family time

I guess I'm in a writing mood today.  Kids just went to bed a little bit ago and Ehren is gone helping his brother with something.  I wanted to say a few words about what has been on my mind lately.  We live in this awfully over-scheduled society and no wonder we have no time to breathe.  Family Life Today had someone talk about this topic recently and as I listened to them I kept thinking that's exactly what I've been thinking about lately.  When you look at families regularly attending any church and how many of those families actually help in the church and get involved, it is a very sad picture.  Everyone has the same excuse too - we're just too busy.  Too busy doing what?  Running kids around for their sports activities?  Being on the computer or watching tv?  I am so guilty of a lot of things that waste time, number one is this computer.  I have to purposely turn the monitor off for a few hours and that way I give a lot more attention to everyone.  But what bothers me the most is how our kids start at a very young age being so over-scheduled.  Do they really need to be in everything available to them?  Are they going to be better people because of it?  I'm not going to lie, it is very tempting to fall into the trap of giving our children all our money can buy as far as education, sports and extra curricular activities but do they lose on something very important because of that?  Do they miss out on family time, on dealing with their emotional needs, on treasuring their most important relationships?  

I want to be purposeful when it comes to our time as a family.  Maybe it is partly because taking care of all the kids during the day when the evening comes I want us to be us as a family.  I love it when we have several nights in a row during the week when there's nothing going on.  And I understand you can't get that all the time.  You have to run errands some evenings, you have to go to some church meetings and activities, but I think if we're purposeful of our time it can be different.  This year I was very purposeful with one night a week.  Last year I helped with Awana on Wednesday nights which goes through the whole school year.  I helped with 3 and 4 year-olds which is very hard to do in the evenings when they're all a bit tired.  But I think it was extra hard on me because I was home alone with 5 little kids, 2 were babies, 5 days a week and on Wednesday nights I'd have to help with some more little kids.  It was just too much and I felt really stressed most of that year.  So this summer I said no more, with my job the way I am I cannot go to church after my work is done and spend more time with preschoolers.  It was a hard decision because for a long time our church could not find anyone willing to step up to do that, but I thought I'd rather our church not have anything for 3 and 4 yr olds than me not being able to handle my life and family well.  And I'm so glad I stood by my decision on that.  It has only been a few weeks of Awana but having one extra night a week where I can recharge, exercise or get groceries means so much to me.  Ehren and I might make some of those Wednesdays our date time too which is so hard to come by so I'm excited for that.  Sometimes, even if it's hard I think we have to make a decision that looks bad on the outside but is the right thing for your family so it can grow and stay together.  With the divorce rate higher than ever, it is not easy to keep our marriages and families strong but it has to be our priority after God or else nothing else will matter in the end.  I'm trying to be intentional this year about "filling up my tank" so that my family gets a happier mom and a happier wife.  Sometimes that means having my stay home mom friends come and have a play date with all the kids and enjoy fellowship when we can get it, or it means taking time for myself to work out or window shop, taking the time to blog and think out loud, taking time to play board games with our kids instead of watching a movie, going for walks as a family, having dinners together at home on most days, sitting down as a family before bed and just talk and laugh together, and so on.  I hope you can find ways to keep your family going strong.  Because our kids won't remember how many different sports they mastered, or how many kids they beat, but they will remember if their parents were there to listen when they were hurting, if their parents noticed that they really needed them in that one moment.  And I really don't want to miss that moment with our children.

