quality and have some educational value in it.  I can see though that it is tougher with teenagers and older kids that want a lot more expensive gifts and seeing some families I know I don't know how they're able to afford gifts that they get unless they use credit cards or loans.  It is just good to remember the real reason for Christmas and talk about it often with our children so we can help them move away from what I am getting and towards what I am giving to others around me.  

girls

It is Friday and I was excited for the weekend to start until a couple bad news came a little while ago.  First, it looks like Ehren has to work the day after Thanksgiving which is when we love going to the Cities for a long weekend and then my good friend called and she can't make our little getaway tomorrow either.  Bummer!  It's so easy to just get all mad and dwell in the self pity but I can make the best of it too.  It's my choice.  But that's not what I was going to write about.  I just had to complain to the world a little. :)

I have to say this friend I was excited to hang out with is a big answer to a prayer for a good friend in my life, ever since we moved up here 5 years ago.  I can't believe it's been that long because it feels like we're still so new to the community and even our church.  I do have good friends, the problem is most of them are either too busy for me or we don't have that much in common and at this point in my life it is hard to find good friends who aren't already taken. :)  I know, it's silly but that's the truth as far as women go.  I am not sure if a small town makes it worse, sometimes it feels that way.  And very likely I may seem that way to other women so I'm not trying to slam others here.  Us girls are very funny creatures.  Of course, there are a lot of exceptions to the rule, but it is interesting to me how many women around me are still in their adulthood very insecure in so many aspects of life and are constantly comparing themselves to that prettier or trendier or more of a "Martha Stewart" woman next to her.  I am no exception, I'll do that more times than I would want or even admit but at the same time I am surprised to find out I am not in a minority and a lot of women around me struggle with those things daily.  In some ways guys are spared of so much drama in their life. :)  My absolute biggest pet peeve when it comes to women friends (and really to be fair I don't know too many women who do this) is when someone is "bragging" about doing this or that with their Best friend.  It is very middleschool-ish to me, but I am finding how so many women don't change since high school and it is still about who is your best friend and who you're "playing with" and "not playing with".  Seriously (something my 8 yr old would say)?  But I try to just ignore it when I see it and be very careful not to ever brag about my friendships and even say the word best friend because really, you don't know who could be the biggest blessing to you today or tomorrow.  And you don't know if the person that is listening isn't wishing she did that with you instead and was called someone's best friend.  If we don't reach out and invite new people in we will never know if they can be our new "best" friends.  I just joined a new Bible study with about 7 women of all different ages and it is so good to be able to share struggles/challenges/life with them.  I especially like listening to and talking with the older women who have been where I am, who have had their shares of hurt, disappointment and joy.  Women need each other whether they like it or not and I hope I don't close the door on any woman who is lonely and can't fit in with anyone.  It is so easy to do when we don't purposely look for them but they're out there, at every social gathering I can think of.

superman

Halloween is a holiday I don't think I'll ever understand and really I have no idea if we should even be encouraging our kids to participate in it but since it is about candy and dressing up, the kids love it way too much to take it away.  Growing up in Slovakia, our "Halloween" was All Saints' Day.  Even though my family is not catholic, our country is mostly catholic and so a lot of church holidays follow the catholic lead.  I must say, it is a much more beautiful and peaceful celebration than our American Halloween.  Everyone goes to the graves of their loved ones, lights candles around the graves, people bring beautiful fresh flowers and just remember those they've lost.  I just have this image in my head when I think about it - pretty candles lighting up the dark cemeteries, everyone being very quiet and whispering (I'm not sure why you have to be quiet at the cemeteries, like we're interrupting the dead people's precious rest, but it's a rule).  Every time I remember that I can almost smell the burning candles, love that smell. :)

Anyway, since Halloween is coming I had to start thinking what our kids could wear and how we can do it without buying new outfits.  Well, I almost did it but then I did let Kade buy his favorite Mario character costume.  I was working really hard with Kason so he would choose one of our costumes from Kade when he was about his age.  The first one was a bit too small, the second one only lasted a day and he didn't like it.  I was starting to think I may have to come up with something new but then Kade dug out one costume I almost forgot about - the superman.  Kason has been so into spiderman lately which Kade never was and I don't know how it even started but I thought for sure he wouldn't care for the superman because it is NOT spiderman.  But to my delight, he loves superman and I got more than I wished for because he likes it a little bit too much.  He knows where it is at all times and he brings it to me at least 4 times a day so I would put it on him.  He would just keep it on all day but I told him it is only for inside and he can't eat in it so it stays nice for Halloween. :)  I can't help but smile at him as I put it on for the 100th time because every single time I put it on his face lights up and he is so proud of his outfit.  "I like my superman costume, mom" he says every time.   I love our little superman and it fits him so well.  He is so determined and so excited about some things and there is not much that can stand in his way once he sets his mind on it. Anika is really excited to be a cat and I'm so glad because it didn't cost anything and it is really cute.  One day before the kids are too old for it though I am going to make m&m costumes for them, each of them a different color m&m.  That would be really cute but this year, only one of the children was on board with that so it has to wait a little.  So for now, we have a little superman at our house and I'm curious to see if it will stop once Halloween is over.

just a couple fall pictures

breaking the Fall cycle

I have decided that I must be getting old.  Or else it is the "living up North" syndrome. :)  While we lived in the Cities and even when Kade was 2 years old I remember how it was nothing to get up at 4:45am, go to the health club or go for a run outside.  Now, when the fall comes all I want to do is sleep and when that alarm goes off before 6am, more times than not I just turn it off and snooze a bit more before I have to get the kids up for school.  I feel totally pathetic, like an old lady who needs her 9-10 hours of sleep.  Where is my energy going?  I also blame my mom's heavenly goose down comforters she gave us.  Ever since we have them both Ehren and I sleep sooo well (well, Ehren has his sleeping issues like all his siblings but he still loves the comforter).  Especially on cold nights it just feels way too good to get out of by the time the morning comes.  But still, I definitely feel this pull inside of me every Fall to just be lazy, curl under a blanket with a book or a good show instead of being active, workout or something.  I have to really force myself to do the extra stuff when not too long ago I couldn't wait to get out there.  The darkness at 7pm doesn't help me either, but really this bear hibernation feeling is not fun.  Seems like every Spring I try to get myself up and running again because I get so out of shape from the rare workouts over the Fall/Winter.  Usually, the thing that gets me off my butt like a whip is when my pants start to get too snug but somehow, I am not even gaining weight so that stinks because in my "bad" mind I feel like I don't need to workout because I'm still the same size or even losing weight. :)  Anyway, it is time for me to break the cycle this year.  I will stick to more than 2 runs and workouts a week!  :)  I miss my colleagues who would do this with me, one time we had a calendar going with stars for each workout we did and that was a motivator!  Now I don't have that but maybe I should start my own "star" calendar and see if that helps.  Well, I am working out tonight no matter what.  I guess just one day at a time.  Happy Staying-Active Fall to you!