little blessings

I had to smile today when I thought of how God is taking care of me even in small things that seem pretty unimportant. Yesterday and today were going to be tough days to sub because I'm having a party at our house tonight and with our crazy weekend of basketball and church concerts I didn't get much done at home. So when Monday came I was really hoping to not get a call to sub.  On the other hand, we can use the money and I hate saying no so I knew no matter what I'd say yes if they called.

And they did, as usual around 7:15am I got a call to sub at the Middle school. An art teacher got sick and didn't leave any notes or anything.  But even though it was a bummer I couldn't use all the cool supplies they have and do some art, it was actually a super low key day.  You can't even compare it to a day at the Elementary school where you are stressed to the max the whole day.  I still prefer the stress :) because that's how I am but really I needed a day of chilling and rest in the middle of a crazy few weeks.  

This morning I got a call again from the Middle school because the same teacher was still sick.  But the secretary assured me there are sub plans in her e-mail inbox that she'll print out for me.  I was actually a bit excited to see what I get to do with the kids, only to find out it was 2 simple drawing sheets and one didn't even work to print.  If I knew that I would have printed something at home we could do.  Oh well, back to an easy day it was.  At least the kids were very good and respectful which helps a lot.  During my lunch break I was able to find another sheet that was harder for the last 3 classes to work on so that was good because they took most of the class with them.  

But it is funny how it all worked out.  Just 5 minutes after I told the Middle school I would sub there, I got a call from the Elementary school asking me to sub.  If the Middle school never called, I'd be way more stressed and tired to get stuff done at home in the evening.  So I'm thankful today for those little things.

This weekend I got my nice warm mittens stolen, at church of all places.  I was really upset mostly because it is freezing cold already and they were the only mittens that kept me warm enough and still allowed me to drive and grab things as I'm going places.  But, God had something else in mind and when I thought for sure I wouldn't find any good mittens in our small town, the Fleet store had these awesome leather mittens with lamb wool inside for only $15.  I was so excited and they are also so much warmer than my other gloves were.  So in a way it was a blessing to have my gloves stolen. :)

Talking about blessings, on Sunday we found a card in our church's inbox from an anonymous friend.  They were thanking Ehren and I for all we do at the church and there was a $50 cash in it.  We were both shocked and would love to know who did it.  It is just so unexpected and the person doesn't even know how it blessed us because money is tight around this time of the year.

So much to be thankful for and so much I don't deserve.  Tonight some of my best friends came over for a girls Christmas ornament exchange and it was so nice to fellowship with these sweet ladies.  I'm really glad I took the time to do it and plan for it.  I love spending time with them. Here is the picture with our ornaments.  It was taken by a very bad camera so it's not the best picture but at least something.  Fun girls night for sure! 

Tomorrow I am a Kindergarten teacher again for 3 days in a row so I better get some rest so I can keep up with those kiddos. :) Life is good!

busy

Well, when it rains it pours :).  I have been waiting and waiting for subbing more at the Elementary school and I am getting my wish these last two weeks.  It started with Kindergarten all week last week and this week it's one thing after another.  I do enjoy it and am thankful for the opportunity but this week cannot get done fast enough.  Of course when there is one thing going on, there's everything at once.  Our church is having their annual huge Christmas choir concert with all the kids and adults involved this weekend.  Normally it would just be getting the kids to the practices but since Ehren is the main sound guy he's been spending most evenings and nights at church this week.  And on top of that I scheduled our Sunday School class Christmas party for tomorrow night, the night before the first concert.  I really tried to have it another night but nothing worked for the people involved so it had to be tomorrow.  Still, I thought I would have plenty of time for cleaning up and decorating our house since I haven't been subbing much.  And here I am, the night before the party, trying to get everything ready and cleaned up and appetizers prepped because I've been subbing every day with stuff going on almost every night. 

I really can't complain one bit, it is a blessing to be called to sub especially since I was starting to think they are all against me over there. :) Turns out they kind of like me and keep asking me to come back.  Today it was 2nd grade and that was a bit challenging.  Overall it was a good class, but the teacher had so many tasks and worksheets she expected the kids to get done and me correct them that it got a bit too much.  About one third of the class had a hard time with every assignment and needed my personal attention while a few smart kids kept asking for more work to do and while other kids couldn't sit still and still a couple other kids kept coming up to me saying they have a head ache, stomach ache, I need to tie their shoes or give them band aides for paper cuts. :) I was almost losing it a few times and have no idea how that teacher deals with such high-needs class.  So far the 3 kindergarten classes I taught were way better on staying on tasks than these 2nd graders.  But it is good for me to find out what each grade is like and how to deal with the kids.  It is so different from class to class.  Tomorrow I am a music teacher again which means I'll have all different grades all day long.  I'm excited because I get to teach Ani's and Kason's classes and it's fun when I know the kids there already.  Plus, with music there's no work to be done.  It's just playing games or watching something so not that hard.  The kids I've subbed for get really excited too when they see me in the hallways or in the lunch room and it's kind of cool.  It is really something how kids can get attached to a teacher.  I feel like most of the times I sub I am frantically trying to figure out how to do everything in the time given and there's no time for fun or even nurturing with the younger kids.  Yet, for some reason as I walk in the hallways kids get excited to see me and some just come up to me and hug me really tightly as if we were really good buddies.  It makes me smile and think how they don't even know how much it means to me.  Without ever hearing I did a good job because I very rarely hear from a teacher afterwards seeing the kids' big smiles is what I get and that's ok with me.

 

back to subbing

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend visiting Ehren's brother and family in the Cities.  Just nice, relaxing time and had a lot of fun visiting with everyone at Ehren's aunt Grace's family for a Thanksgiving meal.

We got home last night and I was kind of hoping for a day to myself where I could get stuff done at home, get some Christmas decorations out and stuff.  Plus I was a bit under the weather with a cold coming on so a restful day sounded great.  But, as I was getting the kids some breakfast I got a phone call to sub for a Kindergarten teacher.  Of course I said yes.  A small part of me wanted to say I couldn't but then I've been waiting and waiting to get a call for the Elementary school so I had to go.  And how bad would it be since I already subbed in Kason's class and it went great.

