bad mom moment

I had one of those "bad mom" moments today.  We've been having a great Thanksgiving weekend in the Cities at Ehren's aunt's family.  We did a little shopping, kids went swimming, sledding, we watched some Christmas movies, laughed, visited with relatives and this afternoon we had some BIG plans. :)  Ehren and I thought we would take our kids to the Holidazzle parade, which they've never been to.  It is pretty much a lights show parade with Christmas and different fairy tale characters.  Then I had an idea to leave early and take the kids to the Macy's santa land which is right by there.  It is just a cute area decorated as life of elfs.  I knew it wouldn't be anything huge but something to go do - well, I'm not so sure it was really worth it.  We get there and all we see is a forever winding line of people.  We're not even sure what we're all waiting for, but we stand in line and I got another glimpse of why we're never going to Disney World. :)  Our kids can't even handle standing in line for 30 minutes.  Kason is rolling on the ground, sitting down and just acting really tired 5 minutes into waiting. :) But we made it to the Santa Land and it was cute to see all the little details in each room of an elf's life.  Afterwards we grabbed a quick bite to eat and even though we still had an hour before the parade started people were starting to save their spots along the road so we made our way there.

By that time Kason started to get really tired and something made him really upset and neither Ehren or I could make him stop whaling.  Finally, I sat down on the curb of the road with him in my lap and tried calming him down but nothing worked.  And that's when my bad mommy moment happened.  As I'm trying to calm the loud crying Kason I see another little police petrol car zooming in the middle of the road, right in front of us and what do I hear myself say?  "Kason, look there is a policeman and he's looking for all the kids that are crying and he's going to take you away if you don't stop."  I know, some things that come out of our mouths!  Actually, I was expecting him to not care at all but it worked like a charm and he calmed right down and was a sweet boy after that, besides being really cold.  But, I actually said it louder than I thought and at least 2-3 different parents heard me.  A lady next to us with 3 boys was sympathetic and said to me:"desperate times call for desperate measures" and that's really how I felt.

We then enjoyed the whole parade and kids loved looking at all the lit up floats and people.  On the way home though, I felt pretty bad about what I said especially because Kason is our little guy who really thinks about stuff that is said and happens and takes it to heart.  So I told him I was sorry I lied and that police men are here to protect us and keep us safe and would never take him away.  He seemed ok with that and agreed with me that that made a lot more sense then police taking crying kids away. :)
 
So, I learned a lesson today and even though you'd probably think I would learn to react more patiently or not to say stuff I didn't think thru, I think my real lesson is that it's ok to mess up but the important thing is to make it right.  To say "sorry, I made a mistake" because little kids especially understand what it's like to do something bad or naughty and they are more than eager to forgive us.  And to be honest, it doesn't come easily to me to say "I messed up here, I should not have said that, please forgive me" so today was a great reminder to me how important it is for our kids because that is how they know they are loved.  And letting them know we are just sinful humans doesn't make them love or respect us any less, it is just the opposite.

I'm also really glad there is certain Someone that loves me just the way I am.  With all the ugly and bad and sinful, He thinks I am perfect.  And the thought that He would leave the riches of the Heavens and the status that belonged to Him to become a nobody on this Earth just for me and us, is unimaginable.  I want to really think about that this Advent season and remember what Christmas means to me and what it should mean to all of us.  

at Santa village

crafts

I would never call myself a crafty person. I know a few and I'm pretty sure I'm not one of them.  Even crafts with kids drive me nuts because I hate the mess that comes with it and when we do something more times than not I just take over and do it for the kids because I can't watch them mess it up. :)  I know, it's terrible of me.  I have to say I like to do SIMPLE crafts that look nice at the end but don't require a trip to Grand Forks to purchase a bunch of crafty materials and stuff.  So I do some crafts with kids, but in my eyes it's pretty pathetic.  I've always hated cutting and folding or hand sewing which kind of made me think I have no artistic bone in me.  But as I've grown older I'm realizing I do have an artistic side to me.  I may not have the creativity to come up with a totally new concept, but when I get inspired by something, I want to make it right away and I want to make it into my piece.  That's why I like painting because even though it doesn't have a retail value or is not painted by a famous artist, it is mine and I did it.  It means a lot more to me than something for the house I would buy in a store.

This week I had a new inspiration and I was not going to be content until I finished it. :) It is really funny how it is for me.  Whenever I start working on a big craft/painting it is all I think about and can't sit down or do anything else until it's done.  And of course, daily things (like feeding my children :)) make me leave it sometimes but even when I do, I keep thinking about my next step with it.  So today, I worked and worked on this stick Christmas tree that I had in my head (after I saw a picture of a similar one) for the past week.  The whole thing didn't take very long at all but then I had an idea to cut out little snow flakes with the names of all my daycare kids.  I didn't think it would be that tedious but it took way longer than making the tree, probably because like I said earlier, I hate cutting. :)  But, I have to say I love how it turned out.  I really enjoy natural pieces like wood,stone and stuff in the house so it was a no brainer.  And I found a perfect place for it.  In our kitchen we have a blank wall spot and it is the first thing we see when we come inside through the mud room.  It is the perfect spot for it, especially as we're getting closer to Advent time and I am looking forward to coming home and seeing my stick tree.  It was funny because when I started making it I asked Kason and Anika what they thought it would be.  I said it's something to do with Christmas, but all they saw was a triangle. There was no star yet but I still saw a Christmas tree.  Ehren wasn't so sure about it either but he likes it when I get into something like that.  When I said it is supposed to be a Christmas tree, Kason and Anika both thought it was cool and when they got their names on it that was the best ever. :)

