ready or not...

Summer is coming!  It may not look like it here in the Northern MN tundra but our calendar is telling us that the summer is here.  Our kids started soccer, only have 5 days left of school and on Friday (their last day of school) my parents are flying in from Slovakia to stay with us for a couple of months.  So just those things scream Summer and whether I'm ready or not, it's coming.  We have been waiting and waiting for warmer weather since March but since it didn't get here until last week it didn't give me much time to mentally prepare for kids being home from school.  All of a sudden it's here and I'm a bit panicky because not only it is pretty chaotic every year when the 4 school aged kids join the rest of the daycare clan during the week days, it is also the time when my parents arrive. :)  So Ehren and I are both a bit stressed because we'd like to have everything ready and going smoothly for my parents and most likely it won't.  I know it will be great having them here and they'll be such a huge help in all our projects but I can never avoid a bit of anxiety about everything. 

We had a few very nice days already but this week it is very rainy and every hole/ditch around our house is flooded.  Seems like it happens every time I get excited to start planting garden or doing stuff around the house. :)  So now we have to wait for it to dry out which is ok because there is a lot to do inside the house and garage too.  Our big project the next couple of weeks is building a large deck behind the house, 22x15 feet.  Ehren and I are both very excited about having a deck and being able to enjoy the beautiful sun sets we have.  We also have other little projects inside and outside to do so we're hoping it will be enough to keep mom and dad busy.  Because when they're here they mean business and want to see something they've accomplished and helped us with.  I really feel blessed and thankful for all they do for me and my brothers.    

Kids are really excited to see their babka and dedko coming, they've been talking about it and Kade keeps on insisting to ride to the airport when they arrive.  They fly in to Fargo which is 2 hours away so it's not so far, but they don't land until 10pm at night and that's just a bit too late for the kids.  Ehren won't even let me drive by myself because it's past my bed time :) and he says I'll be too distracted talking to them while driving.  He's probably right and I would hate hitting a deer or something worse. :) The kids are also really excited about going to Canada in about a month, they've never been there.  I am excited to see the mountains there and get ideas of where would be a good place to go for a trip just Ehren and I.  So many people take their vacations around Banff or Jasper National Park and the pictures from there are so beautiful.  It will be a very interesting experience, road tripping with my parents when we haven't done that with just our kids yet. :)  Not sure how they'll behave and sleep so it is a bit of a test.  I already got a bunch of kids' workbooks to keep Kason and Ani busy.  No matter what, I'm looking forward to our family adventure and to have my parents here for a little while.


Below are a few pictures of Kason's preschool graduation from last week.  He was excited to graduate but was pretty disappointed that the next day he didn't get to go to Kindergarten but back to preschool. :) We had to explain he'll have to wait until summer is over to go there.

My new haircut :)

 

sad

It was a sad day yesterday.  Minnesota legislators passed the bill to allow gay marriages.  We were only the 12th state to do so in the US.  I don't get political or even fight about things I strongly believe in, but it makes my blood boil when I see some facebook friends comment how proud they are to be Minnesotans.  I just want to tell them "after pride comes Destruction and Fall..."  Whatever those people for "equal" rights say, this is not a war to fight for equal marriage opportunity.  This is the beginning of destroying the marriage as we know it.

How come nobody talks about the gay leaders who say outright they don't even believe in marriage, that it is just a feeling and has no value?  They say who is to say only 2 people are to be parents, polygamy is the way to go.  And these are the leaders that are pushing on the legislators to vote yes for gay marriages.  How come nobody asks why?  If they care SO little about marriage, why is it so important for them to fight for it?  So that 2% of gay couples will get married?  In Netherlands they have allowed homosexual marriages for a long time and I just read a statistic that in that country, out of all the homosexuals only a tiny percentage actually gets married versus the heterosexual couples.  Which is exactly why this makes me so upset.  They do not care about having the right to marry, they don't even know what marriage means or what it should mean.  And they are not silent about marriage having no value at all.

I know there's nothing I can do about it other than to teach our children the moral values God stands for.   But I can say anything I want here on this blog (for now) because it is my opinions, my thoughts.  Our nation is going downhill fast but we don't have to be in despair because our God is bigger than any of this tiny world crap going on and we know that we are not home yet.  So I will dwell on that instead of the bad all around us.

thought for the day

It is that time of the year - lots of Highschool graduations.  We don't know very many within our family/friends but there are a couple kids we want to come to their graduation open houses.  So I went to a store today to look for some cards for them.  I could not believe the messages of those cards, one worse than the other.  All about how "the world is yours to take" and "nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself" and "you did it now go have fun".  It just made me feel sick.  That's not the message I want our kids to have when they finish Highschool.  If anything, the graduates owe us as the nation and it is their turn to contribute, to do their part, and to have realistic expectations of the world too.  I read an article recently talking about  how young adults growing up now are very immature and child like compared to previous generations and mostly because their parents don't let them figure life out.  These parents do everything for and with their kids when they're little without letting them play with just kids, they pretty much bubble wrap the kids too so they wouldn't get hurt, they scold teachers if their kids do something bad, they get into their kids' conflicts with peers or adults and solve them for them, they "help" their kids with tests, getting to the right schools, paying for the college and it goes on and on.  The author is saying how these kids never had to deal with life on their own. Their parents always did everything for them, including hard decisions and now they are grown ups, not getting married, living with their parents and with no direction in their life.  I'm sure this is not to say they're all like that but there is a definite change in how young adults think and view life. 