Well, not so much today. :) I know a big part of it was that the kids came back to school after a 4 day weekend but I just wasn't expecting so much wildness.  Most of the class was pretty disruptive, getting into arguments and fights, and the never ending tattle telling.  It doesn't help when I come to the classroom in the morning and there's a 5 page sheet of the instructions for the day which I'm trying to figure out in 10 minutes.  Of course, half of the important assignments according to the sheet I could not find anywhere and had to ask another teacher for help.  So, the day was a bit crazy and chaotic and I just thought how the Kindergarten teachers must be saints for sure.  I was relieved when towards the end of the day we got most of the things on the list accomplished and no kids got hurt. :)

But then the last few minutes of the day were crazy.  I thought I gave the kids enough time to put all their winter gear on but when you have 10+ kids that you need to stand over or else they will not even begin to get dressed it is a nightmare.  There were at least 3 boys that if I didn't physically put their snowpants, boots, coats and mittens on for them they would be still sitting there now.  So, I got them all lined up according to the bus schedule, with the kids that were going to be picked up first, then some staying for afterschool program and so on.  In the meantime the kids kept coming out of their line, push and shove each other so it was a bit crazy.  I walk out of the building with a long line of 5 year olds following me and getting on 10 different buses or so.  When we're half way done, I call out the names of kids for a particular bus and an extra boy is heading that way.  I ask his name and of course, he's one of the kids that should have stayed after school for a booster club.  Phew, I had him hold my hand and back to school we went after all the kids boarded the bus safely.  And, when I got to the classroom I found out another girl got on the bus that should have stayed too. :)  Just things like that you don't realize how much the teachers have to deal with.  This particular teacher had someone die in her family unexpectedly and she took the next 2 days off too.  Which means 2 more days with the same class.  I sure hope I'm able to calm them down better tomorrow.  The one thing that worked was when I would either read a book out loud to them or else we would use the smart board for something so if they're wild again tomorrow I may have to read a lot of books. :) 

But at one point during the day when the kids had their free activity time, some girls were working on writing their letters to Santa.  One girl was finishing up her letter and with a smile she said to me "my mom will know what I wrote." I'm thinking sure, she's going to know because you're bringing these letters home but another girl interrupted my thought saying "her mom is in Heaven".  I was stunned for a moment, mostly because of how calm and peaceful this girl was about her mom being in Heaven.  A little 5 year old girl that might never have that "mom" person in her life.  And so many times her teacher is the closest one to being her mom.  So in the midst of the crazy and chaotic day it really hit me and it sure changes the prospective of a "bad" day. :)

When I got home today, in the middle of making dinner I dug out just one Christmas decoration - an Advent wreath.  I lit the first candle and it was good.  I hope there are many moments like this when  I pause and remember what and who is really important in my life.

preschool teacher

Being a teacher is not an easy job, especially in this day and age when so many parents expect them to do their job for them in every way.  Meeting and working with a lot of teachers this year it is interesting to me how you can see if they really enjoy their job or are just surviving it.  Most teachers I came across so far have been really great and wonderful teachers who truly care about every child in their class.  But this week I came across a woman who I think should get a reward for being extraordinary in her job. 

I knew this lady a little bit because she is one of the assistants in preschool and all of our kids had her in their class.  She is in her 50s or so, always has a smile on her face and a loving tone even when she's disciplining a child.  This week I got to work with her in the classroom where I subbed and she was such a great help in everything.  What really impressed me about her though was how she talked about a little girl during our lunch break.  This girl came there to preschool a few years back and now she's in 4th or 5th grade.  She comes from a poor family and a very rough environment where she's not taken care of properly, is very dirty with greasy hair.  Now, this girl is getting a bit older and she comes to school feeling embarrassed about her appearance so this sweet preschool teacher has her come to her office almost every day before the school starts and she washes her hair, dries it and styles it nicely for this girl.  It almost made me cry when she was describing this little girl because you could really tell how much this teacher cared.  I have no idea what is the line to cross for the social services to do something and maybe they tried with no results.  I just feel that teachers like her are the real teachers.  It is not in her job description, very far from it yet she talks about it with such joy.  She truly enjoys taking care of kids and she is so happy that this girl lets her do it for her and just seeing how proud she is of her appearance afterward is a reward to her.   Teaching is so much more than having kids learn new facts or excel in reading, it is about making a real difference in that little girl's life who will grow up and remember the kind teachers that really cared for and loved her.  And it is a great feeling to see so many teachers in our schools being that way.

  

thankful...

Today I'm thankful for a break, a day of catching-up, of being able to greet my kids when they come home from school, for peaceful evenings (most of the times :), and for all the little things that I take for granted. 

This morning I woke up to way too much daylight and as soon as I saw it I knew - we overslept!  I hit my phone and phew, it's only 7:25 :)  As I rushed out of bed and got the kids up there zoomed the bus by our house.  I was thinking to myself how thankful I was for not having to sub today because I'm pretty sure I'd be late.  But the kids had breakfast, got dressed and off we went, right on time. :)  That is a lesson to me to not rely on Ehren's alarm clock.  He wasn't feeling good last night and didn't go to sleep until around 3am so he didn't have his alarm on.  And I thought I'll just hear his and get up soon after he's out of bed. :)  So the morning was off to a bit of a rushed start and I'm not feeling so well either.  Lots of colds and flus are going around in town.

After I dropped the kids off, I got the oil change on the van before we take it to the Cities next week.  Then I came home and had my breakfast.  It is funny how quickly the kitchen and other rooms get all messy when I have stuff going on few days in a row.  I subbed at the Middle school on Tuesday and at preschool yesterday.  Both evenings were so busy that we were barely home for an hour to eat and do homework and then just go to bed.  So I am really thankful for a break today and for being able to catch up on the house work.  Every time it happens, I keep thinking about the women who have small children and work full time and have sports/activities to do in the evening.  How do they get anything done at home?  How do they have time for their kids?  I know when you're in a situation you just do what you have to to make it work but from my experience, it really affects the mom, the family and the kids.  So this year I am making very little money and yes, we don't have much left over and have to be careful with what we buy but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  I am here when the kids get home from school, I can give them my whole attention and focus and we are not so rushed every week night.  So really, there are big trade offs when a mom stays at home.  They are not materialistic or tangible, but they are so important especially for the kids.  And when I talk to my mom friends who have a bit older kids they all say the kids really need moms home even when they're in middle school.  Their whole life changes, everything is awkward, they're trying to figure out who they are and the one safe place they have is home.  So I know that is where I need to be no matter the cost.

Tuesday was the first time I subbed for a "para".  That is an educational assistant that helps a group of kids in higher grades or an individual student in Elementary school.  It works great from what I see but I just can't believe how many fulltime assistants the schools need because there are so many students with behavioral/mental/physical issues.  Being around the schools more this year, I talked to some women I know and a lot of them started like me, subbing for teachers.  But a lot of times the newer people get put on a back burner while the retired teachers get called in to sub every day of the week.  And so a lot of the younger people that are subbing quit if they can get a job as an educational assistant because even though it pays less, at least they get a job for every day and don't have to wonder if they are getting calls or not.

