Thanksgiving

It is time for another Thanksgiving.  That's the American Thanksgiving, from pilgrims to turkey to a pre-Christmas holiday with families.  Even though I really don't get into it as much as a lot of people here, it is still a nice break for me from the ordinary, a chance to relax and visit family and friends.  When we lived in the Cities I always had to work Friday after Thanksgiving so we would always spend the day on Thursday with Ehren's aunt Grace and her family.  Somehow since then it became an unwritten tradition for us to spend Thanksgiving with the Meyers and we really enjoy it.  I was really upset when Ehren found out he had to work on Friday after Thanksgiving this year but since then he was able to switch with someone and we're good to go again.  :) When we moved up here I thought it would be so easy to get down to the cities and visit friends, family but it is far from easy.  We are lucky to get down 3 times a year now and so I want to hold on to our Thanksgiving tradition of going to the Cities because it is one more time we get to go down there.

In the light of Thanksgiving and pilgrims and all, Kade's teacher asked me to come talk to the whole class tomorrow about how I moved to the US and about my country, Slovakia.  When I asked her for some examples she said last year they had a lady come talk about her move from Cuba, how she traveled on a boat across the ocean and the hardship of living in Cuba and stuff.  I had to laugh to myself when I read that because come on, how is my story anything even comparable to that?  It's not like I was running away from a bad or poor place, if anything the first year in the US I wished I never left home. :)  So we'll see what the kids think of my sappy love story ending with me moving to the US.  Kade is really excited that I'm going to be the guest speaker in his class because I very rarely get to volunteer or help in any way since I have to do daycare.

One thing I've been wanting our family to do for Thanksgiving is to make our own little "thankful tree".  I found some nice red branches in our woods and cut out little notes out of scrapbook paper.  As part of our "Tuesday family supper" this week we all thought about all the things we are thankful for, wrote them down and hung them on our tree.  It is just sad when I think about thousands of things in my life I am thankful for and how quickly I forget about them when something just doesn't go the way I want it to.  I've been so spoiled that stupid trivial things that don't matter at all can ruin my day sometimes.  So I want to read and remember all those notes my kids wrote (despite some notes mentioning toys and their favorite things) and the ones I wrote because in the end, they are what matter in this life.  What I have right here and not the millions of things our society is telling me I need.  It is so easy to get sucked in, to compare our life with lives of others, to make sure we're not behind on anything and most importantly to make sure our kids are not lagging behind on any area of life.  So here is to a year of thankfulness.  To finding little joys every day and treasuring them.  To laughing and smiling instead of frowning. And to contentment and peace that's not of this world.  

     

(little Marcel :))
I'm bummed I missed Kade's music performance at
school but they sounded good on the video I saw

smile

Talking about a smile made me think of a cute story from a few weeks ago.  Kade and Anika were going to have a picture day at school.  I tried very hard to make them look as nice as possible, did French brades for Anika and all. :)  I kind of started coaching Kade a little bit a couple days before the picture day, not because he doesn't pose nice for pictures but because he had a front tooth that was pretty much ready to come out and was hanging way down so it was really noticeable.  I tried to show him to not do a big grinny smile where all his teeth would show because that tooth would really stand out.  So he practiced a few smiles and I knew it could turn out as whatever no matter what I say or do.  Somehow though, I was totally oblivious to the fact that Anika was taking this whole coaching in and was really thinking about her picture day.  I don't remember saying much to her other then to smile nice when the photographer says so.  I didn't expect much because this was her very first school picture and they really do them quick.  Then I totally forgot about the whole thing because it took a long time to get the pictures back.  Well, the day finally came a few weeks ago when Kade and Ani brought their pictures back.  Kade's turned out very nice even though he showed some teeth and when I look at it it reminds me a little bit of my dad.  The funny and cute part came when Anika came home because she was so excited to show me her pictures and she exclaimed "mommy, I didn't show my teeth!"  It took me a second to realize what she was talking about and as I pulled the picture out of the envelope, she was right.  She made sure her lips stayed tight together and she was so proud of it because she thought that was what I wanted.  I had to smile at her and I think I said something like "Ani, I wanted YOU to show your teeth when smiling." :) It is still a very nice picture of her and I don't think you need to smile big to have a good picture, it is just funny how she purposely posed that way.

Every time I think back to that little episode I have to think about how kids pay attention to everything and they think about everything we say.  Our little Ani wants to make us so proud and when she figures out something is important to do or not do she tries so hard to do just that.  She wants to please us and make us proud so bad and I don't ever want to take that for granted.