It makes me think about what we can do now while our kids are still little to help them grow up to be different.  To try things on their own, to take risks and figure things out on their own.  But for that we have to be ok letting our kids fail.  And fail very badly sometimes which is so hard for parents to do, myself included.  I don't want to stand by and watch as my son makes a mistake that will affect his education, career or marriage but maybe that's exactly what our kids need.  Because we don't know how that failure would shape our kids' whole life, how that could be a defining moment for them that they will never have because their parents fixed it for them.  Parenting is just hard and without Grace it is impossible. :)

Awana

Tonight was the last night of Awana.  It is a wonderful program our church does for kids 3 years old until 5th grade.  After that the kids usually attend Junior and Senior High that happens on the same night.  So our church is a lively place on Wednesday nights during the school year and it is our outreach to the community too since we have a lot more kids coming to Awana than come to our church.  Kids really love going there and the leaders are so dedicated and wonderful.

CUBBIES

I have been helping with Cubbies (the youngest group) for almost 5 years.  It is pretty challenging since it is in the middle of the week, from 6:30-8pm and some of the 3 year olds are pretty cranky by then.  But this year we had such great kids and they were so excited to come and say their verses.  It wasn't always easy to be there with Kason as his mom since I'm home with him every day but that's ok.

Next year Kason is moving on to the Sparks where Anika is.  It is going to be so different having all our kids part of the big kids.  I will be done helping in Cubbies and I am really relieved despite of this year being good.  I spread myself way too thin this last year at church, helping every Wednesday night and every other Sunday morning teaching 4-5 year old Sunday school.  I just feel bad when nobody volunteers to help but I should not have done so much because this year I felt like all I do is take care of little ones, at home during the day, on Wednesday nights and on Sunday mornings and it was just a little too much.  So I told one of our pastors I have to be done.  It's ok if nobody is willing to take my place, people have to see that if nobody steps up, there won't be Sunday school or other things that depend so much on volunteers from our church.  I am finally ok with saying no and not feeling guilty about it.  Somehow it feels very freeing.  I want to be available to do other things next year, like reaching out to our peers who are slowly growing apart except for a few rocks.  

Kade with the friends that finished 2nd book

I am pretty proud of Kade this year.  It is not always easy for boys to keep up with their books and finish all the homework and verses.  It is a completely different story for girls who love to stay on task and get as much done as possible but Kade has a few friends who could care less about doing the work and so he had a hard time staying in it as well.  As it was getting close to the end of Awana year I asked Kade how he's doing with the book and he just casually said "oh, I don't know if I'm going to finish my book this year."  He must have caught me in a pretty bad moment too because my blood was boiling when I heard him say that.  I was really upset that he doesn't care at all and pretty much told him he's not going to be part of Awana next year if he's not going to take it seriously.  It was a bit harsh but just because other boys come there for games and socializing I don't want Kade to think it doesn't matter.  It is being responsible.  Anyway, after we had that talk he got a bit worried and worked super hard to catch up and finished the book last week.  He was really excited he did it and I couldn't believe how he's able to memorize like 10 long verses from the Bible in one afternoon and not get them mixed up.  I'm getting old because I don't think I could do that and was getting mixed up by just checking him.  So tonight he got his 2nd book award (he has one more year next year).  I didn't tell him anything about a reward but when we got home I told him I got something for him because he did such a great job finishing the book.  It was a flag football set which he loves to play with his buddies.  I hope he remembers that when we work hard at something, it pays off.  It's not always fun especially when we feel like no one sees us or cares, but He does and that's all that matters.

Kason ready for Sparks in the Fall

SPARKS is a huge group - Kindergarten thru 2nd grade

Anika and Emily with friends that finished their 1st book

awake

It is still pretty early for bed but the whole family is asleep.  Ehren has been under the weather so he went to bed early.  I should be joining him but I like the quietness of the house and plus I am so congested and feel like coughing every 2 minutes which makes it hard to fall asleep.

