live and learn

Well, it has been a while again.  It is just hard to find time to sit down and write when stuff all around me is screaming at me to come and finish up, clean up, pick up.  But with Christmas right around the corner my heart is longing for the peace, to just sit and be quiet, to rest in Him and to recharge.  I forget how much writing stuff down helps me to do just that and to put things into perspective.

It has been a very busy Fall with me working and kids in sports.  Kason did 3 months of Tae Kwan Do and he loved it.  It was a trial to see if he would enjoy it and he surprised me because he did not

want it to end and is still sad about it.  I kept reminding him as it was getting close to the belt testing that no matter what, when that's done we will take a break from TKD.  The big thing is how expensive it is and costs way more than any other activity the kids are doing and he understands that.  But more than that, I need more time at home in the evenings and it will help a lot with that.  More than anything, I never want to become one of those over scheduled families that live their life on the go but in the process don't know what family is.  And yet, many days I feel like that's just what our life is.  I feel like I can never catch up no matter how much I try and I'm always behind on something like laundry, running out of ideas for meals that take less than 20 minutes, and the stress of life on top of that.  Talking with some good mom friends, we have all been feeling that way and I don't know if holidays make it worse somehow but we're all just craving the quiet and peace.

Recently I read a post online from someone.  It was a grown man describing his mom that passed away recently.  He was saying how even though he loved her very much, there was always a hardness about her, you could feel her anxiety and anger in the house and she was always rushing to get something done, get ready to go and stuff.  And as he was looking at a picture of her as a little girl he felt sad because he knew that little girl did not want to grow up to be a ball of anxiety until she died.  For some reason, reading it hit me really hard because I am that girl.  It is so hard for me to see past the "stuff" around me that needs to get done right now that I don't see the little boy who just wants a hug from his mom and her taking 10 minutes to really listen and show him she cares. I feel like there are so many missed moments in my life because of the stupid need to try to do it all, to keep up with so and so, and to be seen as having it all together.  So right now, I just want to be there.  Be present and available.  I say that now but when it's a stressful morning, we're already few minutes behind schedule and Kason is missing gloves or a hat for the 100th time, it is overwhelmingly hard to "be there" for him. :)  So I pray I can get better at it and can remember the Grace daily.

Next week is Christmas and this year more than anything I am looking forward to some much needed rest and family time.  It will be quiet and wonderful. I am actually looking forward to some baking this weekend and just enjoying our home and our family.  My mom has always worked so hard to make our Christmases special and it had nothing to do with gifts which they couldn't afford.  And now I want to give that to our kids so that one day they will remember the special times and will want that for their kids.   I have been blessed by so much even though I don't deserve any of it. I desire to be humble and thankful and filled with God's joy, grace and peace.  He is the only one that can give that to me.  And I pray that you have a very Blessed and Quiet Christmas wherever you are!       

      

the new beginning

I'm guessing a new post is in order to say a few words about how the new job at Edward Jones is going.  This week was my first "full" week at work and I'm not gonna lie, it's an adjustment just getting used to the working schedule and not being home to take care of the house, meals, run errands, etc.  But I have to say it is nice working 8-4 and being able to bring the kids to school and getting home just shortly after they come home off the bus.  For now I'm working 4 days a week but I am really thinking about going full-time starting in February for several different reasons.  They really need a full-time employee about then so if I decide to stay part-time I'd have to be a substitute and work for all 4 branches in our town which doesn't sound as good.  Also, working fulltime I'd get a lot better benefits and better pay.  So for now, it is nice to work almost full 4 days to see how I can handle it and to see if it's too much. 

So far it's been ok and my busyness is not so much from working but from having 2 kids to do homework with every day. :)  Kade does his on his own, but now it is Kason and Ani to do their homework, work on spelling and reading every night and on the days we have something going on it can be pretty stressful.  But we just have to get into a routine and it will be ok.  Another big transition is getting myself ready. :)  It is funny, but it's been so long since I had to dress up for work every day and it's not fun for me.  Until now I just had to worry about one nice outfit per week which would be for church but now it is almost every day and it's not easy when most of my outfits include jeans which are never allowed at work.  When I was subbing I was at least able to wear jeans and anything so I feel like my wardrobe just shrunk by a lot. :)

The work itself is going great, it is a lot to absorb and learn but it is really nice that I worked in the financial planning firm before and it is all coming back to me.  Of course, they do every procedure very differently, using totally different system, so there's a lot of training and learning but it's going well.  The days fly by very quickly which is nice and the people there are very nice too.  In comparison to any other place I worked at, this office is very quiet because it is only 4 of us there so that is one difference but it is still plenty busy.  I really like how flexible they are with me and how understanding they are about taking time off or leaving early if I need to go get the kids and that's the only reason working full-time doesn't seem so bad.  But I'll have to see how it all goes when I'm there a little bit longer.

