a tough lesson for a kid or a grown up

This week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me.  I have not spoken a word with the friend that is struggling with some relationships, mine included.  I just started to think that maybe after months of avoiding me, she'd be open to a conversation but that all disappeared this week.  I was a basket case for a couple of days but now I feel like I can finally see clearly and have peace about it and I am sure it is because of people praying for me.  Also, it is funny how tough situations work for good sometimes because this particular issue has brought us closer as a family and has shown me so much about my son.  It really was a gift to get a glimpse of Kade's tender heart that hides behind the outer shelf of pre-teen's hormones so many times. :)

Anyway, it started when Kade sent a facebook message to this particular friend.  He did it all on his own, didn't ask or didn't let me know he did it. :)  Truthfully, I was not surprised one bit because he's been questioning me if we'll ever be friends again and why she seems so mad when he sees her.  I never went too far with it and tried to say that it is up to them if they are willing to talk and work on healing in our relationship.

So our Kade writes her this letter and the only reason I found out was because I got a really nasty message from my friend saying how completely inappropriate and disrespectful that was and for Kade to even bring it up.  He is a child and it is none of his business.  She went on about how I'm hiding behind Kade because I am too afraid to say things directly to her and on and on it went.  It crushed me that she would say those things, but at the same time I had tears of pride in my eyes reading the short message Kade sent.  It was the sweetest and most innocent letter he could have written and in those few lines he showed an adult so much about friendship.

I don't think it's inappropriate to share it on here so here is what he said minus the names: "Hi ----, this is Kade. I understand that you and my mom aren't friends anymore. Which is hard because everybody in our family likes your family. I have been praying hard that you and my mom would become friends again. So far it hasn't been working but I know sometime in the future our family's will become friends again. Please will you forgive my mom. My dad likes to hangout with ----, Kason likes to play with ----, Me and Anika like to catch frogs with ---- and---- and now all of that is gone. Please forgive my mom, and these are all my words. My mom didn't tell me to say this or anything. Hope we can be friends again, Kade"

Every time I read it brings tears to my eyes because even at 11 he could see something was wrong.  He is so worried about his little friends and my friend that he would go directly to her, an adult.  I think that takes some guts to do that.  It was a pretty tough lesson for him to learn and I think he's still struggling with why she wouldn't understand.  We told him what he did was the right thing and I told him that I know God had the biggest smile on His face watching Kade share his heart with an adult.

As for my friend, we exchanged a few e-mails and she said she is done for good and can never write or talk to me again.  It hurts when someone just does not want to try but I have to remember that she is not well and cannot rationalize or even understand how to work thru a tiny hick-up in a friendship. It makes it really hard because all my friends are her friends and have no idea what happened or what is going on.  How do you even explain it to someone?  Hopefully, they can see from my actions how much I really care about them and that I never take any of my friendships lightly.


     

Spring

The Spring came to us a bit early this year!  Just saying those words makes me nervous though because out here we could be looking at a big snow storm at the end of April.  But the last week or so, almost all the snow has melted away quickly and we have tried to enjoy as much time outside as we could. That is probably the most fun thing about living here in the tundra - you get to watch everything and everyone around you "wake up" and almost like you're feeling the warmth and sunshine for the first time.  Everyone was outside the past few days and yesterday we even sat out on the deck for a bit until the sun went down.  We never get weather like that at the beginning of March and it sure is a treat for us and something you do not want to waste.  I have been taking walks outside during my lunch break while listening to my pandora stations and I really enjoy that.  It makes me think of my walking buddy I had in the Cities where I worked, just how precious that time was for me. For now it's just me by myself but my new boss joins me sometimes and we have great talks about our kids, life, work and everything in between.  She is great and I feel very blessed to be working for her.

I of course was watching the weather forecast like a hawk two weeks ago because I was determined to go skiing with the kids one time this winter and with the warmer weather coming that was fast closing in on us.  Last weekend I just looked at the closest skiing hill's web site and saw they had a special cheaper rate that Sunday afternoon so I told Ehren it is our only chance this year.  So we did it!  We packed up the kids and Kade's friend and went for it. I was able to schedule a first lesson for Kason and Anika since they have never skied before and I don't think I'm any good at teaching it.  I was surprised at how well they both did, the weather was perfect and we all had such a good time. Ehren didn't ski this time because we didn't know how long Kason and Anika would last but they both skied until the end. Kason was a little cruiser and had absolutely no fear which really helped him figure it out quickly. I was wishing we had more time to keep going with him but for the first time ever it was enough time.  Kade and his friend were having fun too and were just cruising down the hills by themselves so I was glad they had each other while I skied with Kason and Ani.  Growing up, we went skiing almost every winter and I forget just how much it is a part of my childhood and how much I miss it.  It is definitely one of the few things in life that I miss dearly from my home country.  Now I just have to suck it up, freeze and go cross country skiing instead of downhill. :)  It is very different but I am learning to enjoy it and pretend I'm in the mountains.

Tonight we had a fun little group date with 2 of our couples friends.  We went bowling and out for ice cream. It was just lovely to get together, leave the kids home (and without a sitter!) and enjoy some time out with friends.  Another thing that made me think how we need more of it in our lives.  It is so easy to get busy with our stuff and just blow friends off because it's too much work to find a time that works for everyone.  But I am realizing that making the effort of organizing, inviting people and doing stuff with them is so worth it.  One of those friends tonight just found out yesterday that the cancer she battled years ago is back.  It should be treatable but it is still a huge turmoil of emotions and why's.  I am the first one to admit that I always feel like I don't have the right words to say to the people around me, the right words to encourage or lift their spirits.  But sometimes you don't need words. Sometimes just being there is enough, being a friend and do normal things like a bowling date. Because none of us know how much time we have left here.