So I was excited to sub for one of them because I've been thinking about how I would like it and if it's something for me.  At least in Middle school you follow your 4-5 students around all day and pretty much make sure they're doing the work they're supposed to or help them if they don't understand.  At the same time, it was a bit weird to stand by someone and work with him on the Math assignment as the teacher is going over it with the class.  Some of the kids get a little self conscious that they have a person next to them and so they refuse help even though they can't do a simple assignment.  And some I had were just plain lazy and did not want to work at all.  It would take them 5 minutes to copy a sentence into their notebook.  I know this job really varies depending on who the kids are, what classes they take and how their behavior is.  But at least in Middle school the teachers didn't give them any slack and if they misbehave or refuse to do their work, they get a lunch detention or after school detention where they have to work on it.  I liked just being able to meet more teachers and see how they teach and stuff.  One of the Math classes I went to, the teacher was my old teacher from High School when I was an exchange student here so that was weird and she looked exactly the same.  I had flashbacks to the Trigonometry class and just remembered how much I liked it because it was so much easier than in Slovakia. :)

     

school reports

It was Ehren's birthday yesterday and usually we do something with the kids in the evening, or just us but the only time that worked to have parent teacher conferences was last night and it's not a quick there and back when you see 3 teachers.  At the same time, I love sharing it with Ehren.  It's nice for him to see the details of kids' school life and just gives us more to talk about how we can be there better for our kids.  So it was a great date night in my mind anyway :)

We started off with Kason's teacher and no surprises there.  They tested him for reading and his level is so high there's nobody in his class to match up with.  The teacher said she could work one on one with him but it's more fun to be in a little group with his buddies and work as a group.  So he'll actually work on a bit easy books for him but he'll bring books home to read that are harder and we can work on that ourselves.  The hard things for him are the fine motor skills and writing.  It doesn't come easy to him and has to work hard to make the letters nice.  At the same time it's very frustrating to him because he knows exactly what they should look like and could even write his own sentences but his hand is not matching up with what he knows. :) So we need to really work on that.  Otherwise, he's just a very smart little boy and has such a kind loving heart.  I just hope he can get challenged enough in the future because he loves learning new things and if there's too much of repetitive and easy things he starts to misbehave because he's bored.

It was so nice talking to Anika's teacher.  She loves how sweet and kind Anika is.  She is so responsible and independent and works so hard at everything.  Math doesn't click for her as easily as for our boys but I loved what her teacher said.  She said that she sees way too many people being concerned with the test scores and how much ahead their kids are in 1st grade, but they forget to let the kids just be kids.  Anika loves to play pretend plays with Kason or by herself and the teacher said that is so wonderful and so important at her age.  If they can play and let their imagination grow, it will be way more beneficial to them later on than worrying about test scores.  And she's really not behind on anything, she eventually gets everything they are working on and once she knows it she really knows it well.  Her reading is really good and I am just happy she loves school and is excited and ready to go every day. She also loves homework and that's always the first thing on her mind when she gets home to get everything done.

And Kade's teacher was the last stop.  This is the first year when they are getting grades on everything besides the standardized tests that everyone has to take.  It is a bit of a learning curve for Kade because he never had to work for his grades but it's exactly what he needs before he starts Middle school next year.  The teacher says he knows Kade is really smart and just gets everything right away, but he misses a lot of details or doesn't pay full attention to every problem and stuff so his grades are not showing his potential at all.  But they just started the grades and since that never mattered to Kade before, it's something new.  Before, if he got 2 problems wrong because he rushed he would just say that's ok, I know how it should be but that's over now.  If you miss 2 problems that is a C. :)  So they are trying to scare the kids a little bit before going to Middle school and to just really think about every homework and every assignment because it's graded and therefore really matters.  His reading level is really high, I guess someone messed up and they gave all the kids last year a way too hard of a reading test but even then Kade did really well while most students took a bad hit on it.  And on the math tests he scores high all the time too, it's just those details he needs to be aware of and not rush with his assignments.  I'm really glad Kade got this particular teacher though.  He's a lot more strict than the other teachers but he says when his kids go to Middle school and were getting average grades in his class, they are on honor roll there.  All because he's teaching them they need to put the effort into a good grade, just knowing the subject doesn't make a good grade.  So I think this is so good for Kade and we've been talking about grades a lot because I want him to understand the importance of it and of working hard at everything.

It was a good night, I always like when there's tangible things we can do now to help our kids in areas they need it.  We got home and had Ehren's usual birthday pie - a chocolate almond mousse pie.  I only make it for his birthday or some special occasions so it means a lot to us and the kids when we have it.  Kind of like with certain Christmas goodies we only have once a year and somehow it makes it more special then.

a day off

It was a very quiet and relaxing day today.  Kids didn't have school and I was able to sleep in with them and take it easy.  Emily came for the day which was great because her, Anika and Kason played really nice together the whole time.  The weather forecast said it was going to rain sometime today so I was ready for an inside kind of day but it turned out so beautiful and warm.

All of a sudden I had a thought of taking pictures of Anika around our yard. :)  It doesn't happen very often that she's wearing one of her cute outfits when we're outside and that it's warm enough to be out there without a big jacket so I had to do it.  And right as I started shooting I was wishing we had a lens for our new camera because our little digital camera is at its last leg.  Maybe we can get one for Christmas and then I can start working on my photographic skills. :)

They are not the best pictures but they make me smile.  They make me think of a child's innocence and their carefree life.  And I love that they're of my Ani because she is our miss positive, always taking everything around her in with a smile and always so cheerful.  I am guessing the change is coming soon when the hormones will take over a bit or a lot :) but for now I am thankful for her smiles and the lessons she is teaching me.

   

Halloween

Kason and Anika have been waiting for days for halloween.  Mostly because they were going to have fun parties at school and of course get a ton of candy.  It was the first year where Kade didn't really want to dress up but he still wanted to come with us to see our neighbors and family so I told him he needs some costume.  So the only thing he could think of was a vampire and I had fun putting make up on him.  I'm usually not for anything scary but it is fun making someone look totally different like that and since it is his last year of halloween I didn't mind.  I have to say, the best part about trick or treating is visiting with some friends/family that we don't see every day.  We went to Ehren's coworker's house who just moved into their house 3 weeks ago and gave us a tour of their place.  It was great seeing a house that had all the original appliances/flooring etc. from 1950s.  Ehren and I like visiting with people more than trying to race from door to door to see how much candy our kids can get.  And so it got a bit later when we got done and Kason and Anika were pretty tired when we got home.  But they had a fun busy day for sure.  And bonus - there's no school tomorrow. :)

And oh, back to the High school subbing - the one period I taught today was a joke.  When I thought it couldn't get any easier, I came into the classroom and there was a college student sitting there.  She said she is student teaching this class and I just have to sit in the back and observe her because legally she can't teach the class without another teacher in the room.  It is kind of funny how you get paid for pretty much doing nothing and you get a laptop to go with it in case you're too bored. :) But, it is a good thing I went because I got asked to come back on Monday to sub for an English teacher.  Wonder what that class will be like, probably reading some books and working on more work sheets.

high school

Well, after my start at the Elementary and Middle school I got to experience subbing at the High school.  I could not believe how much they kept calling me, after being there one day they would ask me if I can come back the next day and next so now I've subbed there for 3 days straight and going back this afternoon.  I really thought out of all 3 schools I would get the least amount of calls for High school because I heard they have plenty of subs but instead it is looking pretty busy over there.

So far I subbed for Study Hall, Special Ed and Math there.  The study hall I expected to be very low key and pretty much just watching the kids.  The day seemed forever long because I just had to sit there, take attendance and make sure everyone is behaving.  They did give me a laptop so I was able to browse online which still didn't help me feel really bored.  A friend told me she just reads her books there which is probably the only thing I could do.  So in that sense, I really disliked subbing there just because of the lack of activity/tasks. 