As I look at the 2 pictures together I can't help but think about how different Kade and Anika look.  Some kids on the bus kept asking Kade if that was really his sister and I don't blame them.  They really don't look much alike but I kind of like it.  I like the fact that all of our 3 kids look quite a bit different, to go with how different their personalities are.

Teeth

Today I went to the dentist with a tooth ache and came back home with one less tooth in my mouth.

If you know me well you know I hate everything about teeth.  It is mostly because of my horrible gingivitis (gum disease) and even more horrible experiences with dentists in Europe and in the US.  If I could make a deal with God to deliver 10 more children so that I never have to put a foot in the dentist office, I would gladly do it. :)

Well, I got one more bad news about my teeth today.  I went in with a tooth ache, which I thought would just be a big cavity.  Turns out it was way deep inside my tooth, under a huge silver filling.  Basically, if they tried to get rid of all the bad stuff in that tooth there would be nothing left to save.  So I came home today with one less tooth in my mouth.  It's always emotional to have a tooth pulled out and I'm not even sure why.  But the panic attack associated with the pain of pulling the tooth out is even worse so my nice dentist gave me the gas and plenty of injections.  It still feels weird when they do it, like they are going to pull your whole jaw out.  This tooth, whatever the number they kept talking about, is the last one in the back that I can have taken out and not miss it much when chewing.  I am just praying now that the tooth next to it will be ok enough to stay for a while.  That one too has some cavity but it's hard for them to see how bad it is so we have to wait on that and see.  If it turns out bad like the last one, I will need an implant there so I can chew my food. :)  I already need another implant right in the front which everyone sees when I smile or talk, and I keep postponing it all the time.  The tooth has gotten really crooked from the gingivitis over the last 10 years or so and is not strong enough to stay in if it's corrected.  The only logical thing is to pull it out and get an implant instead.  I'd love to do that too so I'm not that conscious of my smile all time but it costs so much money I never feel like I can justify it just for a nicer smile.  But maybe someday soon I will do it.  The implant in the back of my mouth, if it turns out bad enough, will be a lot more important to have done because it's not doing it for a cosmetic effect but for me to be able to chew food properly.

Well, it is a bit gross but teeth issues is something I have to struggle with.  We all have something in our life and I do know that I have to be thankful it is just teeth.  Really, with cancer and tumors all around me, how could I complain about the stupid teeth.  When I hear or read about someone going through chemo it always hits home for me and I quickly realize I have absolutely nothing in my life even comparable to that.  So I'll be ok going to my dentist for the 1000s time (and try to be ok with all the dental bills) and I'll be ok with my smile that shows my very imperfect teeth because I have so much more to be thankful for.

sleeping in?

Saturday is usually the one day when Ehren and I like to sleep in.  Not like past 9am sleeping in, that never happens :), just 7:30-8:00 is ideal for us.  Now that the kids are all out of the diapers and cribs, we are trying to train them in letting us sleep a little on Saturday.  Well, it's on and off depending on which one of them wakes up a little crabby. :)  Today was a bit of an off morning.  Kade is old enough to just go and find something quiet to do but Kason and Anika think "we're up, let's do our loud role playing, etc".  They usually end up in Ani's room and are to a point of yelling about this or that while Ehren and I try to snooze a little more.  Sometimes one of us yells out for them to be quiet but that usually doesn't last too long.  So this morning I finally got up because I couldn't sleep with the noises anymore.  But I really can't complain about our kids' sleeping habits because I know so many parents whose kids still at 3 or 4 years old don't sleep all night by themselves or are up way too early.  So I realize that our kids going to bed within minutes of us putting them down at 8pm and getting up at 7am is not that bad at all.  I should really be happy that Kason and Ani are such good buddies that they cannot play apart and from the moment they wake up they want to be together.  It is so sweet when I think about it yet I can get so mad at them for being loud or wild.  It is the prospective and how I choose to look at things that bother me.  Here's to a happy Saturday and choosing to smile at my kids.