All in all, I feel very blessed to have this opportunity just fall in my lap, quite literally.  I would have never imagined I could find a job like this here in TRF and I hope I'm able to do a good job there.  Ehren has been great too and very supportive which is so helpful.  He too has to adapt to me working and not being able to do everything I was doing before so it is a change for all of us.  But no matter how hard some days are, I believe this is where God wants me right now and it will work out.  I am also thankful to Him for an opportunity to get to know people outside my little circle of church/school mom friends and hopefully be able to reach out to them in the near future.







 
  

I'm back

Well, the summer is over and I've managed to go the whole summer without a blog post. :)  We had a really good summer filled with friends, swimming, cabin, family get togethers and even if we didn't go on any trips as a family it went by really fast.  I think I personally was holding on to every day and trying to really enjoy it because the busy life was going to start way too soon.

In the middle of July I got a lead on a job at Edward Jones which was just incredible how it all happened because I was not expecting it or even looking for a job.  I was going to be perfectly happy with subbing again this school year but then an opportunity presented to work in the Financial Advising business again and I was very excited about it.  The advisor I would work for talked to me about it right away and he needed someone to start in the middle of August to replace his assistant but all the hiring for EJ comes directly from the main office and is the slowest hiring process I have ever seen in my life.  So, here I am still waiting to see when I could start but this time we're a lot closer because I have sent them my fingerprints from the police station last week and that is the last step before the background check is complete and they can officially hire me.  So it is still not definite which is very hard to chew on or plan/not to plan for but I should know within 2 weeks.  It sounds great in that I would start part time and see how I like it and if it is something I see myself doing, in January/February it may turn into a fulltime position.

In the meantime, I am still on the substitute teachers list and it is funny how when it rains it pours.  Here I was thinking I would not even hear from the school the first 2 months like last year but I already got multiple phone calls to sub.  Today was my first day at the Middle school and next week I'm subbing the whole week at the Elementary school.  It is a huge blessing but it kind of makes me smile that it comes right as I'm about to leave the subbing job.  But, I knew it was going to be just a temporary job for me, it is very stressful to be in a new class every time and to wake up and not know if I would get called in and for what school.  So as far as that goes, I would for sure choose a steady job over that.  But I have no idea what EJ might bring and if I'll like it there.  I know they are unbelievably busy which I like but every office is different and has its ups and downs.

But what I am so thankful for is that God has given me such peace about the whole thing.  He practically dropped this in my lap out of nowhere and even though it sounds very exciting, it's like the first time in my life I feel a great sense of peace about the whole thing, knowing that whatever happens will be good because God is in control.  If it doesn't work out, the subbing will be just fine for another year.

Yet with all that hanging in the air about when I would start, I think it made me just really slow down the last couple weeks or so and just enjoy the quiet of our home, the sleeping in, the time with our kids and the stuff that can be really taken for granted.  I felt guilty once in a while and like I was very lazy but at the same time a voice inside was telling me "you need this right now, it may be the last summer like this."  So I'm not sorry about it and now I feel ready to tackle the business of working, managing our home, kids' activities and all that even though it makes me nervous too.  I know it will be a transition, especially as far as managing the home, how I plan and cook dinners and lots of other things.

This week the kids started school.  I was mostly nervous for Kade going on to Middle school but he seems to be doing really well.  He loves the school, his teachers and how he gets to see so many of his buddies in different classes.  I was hoping he'd like it but I didn't think he would be quite as excited and every day he talks and talks to me about all the stuff that happened at school which I don't think he's ever done before.  I am so thankful for that and want to just enjoy those moments while they last.