But I thought maybe Special Ed would be different and definitely Math would.  Well, Special Ed was very much like study hall except there were only 8 kids per class at the most.  During one period I had to have the kids read out loud from a novel and that was an experience as they had trouble reading very simple words.  I know that's why they're in special ed class, but I didn't see anything wrong with any of those kids as far as having a learning disability or anything like that, it's more lacking the motivation to study.  On another hand I was glad that I had at least one task to do with the kids and make sure they understand what they're reading.  Otherwise the day was very slow again, just like study hall.

But surely Math would be a whole other story I thought.  I thought for sure I'd have to do something with the kids, explain stuff or anything but there were a bunch of handout sheets they had to complete and when they were done they had free time.  And they didn't need my help at all because they just all got their answers from the books or the smart kids and the teacher did say that it's ok for them to work together.  So it was another long day.  One thing that I was really surprised about was when the Math teacher wrote on my instructions to please encourage the kids to work on their work sheets but if they don't, it's not worth the fight. I had to laugh to myself at that because it just shows that they don't get after the kids much at all.  Sure, they eventually get bad grades because they didn't finish their work and stuff but it's just interesting that he doesn't expect the kids to do what he told them to.  I think all the classes did really great and most of them did the work, even if some of them just copied it from a friend.  It was supposed to be review for a test in a couple of days so I hope they know it by then. :)

High school kids are way different than Elementary and Middle school kids.  It was a bit intimidating to me at first just because they're so tall and grown up looking but really most of them are just kids inside big bodies :) and it helps to remember that when I talk to them.  I have to say I don't get as much enjoyment out of subbing there as I do in the Elementary school where I need to be engaged with the kids the whole time.  A friend of mine only subs there because she likes how low-key it is and she can just do her own thing usually, but for me it would be really hard to do that day after day.
Occasionally yes, it's nice to have a slow day but every day would be hard and I'd have to get creative with what to bring with me that I can work on.  But I really can't complain because at least they are calling me and it must be the easiest earned money ever.  I am going back there for one period this afternoon (they have 90 minute periods so it's a bit long) and have no idea what class it's for so we'll see.  It's nice getting more familiar with the school and their schedule too so I look like I know what I'm doing.:)

busy Monday

Well, my Monday took off to a busy but a really fun start of my week.  At 7am I got a call to see if I can sub today and I was beyond excited that they actually called me.  And it was even more exciting because I was going to sub for Kason's teacher in Kindergarten.  She comes to our church but I am not very close with her so I didn't want to ask her to request me before but she knew I was trying to get into the door to sub so I think she might have requested me. 

I had no idea what to expect in Kindergarten and even though I did figure it would be a busy day, it was nonstop action for me.  My legs actually hurt now as I'm sitting down from running around the classroom all day. :) It sure makes you appreciate all that teachers do.  At the same time it was so much fun and I really loved it.  There is a retired lady that comes and helps with art projects and stuff for a bit in the morning and afternoon which was a great help but I really loved being alone too so I could just get the feel for how it's done and to be in charge of 20 kids by myself.  They were really good kids and listened very well.  I really thought they would be bouncing off the walls at least once for me but they sat quietly during story time and went right to work on their projects/jobs.  It is crazy how every 5 minutes of the day is accounted for and the teacher had a very detailed schedule for me of what activity/task the kids are to do when.  So the whole morning I was frantically trying to get all the notes right so I didn't miss any assignment but it worked out great.  I had a couple 30-40 minute breaks, one for lunch and one for when the kids had gym and music lessons.  So at least that gave me time to recoup and figure out if I know what to do for the next few assignments.  The day practically flew by and I barely even ate anything all day.  At the very end of the day a secretary came in asking how I was holding on and that she was going to come earlier to see if I was going crazy yet. :) Another kindergarten teacher next door too popped in at the end saying if I needed anything to ask her but the one problem I had with the laptop speakers not working she couldn't figure out either. 

So it really felt like a big accomplishment, just being able to get all that done with 20 kids who I've never seen before.  By the end though I knew most of their names and they were so fun to talk to and so eager to show me stuff.  During recess I was so excited that I didn't have to go outside with the kids because it was freezing cold with a strong wind.  I had to cringe watching at least 5 kids put on their "jackets" that were basically sweat shirts with no hats or mittens and bare necks and I almost told them they had to stay inside.  I kept telling them over and over to please tell their parents to bring warm clothes to school tomorrow.  At the end of the day my job was to bring most of the kids outside where the school buses were lined up and to drop each child to the right bus.  There was about 18 buses in line but it was super organized, every class walking in single line in order of which kids go on which bus so even though I was really nervous I would lose some kids on the way to the buses, it went really well and they all got on safely. :) Phew!  I was able to breathe again.  But I loved it and I can see how for so many it is really rewarding working with kids, even though it's a lot more challenging and draining than working with adults.

Tomorrow Kade and I get up at 6am and head to Grand Forks for his orthodontist appointment.  I am actually looking forward to it because since he has 2 appointments with a couple of hours in between we can go have some breakfast at Panera (my favorite) that just opened up there. :) 



   

embracing it...

There were no calls this week at all.  On one hand it feels frustrating and I'm just waiting for the phone to ring and on another hand I know this is how it is at the beginning.  Everyone says it gets crazy later and after this week I really hope it does.  I finally e-mailed a volunteer coordinator at the school who I know will plug me in to volunteer at the Elementary school.  I already have a "job" next week.  Since I'm not subbing though, I might as well be productive and help in different classrooms or library and at least it gives me a chance to get to know more people there.

I started out this week feeling really down about it, especially because I feel guilty about not making any money and contributing to our family.  We are actually surprisingly fine without my income, except for the extra big expenses that come our way like filling up our propane tank for the winter or a big dental bill that's due which makes it pretty tight.  And that makes me worry about this or that happening. 

But yesterday as I was crying out to God it's like I could feel Him telling me "It's ok.  This is where I want you, this is where your kids need you.  I'll take care of you."  And I realized it is so true.  After all these years of daycare and me having a full-time job before that I am finally able to stay home and just focus on our home and our kids.  This morning when the kids were getting ready for school and it was quiet and peaceful I had to smile and it hit me.  This is how my life should be, I am supposed to be the nurturer of our kids and be there for them when they come home from school.  Just the last few weeks I can tell such a huge difference in how much calmer our house is.  I'm not the stressed out mom I know so well who yells at her kids all the time just because there's no time for anything.  Now I have the time to clean up the house, to bake something yummy for kids when they get home, to make a good dinner, to give the kids full attention and focus when they get home and that is just priceless to me right now.  Kids will grow up before we know it and I don't want them to remember having a crabby and stressed out mom when they most needed her.  Even though they're in school now they still need their mom very much, sometimes even more so in the preteen years which can be so lonely and confusing. 