twins

There was a time before I had any kids when I thought having twins would be so much fun.  And I have no doubt the people that have them love it.  But I feel like now I am getting a glimpse of what that is really like every step of the way.  I watch Carson and Aveah during the week who are less than a month apart.  Right now they are at 15 and 16 months old but I've watched them since 4 & 5 months old.  I have to say this fall seems so much easier than last year.  I am a lot more relaxed and sane most of the time :), things are a lot easier with them.  The hardest thing must have been giving them bottles all day long, twice because neither of them wanted to hold the bottle until quite a bit later.  And really that wouldn't be a big deal but when you have 3 other little kids to take care of and feed it gets to be a lot.  So I am so happy that right now I can feed all the kids at the same time, my babies as I call them eat almost everything we eat and they are happily entertained by the other kids and toys.  It is funny but every stage has its hard moments.  Right now I am dealing with a little bit of messes everywhere.  And it just dawned on me that if it's just one of them here you barely notice but you get both of them together and whatever one doesn't think of the other one will.  :)  Aveah likes splashing away in the toilet and with so many kids in the house it is pretty hard to keep the doors closed all the time, but we're doing better now after a couple pretty wet bathrooms and clothes.  They both enjoy taking out all the toys they can get into and the tinier pieces the better and somehow they can make our kids' rooms look like a tornado hit them in about 5 minutes.  And what's even better is stuff they can find and get into that are not toys. :)  It hasn't happened much luckily (other than my absolute favorite and most treasured vase that broke) because the house is pretty baby proof and I don't have much stuff out in the open.  I'm learning that even the little I have out I need to put away but that's the joys of double one year olds. :)  Our day is sure interesting with them around and it changes so much the older they get.  Now they love singing songs, rhymes, and reading simple books which is so nice to see from just a few months ago.

So I'm really glad God gave me this glimpse of the twins because no matter how cute they are, how attached to me they are and how much we all enjoy them, I sure am glad that they get to go home at the end of the day and they're also really excited to go to their moms and dads which is always fun for me to see.  But no matter how hard some days are, I have to say it doesn't even come close to working outside of home and not be there for our kids during the day or right after they come home from school.  I feel so blessed I am able to be there for them and even though it's so easy for me to say I wish I could just take care of our own children, when I look around me and see husbands and wives losing jobs and having to get out there and work full-time even if it's ripping their hearts apart, I remember what I have is so worth it.  And I believe it is good for our kids too, to know that our house is shared with these other kids, they are a part of our family when they are here.  They gain best friends to play with, they learn how to share easier and it is so fun to watch them really stand up for each other and take care of each other.

shock collar

Funny how some silly things can make you happy.  We have a dog named Charlie, a mix lab.  A very dumb dog if you ask me.  Can't learn any commands beyond "sit" and I pretty much gave up on him after a little while or a big while to me.  I think it is mainly because I miss how our first dog was, so smart and obedient from the start and it's just not fun to go from that to our new dog.  Charlie is pretty good with kids though, just loves anybody and as he's getting older he plays really well with them, with an occasional roughness.  Our kids love him too and they are entertained by him for hours some days which is great to see.  Kade is responsible for feeding him and our cat every day and I think it helps with feeling like this is his dog.  The main problem and I think the only problem we have with Charlie is that he keeps running away.    When we are not paying attention to him for a few minutes, there he goes on the road or across the field.  Mainly he just wants to go see the dogs of our 2 closest neighbors and he comes back after a little while.  I would have no problem with that but of course, we have to have one of those crazy neighbors and she said if the dog ever comes to their house again she's going to call the cops and shoot him too.  Wow, really?  The dog that wouldn't hurt a fly.  But whatever, I just feel bad for Charlie because that ended his days of free running around.  We tried the invisible fence and that didn't work at all.  He would just run through it, get shocked and then would be terrified to go back to the fence area after that which only encouraged him to run away as far from it as he could.  So now we have him chained up and just let him lose for a while when someone is with him, which really makes me feel bad but we haven't found a better solution so far.  Then about a couple of weeks ago Ehren and I were browsing thru the sports store and we came up to a shelf of dog shock collars.  We both thought, should we try this?  It is not a cheap thing so it wasn't easy but I thought let's give it a try.  Now, a few days after using it I feel like "why didn't we get this right away"?  I absolutely love this thing!  Finally, there is something that works when he's doing something bad.  If he tries to run after the school bus now, I just warn or shock him and he turns around.  If I go to the mail box Charlie would just go along and not just stay by me but would start running on the road ahead of me but now, with my remote in one hand I point to him and say "No, stay" and he just knows.  He actually stays back and doesn't try to follow us out there even without a shock.  I just can't say enough about my new toy.  It feels like we have a totally different dog.  He does have to get used to it more because after he does something bad like jumping on kids or going for the road and he gets shocked he gets all scared to do anything but I'm seeing he's getting better with that and is learning he can still do things after being shocked and when he's good we reward him.  I just feel good about Charlie being able to run around most of the day now without having to worry about where he ran now and did he visit the crazy neighbors.  So that is my story for today, the shock collar that put a smile to my face. I know, I am a pretty mean person taking joy out of someone's suffering and I bet there would be many animal rights people that would love to get after me but I don't care.  If it helps our dog have a better life with an occasional pain, I'm all for it.