Kason and Anika had a good start too, they both love their teachers.  Kason was all ready to go the first day and there's never even a hint of "I'll miss you" :).  He's always ready to tackle the world.  He already brought home some Math homework and peeking at it I really hope the teacher has something more challenging for him at school because that almost seems like a silly homework to give him who can easily do 2nd grade Math.   And Anika is her shy little self, I think it will take her a while to open up again in a new class with different kids.  She would not even look at her teacher when we got there the first day.  She also just got her new glasses (I guess her vision was way worse than we thought) but she's having a bit of a hard time adjusting to them.  She keeps saying how they don't make her see better, that she can see better without them and just doesn't like them but she's been great about keeping them on during the day.  So I'm hoping it is doing something and when we go in for a check-up they can make sure they're working for her.

So, off we go into our Fall routine of school, sports, church, youth group and hopefully a new job to start soon.  It sure feels like we're entering a whole new season of our life as a family and more than ever we're being conscious of putting our family first and planning nights to have just for us.

15th anniversary and a long post to go with that number

It seems like a long time when you say you have been married for 15 years and yet for some reason it went by so fast.  So much has happened since we said "I do", so much we have gone through together and so much we have learned.  And yet, the learning part never ends and that is what I'd like to take away from this year.  Sometimes it's easy to say I'd like to have what that couple has or that one but we don't see the struggles they have behind closed doors.  Everyone has their share of stuff and it's up to them if they are going to wake up each day and choose to love their spouse through it, choose to grow and choose to follow Christ.  I am excited and nervous to begin this next chapter of our life, when the kids are becoming more independent, when we have more time for each other and are getting older, money is always disappearing and parenting turned (what seems like overnight) from diapers and naps to having those talks about sex, dating and marriage.

So anyway, we decided we would take a special trip for this anniversary and we both loved the idea of driving around some of the Northern California, where we've never been.  We were gone for a week and I am so glad we did it because it was the first time since having kids when both of us left them for that long.  We love exploring new places together, even if it can be stressful sometimes, but in the end it brings us closer together and we always treasure the memories we make.

First, we got to see some of the Yosemite National Park which was magnificent and what a treat for us.  We both love going to the mountains even though we're not die-hard overnight hikers.  We like to take our time and enjoy God's beauty.  The Yosemite hike was no exception, it felt really good to accomplish it.  Most of the panoramic trail was going downhill on pretty steep terrain and at first we thought nothing of it.  Then about half way thru we started feeling the constant pounding on our knees and calves but thought this wasn't so bad.  And then the last 2 miles or so we pretty much felt like we were 90 years old, walking so slow and our muscles starting to cramp up. :)  I was so excited to see a creek just as we got done and we both sat on rocks, numbing our feet and ankles in the cold mountain creek.  It felt wonderful!  After that, as we sat in the car a lot over the next 2 days, every time we would try to get up from the car we were really sore. :)  But, it was so worth it and what a great memory to make together.  It was funny because even though this was our vacation, there were plenty of sleepless nights and very early mornings.

First, we had to wake up at 2:45am to catch our plane to Minneapolis and San Francisco.  When we got to San Francisco and got our rental car we didn't have too much time left to look around so we at least went to the Fisherman's Wharf and that was fun to see although it was a bit packed like any tourist attraction.  Next, we drove 2 hours to our hotel and pretty much just collapsed in bed. :)  We had to be up before 5am the next day to catch a tour guide bus that drove us to the top of the Glacier Point in Yosemite park, so another early rise day.  But at the end of the hike we were so glad we went to the early hike because it got pretty steamy by the middle of the afternoon.

Next, we drove thru the Napa Valley, the wine country and stopped at a couple nice wineries.  One was super fancy and we found ourselves leaving pretty quickly but the other one was having an open house and it was a fun little place with a store full of very exciting food like cheeses and sausages from all over the world.

After that our stop was our friends' Jon and Tiffany's house in Ukiah who are the best hosts and made us feel so welcome.  They moved there from Thief River last Fall and it was just the perfect destination in every way.  Right as we came I wished our kids came with because I knew they would have had a blast with their kids but at the same time it was really nice to not having to worry about the kids at all. :)  I really enjoyed the fellowship of my sweet friend, our conversations and our fun trail walk/run before we left.  She has 2 girls that are about Kade's age and it was really encouraging to talk to another mom who is dealing with all the tween issues.   The night before we left we had a nice little fire outside and it was so great to sit outside under the stars and have a great conversation you have with true friends.  To us, those moments mean more than any beautiful sights and I hope we can have many more of them with these friends and others. 