So I decided I'm going to embrace this new stage.  Instead of pouting about nobody calling me to sub, I can find joy in providing a warm and loving home for our kids and for my husband to come home to, and I get to spend time with them and cherish the moments we have together like never before.  Yes, it is sacrificing some luxuries and being very strict with our budget but in the end, this is what matters most and is something no money can buy.  And my marriage and kids are worth all of it and more.

     

crafty Saturday

Today has been just awful outside.  It was windy, rainy and cold.  So what am I to do with a whole day at home and not expecting any company or anything?  I go to work on my pallet wood project! :) I love doing stuff like that but it usually takes me a while to start because once I start painting and visualizing how I want it to look like I cannot stop until it's done. 

So that is why today was so great because I was able to finish it all, only thanks to Ehren who kept the kids busy with projects and worked with Kason and Ani on writing/reading.  That was so helpful and I was able to get the whole thing done.  A lot of people have some kind of a sign of Joshua 24:15 at their house - "And as for me and my house we will serve the Lord."  I've been wanting one for a while now but I wanted it to be from me, made by me and not something I just buy somewhere.  And then once I got the pallet board pieces for it I thought why should I write it in English.  Everyone I know has it in English and that's ok, but I'm a Slovak and the only thing that made sense was writing it in Slovak.  I had a perfect spot for it too, a bare piece of wall in our main entrance.  So I went to town, first painting the wood pieces and then stenciling and hand writing the letters onto it.  It always takes longer than you think because to mix the colors just right takes me a while.  But I got it done and I really like how it turned out.  I'm not sure if I like it hanging on the hemp thread so eventually I might nail the pieces together somehow.

I also finished painting my Romans 12:2 painting this week since I wasn't subbing.  I like it but it does look like a kid painted it, which someone mentioned to me.  I've liked this idea for a while and finally painted it.  I like having this visual reminder in front of me because it is so easy to fall into the trap of following what everyone else around me is doing.  Just because they are doing it, eating it, buying it, doesn't mean I should.  It is actually the verse that our adult Sunday School group goes by and one of the leaders asked me if I can bring the painting to our Sunday school room because he'd love to have Christan kids' art like that around. :) I had to laugh because yes, it looks like a 9 year old drew it and could easily draw.  But it doesn't matter, it's just funny.

So I'm just thankful for a quiet Saturday where I was able to work on something for me, something that didn't involve cleaning, cooking, baking, entertaining, etc. :)  It is great to have a break from it all for one day.  Now I may just take a nice hot bath to finish the day off. :)

first day in Middle School

Well, after not subbing all week (I'm finding out it's not that easy for a new sub like me to get into the rotation) I was able to get into the Middle school today and it went way better than I would have imagined.  I was subbing for a science teacher who's also the head tennis coach and was gone all day at a tennis tournament.

The first thing I am always dying to know is how much stuff did the teacher leave for me to do with the kids.  When I got to school and checked in (I even got to check out a mac book for me to use for whatever) the secretary told me the teacher probably left stuff for me in his classroom.  I went into his room and it was only a few minutes before the first class came in so I was frantically looking for instructions, anything, at least the list of the classes but I couldn't see one thing anywhere around his computer.  Only after a couple minutes of me trying to look all over his desk I realized there was another desk right in the middle of the room and phew - all the instructions were there, with a couple videos to watch with 4 classes, some work sheet for one and even hand notes with what to do.  So the first and second periods of 8th and 7th graders were great and I did everything we were supposed to.  The third period my friend who I met in the hallway warned me about because this class consists of all the biggest trouble makers, behavioral issues kids that they just put into one class so the rest of the classes don't get distracted.  I thought it was a bit strange because this poor class doesn't stand a chance.  There's always someone that just decides to go against the rules, misbehave just because and the whole class keeps getting grounded for things.  I feel bad for some of the kids there that get labeled like that, they're in "that" class.  So there are 2 helpers in the room which was great because they are obviously used to the kids and got them to listen really well.  So since I had the help I almost felt like I didn't even need to be there.

Then another strange thing was that 2 of my periods were made up of 5-6 kids and that was the class I was supposed to teach.  When I asked them how come it's such a small class I got the same answer from both classes - "because we're stupid and can't be in the regular science class".  I'm not sure how exactly the school manages to separate the "slower" kids from "regular" kids but I guess that is how it's done there and it makes you sad when the kids are even calling themselves stupid.  But let me tell you, if those kids were behind the regular kids we may be in big trouble. :)  My 4th period was 6th grade science where we actually got to work on stuff so I was excited.  The work was on their brand new material - converting in the metric system.  I could not believe that was the first time those kids have heard of converting from a kilometer to centimeter.  Some got it down right away, but most of the kids had no clue which way to move the decimal points or even telling a centimeter and millimeter apart on the ruler and were just copying stuff from friends' sheets.  So that was a bit of a sad moment but truthfully I'm not surprised.  I guess you just hope your child gets into an advanced class because there they get at least somewhat challenged.

So my first experience in the Middle school went great.  Some people were telling me how they would never sub at the Middle school but I can't complain and have to say that even though you have some very energetic boys at that age, I really like that age.  You can have more of a conversation with them and they're usually very eager to talk just about anything.  Maybe I wouldn't like it if I was the regular teacher of those kids but subbing for them isn't bad at all. :)

Anika turns 7

Our Ani turned 7 yesterday and her party today finished off a really busy week.  She's been wanting to ride horses for a while so I asked Jess (my sister-in-law) if she could lead her horse for a few girls for Anika's party.  We had it all planned out but unfortunatelly it rained all day yesterday and pretty much all day today so there was no way we could ride horses.  Anika wasn't sad at all, she could not wait for her friends to come.  Her 4 girl cousins were coming and 3 other friends and Anika was so excited.  Of course, once her class mates and friends found out it was going to be her birthday they all asked Anika if they can be invited to her party and she felt really bad for saying no.  But the girls had a great time despite the rain and just played and played.  They all loved the pinata and after years of asking I finally let Anika get one. :)  Now she's having her 3 cousins sleep over in her room and they're so cute together.  Kade and Kason feel a bit left out because they don't really have any boy cousins to hang out with like that but I'm so glad for Anika.  Having a close girl cousin is such a gift and when you don't have a sister that relationship can mean so much.