our Fall walk with Charlie this weekend

Anika's 5th Birthday

Anika is turning 5 this coming Tuesday so we had a little girls' birthday party for her today.  She was so excited to have her own birthday party after seeing Kade having his with the boys.  She loved all the decorations we were putting up, the table we did, the goody bags we made for the girls, just such a little girl.  Since 4 of her girl cousins live close by right now we invited them, nana and 2 friends (sisters) from our church.  Ani doesn't know too many girls her age from church because most of the kids her age are boys so this worked out great.  We played a little nail polish game, made crowns and eatable necklaces.  The girls and our 2 boys were so excited the whole time that they just went from one thing to the next and they couldn't wait to do the next thing, so that was funny to watch.  After we were all done they also couldn't wait to play outside and they were playing princesses in the woods since they were all wearing their crowns.  Ehren just started to make a path for the kids in the woods this weekend and our kids just love the little trail he made so far.  So they were in there for quite a while.  It was a pretty lively and exciting party to say the least.  I think it was great and so fun to create memories like that for the kids.  Anika has been wanting real fish for a while and since dad said no to that (and I was only glad) I at least had to make a fish birthday cake for her.  I think it's not on her mind much anymore though and she wasn't sad at all she couldn't get the fish so that's good.  I am really happy that Ani's teacher has goldfish in their preschool classroom and she loves watching them there, so at least she gets them there.  By the time bedtime came tonight, all 3 kids were so ready to crash and so am I. :)

It is just hard to believe that our little Anika is growing up so fast and is 5 already.  She is becoming her own person and it is so interesting to watch her develop into a precious unique little girl.  I love that she is such a girl and loves all the girly things.  Her and Kason are such great buddies when it's just the 2 of them and I love watching them when they sit on the bed or couch together, Anika reading a book after book to Kason.  Or they will play mom and dad, trains, dolls and just seem to be so close.  I was trying to remember from my childhood if I ever did that with my brother Erik who I was the closest to.  All I remember from early years are the fights and chasing and our oldest brother Marcel who had to intervene and be in charge of us a lot (which reminds me a lot of how our Kade is) so I love seeing Ani and Kason getting along so well for the most part.  Ani loves taking care of him, she is just so natural at it which I don't think she gets from me. :)  She is also very independent, very much unlike Kade.  She could care less that she was leaving me behind when getting on the bus to her preschool.  On one hand it is sad to see she doesn't need me as much anymore but on the other hand I'm glad because I know she loves it and can't get enough of social interaction.  It is so different from how Kade was his first year of school, just shy and homesick, which he still gets like sometimes.  But our Ani is a little social butterfly, she feels best surrounded by kids and most of all she loves school and everything about school.  She's just such a blessing to us and brings so much to our little family.  I love my little girl and am so thankful that God let me have her in the midst of our 2 boys.  I just pray we can always be close, even through those tough teenage years.

yeah, lots of sweets but after all, it is for girls. :)

  