having company

I don't know if many women feel this way, but it can be a bit stressful to have company over for dinner.  I don't mean people who have been to our place before, who know us, but people we invite over so we can get to know them better.  We are trying to do that when we notice a new couple in our church about our age because really, with our busy kids it is way too hard to carry on a nice conversation after church to get to know someone.  I am happy if I get to quick say hi to my good friends there, not to mention trying to meet someone new.  So we realize it is important for us to have people over and after a few years we learned not to expect a dinner invitation back from them. :) It is funny how after we have had some people over they would say "Oh, we have to have you guys over sometime, it would be fun."  But years go by and nothing, we don't get invited once.  I'm not bitter, really :) but why do people say things they don't mean?  I appreciate when people tell me they just don't like to cook and don't really have people over because then you understand.  I think some people just think it's polite to announce they would love to have us over even if they don't mean it.  Maybe it's part of the Minnesota nice code.  Like smiling "how are you?" as if they really cared but are walking away as you're about to answer "actually,...".  That is making a generalization though and my good friends don't do that, which I'm glad.  I know for a fact that to most people that don't know me well (and maybe even to those that do know me well) I appear very mad and unfriendly all the time simply because I don't grin at them when I meet them.  I just can't fake it.  I can't fake a big smile when I don't know someone well enough.  It is a little bit of my Slovak culture coming through and really, I am starting to realize it's ok to be that way.  It's ok because that is who I am and who God made me to be.  I am reserved and not very excited looking with people I don't know well. I need a deeper friendship to break that wall but once it does, I am a friend to stay no matter what.  And it is sad but I see way too many shallow friendships that don't mean much even though in conversation you would imagine they're best of friends.  I think I would rather have a true friend than one that is polite and smiles at me but doesn't know that inside I'm crying and feeling alone.

Anyway, back to my point.  I do love inviting new people over but the stress of getting the house looking just right can be a bit too much sometimes.  If it is someone who's been to our house it's fine, you just concentrate on the main living area and it's ok if our bedroom or bathroom is a disaster.  But with new people, it is polite to give them a tour of the house which means they will see almost every place of the house and there's no room for leaving at least one room messy.  So I've been running around for a day and a half now to start and finish all the laundry, to wash and change sheets on our beds, to clean up and de-clutter every room, to pay the bills, and to get the dinner ready for 4 adults and 7 kids.  Not easy when there are 5 little ones running around all day.  I know I get that monster look when I do that because I am so focused on getting this house cleaned up or else.  I do love it though for an evening or two when the house is still clean and I can finally relax a bit, sit down and enjoy the clean view before it's ruined again. :)  I also love doing all the work on Friday and come Saturday almost all the chores are done.  It's almost like having 2 Sundays in a row minus going to church. :)  We had a really nice time visiting with a couple and their 4 kids tonight and now it feels like the hard work I did was so worth it.  I know there are a lot of people who say it's not worth it but clean house matters to me.  Our kids just loved having friends over too and were all having a blast.  I love family get togethers like that, when everyone has a good time and you just visit and get to know someone a little better.

family dinners

You read and hear about family dinners everywhere.  They say that families that eat dinners together end up a lot stronger and kids grow up with a lot bigger sense of family.  I can see just from the time I was young until now, it is less and less common to eat dinners at home together as a family because everyone is so on the go and some family members are either at a sport, activity or other outing.  And I do understand there are many families where husbands and wives have to work opposite shifts because that's the only job they can find and many other reasons people can't do it.  But we are not one of those families and so finally this year, Ehren and I decided to start our little family tradition so we don't slip into that mode of never eating together.  Weekends are usually pretty crazy for us since that's the only time I can go out and do some shopping or visit with friends or have someone over or whatever.  So besides the weekend I thought we need to make a use of our nice dining room and have special dinners together once a week.  It has been a few weeks now that on a Tuesday night, I make a nice home-made meal with dessert and everything and we all eat together and talk.  It's funny how we got so used to just eating in our kitchen since there is plenty of room for all of us but doing this once a week it makes it special to eat where we usually eat only for special occasions.  The kids get excited now when we have our nice dinners in the dining room and I have to say it is a nice little break from the usual quick dinners.  And it's not that we don't eat together the rest of the week, most of the days we still do but because of some activities and things that come up, me and the kids usually eat before Ehren is even home from work.  But on Tuesday night, we have nothing going on and we just spend the whole evening together as a family.  I'm really enjoying it even though some of the times I just sit there during dinner, listen to the kids talk about their day and really, my head is a mush from a busy day so I barely say anything (as Ehren pointed out the other time:)).  But I don't think that matters because really, I just enjoy the time with all of us at the table and Ehren not using any tech gadgets for a night.  It is one more thing I added to my list to simplify my life.  Because it is time devoted to just our family.  I really hope we can continue this tradition as the kids grow older and more independent from us.  Because our family matters to God and it matters to me.