Anika has been wanting "A very hungry caterpillar" cake

getting ready for a sleepover

And I am just pooped after this week.  I don't know if it is the 3 days in a row that I had to sub, or the stress from it, or having something going on every single night this week.  I really enjoyed subbing, just seeing so many grades every day was great because you really get the feel of how kids are in different grades.  I had kindergarten kids all the way to 5th grade for 50 minutes each.  By the end of the 3rd day though I was glad it was the last day because I ran out of ideas for games and things to do.  Yes, there is always the option of watching something but I only let the kids watch tv for the last few minutes if they were getting really loud.  One thing I told some teachers is how impressed I was with their classes.  For the most part they all behaved really well and listened to everything I said.  I totally thought they would give me some crap about not wanting to do this or that or not caring about what I had to say but that was not the case at all.  So just that was so great to see and gives me more confidence.  I also had 2 different 5th grade classes, neither of them was Kade's but there were a lot of his old class mates and I just love those kids.  I think they are such great kids, really interested in everything and really stick together.  So I don't know if it's because of Kade, but that grade was definitely my favorite.  And then Kindergarten and first grade kids were really great too, they didn't even peep and listened to me so well which I would never expect from their age.  So, it was a really great experience.  Subbing for one class all day will be totally different and might be more challenging but at the same time I'll have lots of tasks to do with the class so that would be nice instead of me trying to think of games that would work for 5th grade first 50 minutes and then games that would be good for 5 year olds.  On Friday was my last day as a music teacher and it was a short day too because the whole school was going to a homecoming parade in town after lunch.  So I had all the classes, but only for 30 minutes each.  I wanted to see how the kids would do with the wii because we have a dance game that Elementary age kids usually really like.  The thing is I only had 2 remotes for 25 kids.  So I split them up into 2 groups and for each song I picked one player from each team.  I told the other kids to keep doing the dance moves with the players since they can all see the tv.  One class was all really into it and they loved it.  Then the 5th graders had a few boys who thought it was dumb and said there's no way they're dancing but they were singing along at least a couple of the songs. :)  I think some of them were really surprised that I joined in and was dancing with the class but it made them want to try too.  So hopefully I'm not going to get called in the principal's office for using the wii, I just wanted to see if it's doable with that many kids and to see how they would like it.  And at least they were active and were singing.  :) I'm hoping I will get more calls now for subbing but you never know.  A lot of the teachers have their usual subs they like to request and only if they can't do it they will take whoever.  So we'll see what happens.  At least I got to be there and a lot of teachers saw me sub which is great.

           

subbing time

Well, I officially subbed for the first time today and it went pretty well.  I didn't know what to expect so I was a bit nervous this morning but the kids were really great.  I am subbing for the music teacher and have to do it again all day tomorrow and half a day on Friday.  Today was half a day also and I was so glad because it was a bit crazy.  I didn't realize there are no breaks whatsoever between my classes and when one class is leaving, another one is rushing into my room.  So towards the end I really had to go to the bathroom but I was stuck there and couldn't leave the kids alone.  I asked the music teacher at the end what she does about that and she said I have to just catch one of the teachers when they're dropping the class off and tell them to watch the kids for a bit.  And that is not always easy because those teachers are gone just like that. :)  So now I'll be better prepared for tomorrow.  Other than that though, the kids were great.  I had 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders today, each for 50 minutes.  I tried playing some games with them which was a bit challenging especially with the boys because they are boys and want to run around and have a turn every time. :) But really, they did great overall and listened well.  I had to start counting loud a few times (1,2,3) and I couldn't believe how quickly that worked.  They got quiet right away and I didn't even get to 3.  Towards the end of the class, when they were getting a bit restless and bored with the games I let them watch a video and color and they all seemed to like that.  I also didn't avoid kids getting hurt and 2 girls ended up crying because one boy threw a ball in one's head and one got bumped or something.  I'm guessing that's ok and it just happens when you have 25 kids in a small space playing physical games.

Tomorrow I get to have Anika's and Kason's class and they are so excited for that.  It is great to see the different kids in each class, different dynamics and get to know them a bit.   So, it was a good start and I'm so glad my friend asked for me to sub because it lets me see how that part of Elementary school is done.
  

a field trip

I survived my first 2 volleyball games last night!  It was a lot of fun and also more exercise than I thought it would be because I am sore all over today. :)  When I first got there it was a bit intimidating because probably 80% or more of those girls and women played volleyball somewhere and had their game faces on. :)  And this is the league that is not supposed to be too serious.  But then once we started playing it was a lot better and it seemed like they all just want to have fun and enjoy the game instead of being all about scoring and winning.  Our first game we only had 4 of us playing against 6 so that was a given we'd lose and none of us played together before that day.  The second game we lost a player who had to go home to her kids and so we played with 3 against 5.  And even though we didn't start out that great, we actually won.  I kind of wonder if we didn't play the worst team in the league though. :)  It was fun and a LOT of running around to cover the whole court.  So maybe that's partly why I'm so sore today.  Hopefully next time we'll have 5 or 6 players but that's how it is when our team is made up of all moms and not all of them have husbands available to take care of their kids.  I'm just so glad I get to play with someone who's into the game like I am but at the same time is nice when I mess up.  It's great to be doing something active together like that too.

Today I was gone all day on a field trip with Kade's class and there were about 60 ten year-olds from 3 classes.  It was very nice besides the fact that most of it was outside and it was a pretty cold day.  I was in charge of 9 kids and for some reason I always enjoy watching what these kids are like, how they interact, treat each other and stuff.  And I usually get more kick out of watching the girls, probably because they interact with each other way more than the boys do. :)  You can tell a lot about the kids by just seeing how they're dressed and what their outward behavior is like. 

I could not believe how many kids there were all about brand name shoes, sweatshirts and probably more.  For some reason Under Armour clothes are a big deal right now and I can't believe how many kids are wearing these $50 shirts which is more than I spend on mine.  It is probably a "necessity" for them when they go back to school.  On the other hand, there are a few kids that you can tell are from very poor homes.  I only noticed it because I had 2 girls like that in my group and I was told by the teacher that they will probably need my help taking notes.  One had pants 2 sizes too small and kept adjusting them so they weren't uncomfortable.  And the other girl had these boy sports pants on that were ripping very badly and a huge sweatshirt that looked like something an old woman would wear to work in the garden.  My heart just ached for these girls and I couldn't stop thinking how I just want to take them to a store and buy them some nicer clothes.  And how must they feel next to these girls that are all put together with their brand name clothes, perfect manicures and hair.  At least it seemed like they didn't care or notice and maybe it's because they've been around it since kindergarten and by now are used to not fitting in.  At one point, one of them just out of the blue hugged me tightly because she was cold, but somehow I wondered if there just isn't anyone to hug her back at home. 

During our lunch break a bunch of kids sat around eating together.  This girl close to me pulls out her sandwich and probably to be noticed or "funny" she says:"oh no, my mom made my sandwich all wrong!  She knows I hate it this way."  I look at her and it is just a regular ham and cheese sandwich.  I just said: "well, next time you better make your own sandwich then." I could not believe she would say that about her mom.  And a few minutes later I realized her mom was there helping out and was sitting pretty close to us too. :) I don't think she heard me though because she didn't hear her daughter either.  It is just interesting watching these kids and how much they are a window into their homes.  What a job it is to be a teacher, to have such responsibility of being a parent, caregiver, nurse, role model, educator and so much more to these kids.  I'm so grateful for wonderful teachers our kids have had.  I hope they know what an important job they have.