5k with Kade

In the light of my last post, I decided to run a 5k with Kade that happened today.  It is an annual run in our little Thief River Falls so it is a pretty small race with not very many participants, so a good chance to win. :)  Anyway, I like running the 10k which they have at the same time but with my not so regular running these past months I didn't want to just finish it and get a bad time.  It is funny because if I'm going to enter a race I have to do semi good ( that is semi good for me which means a good chance to beat my best time) or else I don't want to do it.  First, all races cost quite a bit of money and to me there is no point wasting money when I know I'll do horrible and I might as well run that on my own.  But that's just me, I know other people look at it differently.  So the thought hit me this week, that this is the perfect opportunity to run with Kade because I wouldn't feel bad that I missed my race and I can just do this for him and with him.  So I told him yesterday that we're going to do something fun together. :)  Truthfully, it started out with crying about it but later on he was telling nana that tomorrow he's running a race with me so I guess it didn't take him too much to convince him, I just had to give him some time.  He thought there is no way he could run the whole 5k (or 3.12 miles) but I kept encouraging him and telling him it's ok to walk some.  To my surprise he did awesome.  I had to tell him to slow down a few times but then at the end I thought maybe he was able to go faster.  He did walk a couple times but only for a few seconds and he was right back to running.  He passed 2 girls around his age (and the only kids under 11 that ran) and he was really pumped about that.  Then as we approached the finish line Ehren was standing there with Ani and Kason and Kade just ran hard at that point.  I had to almost sprint to catch up so I was right behind him when he crossed the finish.  It was so much fun to do it with Kade and to see how much confidence it gave him.  Of course, kids under 11 run for free and so they don't get any medals or even mentioning about how they did which I think is a bummer because kids like Kade would love to be acknowledged for the hard work they did.  So when he accepted the fact he won't be getting a medal he was telling me "mom, maybe you'll get a medal".  And I told him oh no, there were much faster ladies than me and maybe I could have gotten a medal if I tried running fast by myself, but I didn't care about the medal, I wanted to do it with Kade.  And sure enough, they call my age group and I got a 2nd place so I got a medal.  Unbelievable! :) Those faster ladies were all younger or running 10k.  But since Kade got a faster time than me I gave him my medal.  He so deserved it.  We made it together in 33 minutes and a few seconds which I think is really great for Kade's first 5k ever.   I personally would like to beat 22 minutes some day but the few races I run I usually do a longer distance so I don't know if I'll ever work on my 5ks again.  Maybe when I'm too old and limpy to run any longer. :) It was just an awesome experience to do it with my son and it meant so much more to me than a ton of races I've ran by myself.  I hope he'll really enjoy running as he gets older so we can continue to have our running times and racing times together.

Fall running

Yes, the Fall is finally here!  My brother Adam and his wife Slavka left this week (and there were some pretty sad kids in our house after that) and with them they took our warm weather.  Actually, I'm not complaining at all because this is my favorite season in Minnesota.  The trees are the most beautiful shades of yellow, red and brown (not yet though), the air is crispy and fresh, and we usually have more sunny days than not.  I think since I've lived here in MN I changed my attitude towards the Fall because from what I remember in Slovakia it was mostly gloomy and very rainy with occasional beautiful days.  But here most Falls are just beautiful and so appreciated after some hot and muggy days.  I think that my main reason for loving the Fall though is because of running.  I cannot compare running in the Fall to anything else, it is the most invigorating thing to me.  I just got done with my 4 mile run in the most beautiful Fall weather and it reminded me how much I missed it.  Sure, my run felt like a cripple trying to do it since I haven't done any running for a while but at the same time I loved it and was thankful for the occasional cars towards the end that made me straighten up so I would at least look like I have been running every day. :)  I loved the crispy air, the perfect temperature, the sunshine.  I used to laugh with some old colleagues about my need for a perfect temperature while running.  It couldn't get above 65 and below 10 Fahrenheit or about there.  I got it down to a few degrees and not that I couldn't run in warmer or cooler temperatures, it just wouldn't feel as good and I would have a hard time keeping my pace then.  So anyway, Fall temperatures are exactly my kind of temperatures for running - not too cold and not too warm.  I really hope I can get more organized with my time at home these few months so I can find the time for my running outside because the vicious winter is going to be here before we know it :) and that means being stuck with the treadmill for running.  It is funny how when there is something out of ordinary going on in my life, like my brother visiting us, the first thing that I let go off is my time to work out.  I wonder why that is and I always felt a little jealous of women who are always able to take that time for themselves, even when they have company staying with them.  I feel really guilty about it for some reason, but I shouldn't.  Because in the long run, it gives so much more back to me, better health, more confidence, better attitude with kids and my husband, and some precious time to think, to daydream, to pray.  So my tiny resolution for this Fall is to find more time for me to work out and run because it is what I need and it is what my lovelies need from me.

The school is here!