So all in all, it was a great day.  I love Saturdays when there is absolutely nothing planned for us and I don't even have to leave the house.  We actually played outside quite a bit as I was looking for my sticks :) because I couldn't miss such a beautiful and warm day in November and just be inside all day.  I really, really hope this winter will be mild, it would be lovely.

a milestone

A few days ago we celebrated Ehren's birthday.  He turned the big 40.  When you say 40 it sounds pretty old, like it's really far for us to be in 40s but the years fly by so quick it comes before you know it. :)  I still have a few years before I get there which I'm glad because I'm not quite ready to join the 40 club yet.  But it fits Ehren.  His hair is graying more and more as he's getting older but it looks very nice on him. :)  I think if it was me turning 40 I would not be too excited but since it's him, it is great.  We were also able to spend a weekend alone at his parents' cabin and it was a very nice time, especially the quietness when it was just us.   We just don't get many times like that and in this hectic life we live in, it is great to just stop for a minute and be still.  And without the kids sometimes. :)

Recently, Ehren had a pretty big disappointment at work when he was applying for his boss's job.  His boss was moving to a different department and she was looking for someone to replace her.  Out of the applicants that applied Ehren felt really confident about it and his boss even gave him some hope that he would get it but then the VPs got involved in the decision and picked a guy who didn't apply and who is not even a people person, just does whatever he's asked to.  He won't rock the boat at all and that's the way they like it.  And Ehren likes to come up with ways to do his job more efficiently and thus change some things which some people higher up don't like.  But that's the way it goes in a lot of places, even churches as I'm finding out. :)  It was hard on Ehren but he had to realize his job is not who he is and there are far more important things he has in his life, 4 of them at home.  He's still grateful to have a job because it is a big blessing in this economy and he's done really great there but that's not what defines him.  He's been trying to find the best way to use his gifts and abilities at our church and it's just nice to see him maturing in that.  It can be very frustrating because there are many needs at church and to find the balance between that, our marriage, family and everything is not easy.  But we do what we can with God's help.

I like how the longer we're married the closer we are and it's so nice to have this man by my side.  As we're getting older, it just feels right and I'm actually looking forward to growing old with Ehren, if we're both here that long.  It's funny because we have not even been married that long and yet it already starts to feel like we're one of those old couples, totally dependent on each other. :) I'm guessing it will only get more so as the years are piling on.  But at the same time, I'm so grateful that our hope is in Someone else and no loss in this life, no pain or hardship can take it away.
 

teeth stink

That's my summary for today. :)  Why can't we just be born with perfect teeth?  Or semi-perfect.  I am probably repeating myself but our family is doomed in the teeth area. :)  I am not even done with getting my front teeth fixed and we're starting a new chapter - orthodontist appointments for Kade.

Today was our first visit and while the orthodontist did say Kade has a bit of time left, his mouth is way too narrow and will need 12 months or so of lower and upper braces that pretty much just make his teeth lines wider so when he's about 12 years old there will be enough room for all the permanent teeth.  The money part of it bites, but is not horrible and I would even be ok with the appointments, if they were in our town.  What really stinks is that we have to go to Grand Forks every 3 weeks, for 10 minute check-ups during regular business hours.  So right now, my biggest concern is how to make it work with our schedule because it is more complicated with me watching other kids here.  I know it will work out, I just want to complain to someone I guess. :)  All 3 kids inherited my tiny mouth while Ehren has a nice big jaw they could have had, isn't that how it always goes? :)  

This happened just a day after my appointment with a new chiropractor.  I went there with a bad shoulder pain but he pretty much assessed that my whole back is out of whack and will need 3 months of appointments with him.  I did like how he looks at your posture and can tell what is wrong just from that.  I thought my posture wasn't that bad, but from a side view, it is all crooked.  It gave me an idea to bring Anika there too because I always thought her posture has been really strange.  Well, when I thought my picture showed a pretty crooked back, Anika's was way out of line from what it should be.  He says that kids respond to the back adjustments a lot quicker than adults so now it is our girls night out to go to the chiropractor.  Whoo-pie!  I mean that sarcastically, of course. :)  I really just want to stay home and do nothing with my family in the evenings so it's hard to have something going on every night but I really want to see if it helps Ani's posture.  I am still half skeptical of chiropractics and I am not going to turn into one of those hypochondriacs who go to a chiropractor every day for something.  So I'm giving him 3 months and then I'm done.  Plus, how come I feel like I've been beaten up after every adjustment? :)

I guess God is just teaching me how to be really organized with my time and to be able to manage everything I need to.  And I am very thankful in the midst of this that I am able to stay home right now so I have more time for simple things like laundry, cooking, baking and stuff and I have absolutely no idea how the full-time working moms do those things.

Here are some pictures from Halloween last night.  The kids had fun and it was pretty quick because they got a ton of candy right away.  Kason was a Hulk and it fits his personality perfectly.  He is our little hulk sometimes and even does that "roar". :)  They love going to nana and papa's house, aunt Judith's and some neighbors. Kason did not disappoint with his bluntness and when we got to see great aunt Judith she was just getting up from a little nap and he asked her "how come you look like you're going to die?"  I was relieved she didn't think anything of it and just replied to him that she was sleeping so that's probably why. :)