      

a crazy day

What a day it was yesterday.  I've been looking forward to it for a long time now because I was going to get together with my sister-in-law in Fargo and do some shopping with no kids which doesn't happen much.  We picked the day and marked it on our calendars.  My other sister-in-law was going to come with me which was going to be fun, especially having someone to ride and chat with.  But, in the end she couldn't take the time off from work so I was going to drive there alone.  No big deal, I've driven to Fargo too many times to count.  We would still have fun on our girls day out. :)

I said goodbye to our kids as I dropped them off at school and I went on my way.  Everything was going so smoothly, hardly any cars on the road.  I passed Grand Forks and pretty soon there was a construction zone which seems like never ends on that road.  I was driving slowly like you're supposed to and there was a big truck in front of me so I couldn't have gone faster anyway.  But the truck was so big and wide I couldn't see the narrow lanes and all of a sudden I see he's leading me into an exit.  I quickly stopped and so did the car following me there.  The lane I was supposed to be in was just a few feet away, with some dry gravel in between so I proceeded to drive across it onto the lane, just as the car behind me did.  But I saw something was wrong right away.  It felt like I ran over a small bump and right away the front tire went flat and I had to pull over.  The car following me just passed me like nothing, probably wondering what happened to me.  I pulled over, opened the door and my fear came true - the tire had a huge rip in it.  Of course, my spare tire was sitting in our garage at home.

So I sat down in the van and frantically started texting (that is because my phone was totally out of minutes and all I could do was text :)).  First I texted Ehren, who was just about to go for a blood test at work.  Then I was starting to text my sister-in-law when I see a guy come to the side of the van.  He was such a nice man and felt really bad about my tire and wanted to help.  He was heading towards Grand Forks so I just asked him to drop me off there so I can wait for my husband or someone.  He said he knew a pastor in Grand Forks and that maybe his wife could help me out which was so nice of him.  But I said I'll just wait because I was pretty sure Ehren would come fix it for me.

And he did, as soon as he could he left work, grabbed the spare tire and tools and we got the van to Grand Forks to get a new tire on.  It was very nice actually to have a little date in the middle of the week and even though it was a big bummer to not have some girl and shopping time, it worked out great and I could not even be upset because something so much worse could have happened.  Ehren and I laugh how almost every time I'm going out of town by myself something goes wrong with the van or something.  I don't know why that is and why nothing ever happens when I'm with Ehren.  Ehren even said he had a thought that morning how something was going to happen.  Now we might start expecting it, good thing I rarely drive far all by myself.

I got back just in time to pick the kids up from Ehren's parents house where the bus dropped them off and went straight to church to help serve our Wednesday night supper.  And by the time we got home around 8:30pm I was exhausted.  I think all that stress just wears you out. :)  I'm very glad for a very low-key day today other than my first 2 volleyball games tonight.

 

 

first sickness this school year

And the winner is Kason!  Yup, he is the first one that gets to stay home from school this year.  He had a bad diarrhea last night and it kept him up a lot and even though he seems fine I don't want him having it at school and I know he'll be tired too.  I probably haven't been happier to have a child home sick because I finally feel needed :) and it is so nice to not have to worry about taking time off from work to be with a sick child.  I'm a bit tired from all the interruptions to my sleep last night but having Kason home makes me happy.  Here I thought the kids were going to be attached to me when the school started but I'm finding out it is me who's attached and misses them while they're gone. :)

So after I wrote my post yesterday the kids came home from school telling me I wasn't on the sub list and have to call the school.  I could not believe it.  I made sure I called (and not just once) to be sure I was on the calling list.  But sure enough, the school's secretary was using an old list for some reason and when my friend who is a music teacher went to ask for me the secretary just told her I wasn't on the list.  I was so glad that my friend asked about it so quickly because I would have no idea I wasn't on there.  I called the person in charge who is not at the school and she once again said I was on the list, although she had my old phone number for me which I know I personally talked to her to get that updated.  Makes you wonder what these administrators do all day and missing something as important as having the subs' names and phone numbers in order.  Well, I'm glad I stayed on top of it and I hope I can still sub for my friend because she'll be gone for the whole week soon and it would be nice to get paid for 5 days.  Plus, when a music teacher is gone there's not much to do with the kids and they usually just watch a video so it would be very easy.  Kason and Anika both have this teacher so it would be fun to see their classes too.

   

life of a stay at home mom...

Well, I still haven't subbed anywhere but I guess it's like this until sometime in October.  I even called to make sure I was on the list because you never know. :) Some of my friends tell me to just enjoy it because it won't last long but I am finding out all this free time is harder than I thought.  It is definitely a glimpse into a life of a stay at home mom who doesn't homeschool. :) 

I do love all the quiet time I get in the day, that I'm able to get everything around the house done so that when the kids get home I can just focus on them.  And I can pretty much do anything I want during the day. :)  It is just not very easy for me to enjoy it for some reason.  I feel like there should be a purpose to having all this time, like I should be on a mission to do something so I've been thinking a little bit about that and how I could use my time for something good, to help friends or anything.  Sadly, a lot of friends just say "thanks" but don't let me know how I can help.  It's that Minnesota nice, people don't really take you seriously when you tell them you can help.  And I get their side too because it would be hard for me too to let someone do something for me that I should be capable of doing. :) So anyway, I am really looking forward to getting a first call to sub.  I talked to some teachers I know and they will try to ask for me to sub for them which will be nice. 

In the meantime, I am staying busy at least here at home.  Besides the cooking, baking, cleaning and organizing the closets, I started a new painting and have an idea for another one that will take a lot longer because I want to paint on some old wood that needs a lot of sanding.  I also joined a couple of Bible studies which I haven't been able to be part of the last several years so I'm very excited about that.  And my newest adventure is that I joined a women's volleyball team that plays in a league once a week and starts this week.  I always wanted to play volleyball with someone but all the people I knew liked playing volleyball already had their teams so I kind of gave up on it.  And just last week a woman I kind of know sent out a message about needing one player for their team.  Even though I don't really know the girls on the team, I thought I couldn't pass this by especially now when I have the time in the evening.  So I'm excited and nervous because I'm no volleyball player, just a competitive spirit that really likes to play it. :)  I'm thankful to God for bringing me opportunities like this to meet other women in our community.  It is hard to meet new people when you don't have a fulltime job since all the people I get together with are mostly from our church.  So I'm really looking forward to be able to be out there more and being available for whoever God brings into my life.  Instead of waiting for some of my friends to be available to me maybe I need to be available to someone out there who is longing for friendship or is desperately needing help.  Like that friend of a friend who recently went on 100% bed rest and has 2 little ones to take care of.        

first week of school

Well, the first week of school is done and it's gone really well.  I'm actually surprised at how much all the kids love it this year.  Kason who I thought would have a hard time adjusting to all day at school absolutely loves it and when I told the kids this morning tomorrow is Saturday and they get to stay home Kason was pretty disappointed because Kindergarten apparently is more fun. :)  Anika isn't quite as enthusiastic as Kason but she hasn't cried at all and is excited to go to school in the morning.  I'm so happy she gets to see Emily at recess for a bit at least because she really misses playing with her every day.  And Kade loves his first guy teacher.  He wasn't very happy when I pushed for him to get this teacher but now he's saying that he's probably the best teacher he's ever had.  So I'm really grateful for that and what a great Christian mentor to be for tween boys.  Kade's teacher is big into chess and I wish my brother Erik was here to give Kade some pointers because I suck at chess.  I got a set that comes with helpful cards for the beginners but I don't know what I'm doing.  I don't have a strategy, it's just thinking 2 steps ahead. :)  But hopefully Kade gets something more out of playing it in class.