Today I told the last parent about me quitting daycare after summer is over and it stunk.  It is so hard for me to say it because my heart breaks for them having to find a new daycare which is so hard to find in our small town and so I just quick said what I had to say.  If I kept talking about it, I don't think I could avoid getting emotional.  It also helped that this particular dad doesn't ever say much and the last few months I haven't even seen the mom because she works nights as a nurse.  Probably out of all the kids I watch I worry about little Carson the most.  I know he has caring parents and grand parents but just being born to an unwed couple makes for a hard childhood in my head.  I feel like I've been with him through so many stages, watching him since he was just a 4 months old baby.  He will be 3 years old next month so it's a good chunk of a little child's life.  It will be hard not knowing who is taking care of him, does he get enough attention, is he happy there....  It's crazy but somehow I think unconsciously I tried to not get too attached emotionally to these little daycare kids of mine because you never know how long I'd watch them for and I thought that would make this easier on me.  But the truth is I don't think it can ever be easy to say good bye to kids that I bottle fed, changed, rocked, watched crawl and walk for the first time, that called me "momma", that I comforted when they got hurt, that were my little grocery shopping buddies, and so on.  It is just hard and maybe with him it feels even more so because I know I won't see him anymore, other than if I accidentally run into him in town.  With my nieces and other kids I watch I'll still see them around so it will be ok and I can watch them grow but I won't see him grow up.  Maybe in a way it's like what teachers have to do a lot.  They have their students for a year and I'm sure there are many of them that they are sad to let go.

So I'm just reminiscing a little tonight about what it's been like the last 5 years or so.  Funny how it can be so scary to quit what we're comfortable with and start something brand new.  I know I need to do it but change is hard sometime. :)  I pray it's a good change for me and the kiddos and that God will watch over all the little ones that called our home their daycare and that at some point called me their momma.

        

and he's 5

What a fun and busy weekend! On Saturday we had Kason's friends' birthday party.  I think it went well and the kids had a lot of fun.  It is always hard for me to know who to invite because if I wanted to invite all our good friends who have kids around Kason's age that would be a huge group.  So I invited Kason's best buddies and some of his closest friends.  Of course, a lot of them have older siblings so we had to invite them and so we ended up with around 20 kids here ages 2-9 and some parents.  I had some cute games planned too but as usual, the kids got wild pretty soon after everyone got here and we managed to do 3 games before I lost them. :)  But in big groups that's how it is and it's ok because really, they just want to play with each other and run around and explore our yard, woods and stuff.  Before they all ran out though I was able to have all of their attention for a little science experiment as we made a "volcano" from playdough.  It was cute and the kids loved how it was bubbling up.  It was just baking soda in a bottle and after we made it look like a volcano I poured a colored vinegar in.  Very simple but it's funny how kids love hands-on projects like that.

Kason has been very much into Mario Kart racing lately and so the obvious choice for a cake was a Mario race track which worked well with number 5.   It is probably my 3rd race track as I did one for Kade's number 8 and Kason's number 4.  It is very easy to decorate it too so a win win.  Kason loved it and because of how many kids we had, there was only a tiny bit of cake left after the party, which is good because usually we have a ton of cake left.

On Sunday after church, it was a very exciting afternoon for the kids as Ehren got to work on setting up the trampoline.  I was going to wait longer to buy it but then it went on sale so it worked out great.  It was so nice out, the warm sun felt wonderful as we were out there.  We did make our project about twice as long because we messed up and had to redo all the strings. :)  But it still didn't take very long and before they knew it, all 3 kids were jumping, squealing and laughing on the trampoline.  It is so fun to watch their faces, how much they enjoy it and any kids for that matter.  Pretty much all of our kids' friends love trampolines and I'm excited to have them over this summer so they can play together.  Ehren and I jumped on it some too and it was fun feeling like a kid again.  But it wasn't the best thing for my sinus infection that I've had for a few days now because as I was jumping my nose started running like crazy. :)  We did all that before we had our couples' Bible study at 5:30.

So today was Kason's official birthday.  I can't believe our youngest is 5 years old already.  We are definitely moving into a new stage of life - having school aged kids.  In many ways it's exciting to see our kids grow and become their own persons and in many ways it gets so much more challenging and scary to parent them, to know what is ok for them to do and what is not.  How much activities/sports our kids should be involved in, how much stuff they could have, what they should and shouldn't be learning, reading, watching and the list goes on and on.  I just hope we have the wisdom to deal with all that's going to be thrown at us and that we keep our eyes on Jesus and let Him guide us because if we doing it alone we fail miserably.

We finished the day by having Kason's requested dinner - spaghetti  and going to the park with nana and papa and Kjell and Jess with their girls.  It was a great way to end the day even though I wasn't feeling very good.  It was just such a beautiful and warm day today and we really hope the warm weather is here to stay now. :)

this was on Saturday and on Sunday kids wanted to wear T shirts and shorts it was that much warmer :)

    

little kids' turn