having company

I don't know if many women feel this way, but it can be a bit stressful to have company over for dinner.  I don't mean people who have been to our place before, who know us, but people we invite over so we can get to know them better.  We are trying to do that when we notice a new couple in our church about our age because really, with our busy kids it is way too hard to carry on a nice conversation after church to get to know someone.  I am happy if I get to quick say hi to my good friends there, not to mention trying to meet someone new.  So we realize it is important for us to have people over and after a few years we learned not to expect a dinner invitation back from them. :) It is funny how after we have had some people over they would say "Oh, we have to have you guys over sometime, it would be fun."  But years go by and nothing, we don't get invited once.  I'm not bitter, really :) but why do people say things they don't mean?  I appreciate when people tell me they just don't like to cook and don't really have people over because then you understand.  I think some people just think it's polite to announce they would love to have us over even if they don't mean it.  Maybe it's part of the Minnesota nice code.  Like smiling "how are you?" as if they really cared but are walking away as you're about to answer "actually,...".  That is making a generalization though and my good friends don't do that, which I'm glad.  I know for a fact that to most people that don't know me well (and maybe even to those that do know me well) I appear very mad and unfriendly all the time simply because I don't grin at them when I meet them.  I just can't fake it.  I can't fake a big smile when I don't know someone well enough.  It is a little bit of my Slovak culture coming through and really, I am starting to realize it's ok to be that way.  It's ok because that is who I am and who God made me to be.  I am reserved and not very excited looking with people I don't know well. I need a deeper friendship to break that wall but once it does, I am a friend to stay no matter what.  And it is sad but I see way too many shallow friendships that don't mean much even though in conversation you would imagine they're best of friends.  I think I would rather have a true friend than one that is polite and smiles at me but doesn't know that inside I'm crying and feeling alone.

Anyway, back to my point.  I do love inviting new people over but the stress of getting the house looking just right can be a bit too much sometimes.  If it is someone who's been to our house it's fine, you just concentrate on the main living area and it's ok if our bedroom or bathroom is a disaster.  But with new people, it is polite to give them a tour of the house which means they will see almost every place of the house and there's no room for leaving at least one room messy.  So I've been running around for a day and a half now to start and finish all the laundry, to wash and change sheets on our beds, to clean up and de-clutter every room, to pay the bills, and to get the dinner ready for 4 adults and 7 kids.  Not easy when there are 5 little ones running around all day.  I know I get that monster look when I do that because I am so focused on getting this house cleaned up or else.  I do love it though for an evening or two when the house is still clean and I can finally relax a bit, sit down and enjoy the clean view before it's ruined again. :)  I also love doing all the work on Friday and come Saturday almost all the chores are done.  It's almost like having 2 Sundays in a row minus going to church. :)  We had a really nice time visiting with a couple and their 4 kids tonight and now it feels like the hard work I did was so worth it.  I know there are a lot of people who say it's not worth it but clean house matters to me.  Our kids just loved having friends over too and were all having a blast.  I love family get togethers like that, when everyone has a good time and you just visit and get to know someone a little better.