And me, I am really enjoying the quiet house this week.  Even though I had a painful dentist appointment yesterday that took all day and I go again to my dentist in town today, other than that I've been able to get a lot done.  And I can't even describe how weird it feels to drop the kids off at school and go for a run in town just because I can.  :)  Really, I feel very guilty about being able to do it, like I don't deserve it, like I'm cheating somehow and that is how the rich moms live, not me.  But I also totally get those suburban moms now when they say they're the kids' taxi driver because that is what I'm beginning to feel like even though we don't have to drive such long distances.  Taking Anika to dance twice a week, Kade to football, every morning dropping them off at school and so on.  I am making the kids go on the bus home every day now because it saves me yet another trip to town and back and it saves some time to get things done too.  I still really enjoy my break from little people although I'm starting to get nervous too.  Nervous about having to sub and nervous that they won't call me enough and it will get hard for us financially.  So I pray for peace of mind and trusting that God has a plan in all this or He'll show me the way.

 

first day of school

The first day of school finally came and even though I thought I gave myself plenty of time in the morning, I was still frazzled and a bit stressed. :)  Of course, it is because I had to take pictures of the kids before we went and I had to do Anika's hair all nice, neither of which was necessary.  I was proud of my 1st day pictures though and sent them to Ehren so he'd be excited and all I got from him was "now we really need that new lense" :)  Yes, the time has come when our camera is refusing to take good pictures, zoom doesn't always work and sometimes there is a big blur in the middle of the picture due to someone (ok, it was me) dropping it on the gravel road.  Ehren already bought a nice camera from a friend but we need to get a lense for it.  I can't wait to take pictures with it.

Anyway, I get so stressed out about first day of ANYTHING and as I kept telling Kade how it's ok to be nervous and scared I think I was just saying that to myself because unlike last year he was just fine today.  All 3 kids got up all excited, Kason got dressed in 2 seconds and came into the kitchen looking like a true redneck :) so I sent him back to change into the clothes I got ready the night before.  Kason was just beyond excited to go to Kindergarten which surprised me a little because I was expecting him wanting to stay with me.  It was the first time I was able to drive the kids to school and I was so grateful for that.  Saying good bye didn't go totally smooth but I expected that.  Anika hugged me real tight and didn't want to let go at first.  But then I walked over to her desk with her and there was a coloring sheet to work on so it didn't take long at all before she's digging into her "task".  She loves getting tasks and she's such a hard worker at doing it the best she can.

Next, we went to Kason's classroom and I think he would have been fine if the whole class wasn't sitting in their seats all quiet as mice and all watched what Kason was going to do.  And out of all the things I think Kason hates the most when strange people are looking at him so he got his frowny face on right away and then covered his face with a paper so nobody could see him.  I was a bit worried about him crying or throwing a fit but I knew the best thing was to leave.

Walking away from the school was strange.  No more little kids holding my hand while I'm carrying another one, no more needing to watch out for kids around me as I was crossing the road.  I was still nervous for my children though.  Funny how some things don't change.  My mom would be the same exact way and now it's my turn to feel sick to my stomach when any of my children has to face a tough day, a big test, etc. :)

I had a lovely time with a friend after that and it was so nice to chat with her since I never get to visit with just her alone.  I don't even know how but the time flew by like nothing and when I got home it was almost noon.  I looked at the clock and thought "it can't be! I still have so much I want to get done in my alone time!" :)  It was heavenly to just sit down for a minute and hear - silence.  It was the best music to my ear.  I've been longing this summer to be still and quiet with nobody around and it finally happened.  I loved it and it was just what I needed today.  

And it turns out I didn't have to be all nervous for the kids.  They all did great and had a fun day at school.  Kason was talking 100 miles a minute when he saw me and Kade absolutely loves his new teacher which I'm so glad about.  It was a great start to our year and I'm really looking forward to having more family time in the evenings too.

Anika's and Emily's first ballet class

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It is finished...

My very last day of daycare was yesterday and I still can't believe it's happening.  No more baby gear around the house, no more diapers, wet wipes and toys I'd rather throw away.  And no more figuring out what to buy for all those snacks during the week, lunches and never ending dishes that go with it. :)

I really thought I'd be more sad when the day came and I was a bit sad to say good bye to Carson who I probably won't see again but mostly, I felt a relief.  This year has gone so slow, especially the summer with all the kids here so the excitement of being done was way bigger than the sadness I felt.  And a lot of it has to do with the fact that out of all the kids I watched I'm the closest to my 2 nieces and since they are basically our neighbors we will see them any time we want.  And I am very glad for that because our kids love playing with Emily and Aveah, especially Anika misses Emily after just not seeing her for a day.

So today I woke up and went straight to Anika's room where most of the play time occurs and organized all the toys and everything.  I got 2 garbage bags full of toys to throw away because I don't think anyone would want them even if I gave them away for free.  Then there are some nice wooden toys/puzzles that our kids have outgrown and I stored those.  Now I feel like I can breath in that room even though it was always picked up.  I went through some of the stuff in the boys room too but there is still a lot to store away so I'll have to get to that soon.  We also cleaned up the basement better and slowly we're getting our house back to just our family and not like we have 10 children living here. :)

School is about to start and I'm really looking forward to having more structure to our days again.  I pray that Kason and Anika don't cry the first few days but we'll see.  I know Kason will have a hard time being in school every day until 3pm, it gets to be a very long day for a 5 year old.  But I'm excited I'll be able to drive the kids to school so they don't have to get up so early to catch the bus and most days I'll pick them up too which will give us more time at home before bed time.  I'm hoping to volunteer in Ani's and Kason's classrooms too so I can see how their day goes and see how it's done before I have to sub.  With that, most of the time you have no idea you have to work until about 7:30 in the morning when the phone rings and they tell me I have to go to this school and sub for this teacher.  So it will be interesting and I just hope most of the time the teachers will leave good instructions for me.  I'm getting very nervous about it, especially going to High School where the kids seem so huge. :) I know I have to put a game face on and pretend I know the stuff they're doing but kind of hoping they'll give me a password to get online so I can google what I don't know. :)

So, it has been really great 4 and a half years or so that I did daycare.  Our kids loved having little buddies and they never complained about sharing their toys and things with them.  There were some hard times too, like when I had to take care of 2 babies while having 1 toddler and 3 preschoolers and those months were just a haze to me but I really can't complain.  I am thankful for the families I had because they were all very nice and their kids were great to take care of.  So, it's time to move on and I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me personally, finding out what I should focus my time and energy on and almost rediscover myself again.

Some of my favorite recent and old pictures:

last day of daycare treat