Jon and Tiffany took us to a glass beach which was a great place to hang out.  Years ago it was a beautiful beach filled with washed out broken glass coming from a huge glass dump but as more and more people found out about it they would come there and take bags full of  colored "rocks" back with them, leaving the beach with barely any left.  We still saw some on the ground but the glass pieces were tiny.  Here are some pictures from there and another place down the coast we had a picnic at.  The coast is very cold most of the times and it is very windy there.  We did know about it, but it still catches you by surprise because you expect to feel warm by the beach and being able to swim in the ocean, not barely put your legs in. :) But the ocean was sure beautiful and I loved sitting in the warm sand watching the waves.

The next day we spent part of the day looking at some redwoods with the huge sequoia trees but we forgot the camera at our friends' house so we didn't take the best pictures with our second option - phone camera.  It is an indescribable feeling being surrounded by those trees, Ehren said it felt like we were in the Lord of the Rings movie. :)

Next, we spent a day in the town of Petaluma where Ehren wanted to stop in a studio and listen to his favorite techie pod cast he listens to online every week.  I was surprised at how nice the downtown area was and I spent most of the day walking around the fun shops and neat sights.

Wednesday was time for us to say good bye (or so I thought! :)) and drive back to San Francisco to catch our flight back.  We planned to stop at some neat spots where you can see the whole city and the Golden Gate bridge and that was a lot of fun.  We had a great day and slowly made our way back to the airport to return the rental car because our flight back home was leaving at midnight.

But the day didn't end there.  After we turned the car in we went to check in at the airport only to find out I was off by a day and our plane was not going to leave until the next day at midnight!  I cannot explain how mad I was at myself at that moment.  We sat down and I just stared in disbelief and then cried. :)  All I could think about was how we could have had another great day at our friends', have a place to sleep and enjoy it.  Now, we were stuck at the airport for the night.  It crossed our minds to check the hotels but every single one was sold out or a couple beds available started at $300.  So, we found ourselves a nice bench seating where we could lie down and try to get some sleep.  I think I slept about 4 hours total that night but who cares, sleep is overrated. :)  When we both woke up and got something to eat, we talked about what to do with our whole day open and a whole a lot of nothing to do at the airport.  We thought about taking a cab some place but then decided to just walk out of the airport and see what we find nearby.  To our surprise there was a nice sidewalk for walking out of the airport, right next to a busy highway.  We didn't meat anyone else walking there so I don't think it is used much but in a few minutes we were by the coast on a nice path for the hotel guests.  With no plans at all, we just walked around the neighborhood a bit, relaxed in the parks and were glad we were able to be outside and moving before our long night as we flew overnight.  The airplane rides went without a glitch and since we were so tired already from not enough sleep the night before, we were just out on both planes. :)

It is always so sweet to come home when you're greeted by 3 excited kiddos.  We enjoyed our time away yet it is funny how much you miss the kids too and so many times you wish they were there to see their reactions, to let them experience the sights/smells/tastes of new places with you.  It felt great to be home, to take a shower after 2 days, to sleep in our comfy bed and to just unwind this weekend.  We are so blessed that we have family that was taking care of our kids for us.  Ehren's sister came to stay at our house for a few days with her own 2 girls and it was so special that she did that for us.  I know our kids loved it and she got a glimpse of what it's like to live with someone that's close to being a teenager.  :)  Ehren's mom took care of the kids the rest of the time and that was special for the kids too.  Their time didn't go without an ER run with Anika who got a deer tick and the head stayed in her skin.  We were just very thankful to have this opportunity and to know that our kids were in such great care the whole time.

A day or so before Ingrid was about to come stay at our house, Kason and Anika were working hard on making a list of things to do while she was here.  They did a great job but since Kason writes really big letters he was not able to fit all the things on the board but he did not want to use a note pad either.  So I said I would write the list for them but all of it was their own ideas.  I thought it was really cute and I showed it to Ingrid, not really thinking she would do those things but when we got home, Kason presented me with the board and every point had a check mark next to it.  I had to smile and was so grateful for such a wonderful and loving sister-in-law.  Here's the list and they made it all happen in 4 days. :)

So, that was our anniversary trip in a nutshell.  Here's to the next 15 years and may it be as sweet as the first 15!