And so the long awaited school year finally came.  Kade started 3rd grade and Anika preschool.  It was a bit of a rough start since we missed the official first day of school being on our little trip and the next day Kade got a croup cough so he had to stay home.  That day Ehren just took Anika to school by herself.  The next day Kade was all ready to go to school and had so much fun there.  It was the first year he wasn't homesick on the first day and came home excited saying "I didn't even cry one bit mom!"  My boy is sure growing up, he needs me less and less every day it seems like.  Anika loves school and was so ready to go.  She really is almost the age of other kindergarten kids but she misses the Sept 1st cut-off so that's really why she really loves it and it doesn't even faze her that she's away from home.  The school is having major problems with their busing though and my poor Ani was on the bus for almost 2 hours the first day.  Today I'm going to pick her up because of that and even though the teacher was saying how they're going to work it out, I don't think I want to wait until they try to do the changes and will just keep picking her up.  The bus is on time and doesn't take long in the morning at all, just after preschool is over.

So today was the first day when Kade and Ani went on the bus together and they were so cute.  Kade loves to take care of Anika when he's on his own, he likes to be in charge and be the responsible one.  That love is not shown as much when we're home :) but at least I know he is good with her when I'm not there.  Poor Kason was so hurt this morning though and when I tried to tell him I'll be right back in the house after the bus leaves he insisted he's going with us to the driveway in his pyjamas.  He was excited for a while about the bus coming and then when he started to realize they're going on the bus and he has to stay home he got really upset.  He just cried and cried that he wanted to go on the bus.  The funny thing is that I know he'd do just fine in a preschool on his own, he's so ready but he will have to wait until he's 4.  I am pretty sure he'll be crying about going to school next year on the days there is no preschool because it is only 3 times a week.  I am really glad his cousin Emily comes to our house on the days Ani goes to preschool because they play really well together and he doesn't feel alone.  But at the same time I think he does like a little time alone with me because he gets so much more of my attention, playing with him and doing things with him that he doesn't get when all the kids are at our house.  They're all just growing up so fast, it is hard to believe it sometimes.

Ani's first day

in her classroom

she loves the goldfish

Kade and Ani ready to get on the bus together for the 1st time

Kason would not leave their side

instead of helping Ani get up there here I am, taking pictures

and they're gone

  

Adam and Slavka

It is a historic moment for me right now because my brother Adam and his wife Slavka came to visit us.  He's the second brother that made it over here.  They rented a car in DC where Slavka's sister lives and drove all the way here.  They will stay with us for a few more days and will drive all the way back to DC.  It was really strange (and nice) having them drive to our house on a regular Friday night because every time any member of my family comes to visit we have to make a trip to the airport, at least 2 hours away.  And we've just been having such a nice time with them.  Our kids love playing with Adam and Slavka because they understand and talk in English and Ani especially has been so goofy with them.  They're just really enjoying their company.  And we are too.  I know Ehren loves visiting with them because it's so easy to talk to them and he's really enjoyed getting to know both of them.  So a part of their stay with us we wanted to show them something more beautiful than TRF (because in my mind you cannot fly thousands of miles and all you see is TRF :)) and what could be a better place than Duluth and the North Shore?  Ehren and I love going there in the fall and since they are here now we went a bit earlier but it was such a nice trip.  The weather was so gorgeous in comparison to the times we went before where in October we had to wear hats and mittens because it was too cold.  The kids loved it too and they were all able to do the little hikes with us.  By the end, we were running out of time and food so we decided to head home even though Ehren and I wanted to keep going and look at more places.  We decided from now on we need to make it a priority for our family to go every year and experience a new hiking place each time.  I have to say it's the most beautiful place in Minnesota and it feels like you're in the hills and at the ocean at the same time.  After we got home, Adam and Slavka have been cruising our neighborhood, doing some geocaching, playing with the kids and so on.  I'm so glad the weather has been just beautiful and warm for their trip and it is supposed to cool down right as they will be heading back.  Here are a bunch of pictures so far but I might put more on here from our busy weekend ahead with the Hanson family and church friends.

eating their chocolate eggs from babka

playing lots of fun games together

we went to the cabin for one night before heading up to Duluth

Kason got a ride on this motorcycle and just loved it

Kade was wondering if we could find gold in this creek because of the color :)