33

One year older today.  It is funny how after 30, the years just kind of blend together.  When I'm asked how old I am I usually have to think for a minute "is it 31 or 32?"  I usually have to think of how old Ehren is and then I figure out my age :).  I know, you'd think I would go by the year I was born.  But really, the number of years don't matter to me much. Yet :).  It is interesting to see how now I'm one of the older people in groups when not that many years ago I was one of the youngest.  Now there is a new generation coming after ours and it is just different.  I probably have a very limited view of age groups, living in a small town and all, but I am pretty surprised at how different the younger or the so called "millennium" generation is.  I looked it up and it's funny that by my birth year I actually still belong to millenniums because I feel so much older than they are.  Or at least see life so differently than they do.  And again, it is from my very narrowed view of that generation that I come across daily.  First, I have to say this generation does not know what commitment means.  Whether it is commitment to jobs, church groups, friends, spouses, it is just sad how little that word means to most of the young generation.  I feel old in my attitude that when I sign up to do something or say I will be part of something I actually follow through and do what I committed to.  It also seems like younger and younger people keep having the attitude that they're entitled to everything they see around them.  They want a beautiful house before they even get married which took their parents years and years to get, brand new vehicles, big screen tvs, video games, and whatever anyone else is having around them.  And they can't wait, they have to have it now.  I'm a bit worried about our kids and what kind of life they will be getting into in their young adulthood.  I overheard someone telling a friend about his teenage kids:  "You know, it is really hard getting Christmas presents because all our kids want is stuff that's expensive like iphone, camera, laptop, ipad, etc."  And a lot of people actually do that, they max out their credit cards to make their kids happy.  Part of me thinks that pretty much starts up their attitude of getting whatever, right now.  But I sure hope I'm wrong.  I hope there are still sensible young people out there and kids that want to follow God more than anything else.  I guess all we can do is teach our own kids values from the Bible, even though Kade sometimes thinks it gives him the right to "correct" his friends' behavior.  On one hand I want to shush him and tell him to talk in love, but on the other hand I am tired of people in the US tip toeing around every politically incorrect area.  Someone needs to be the one spreading the truth, even if it's hard to hear.  And really, most people don't want to hear it.  Even I have a hard time with it because I hate any kind of conflict but then I'm always glad when someone else speaks up.  We need to be bolder and I hope the new generations will bring that because they will need to be bold, even bolder than we have to be at this time.

Well, that is enough of blabbing about how the world is ending. :)  Kason and Ani asked me if I was going to have a party for my birthday because that is the most import thing to them about anyone's birthday.  I told them there's no party, but we may have a yummy treat to kind of celebrate. :)  There are a few restaurants near us that give you free food on your birthday, but sadly I will have to do that on March 2nd since all my IDs say that is my birthday.  Oh well, at least I have 2 birthdays for a while.

My dad wrote a very nice e-mail to me for my birthday and it made me think about how I was just 16 when I first came to the States for a year.  I see that so differently now that I am a mom.  I think I'd be terrified to let any of our kids go so far at only 16.  But they did, they trusted me and God that I would be safe.  Only 4 years later they had to let me go again, their only daughter, and this time for good and again they trusted God.  It makes me cry when I think about it because in a way, you are losing your child.  Not only to a son-in-law but also to a country that is thousands of miles away.  And when I think that Kade will be 16 in just 8 short years, it scares me to think that he would leave.  And he might.  I joke sometimes that God will bring it upon me and one of my kids will leave me for a Slovak spouse (or something like that) because that's what I did to my parents. :)  And I pray I would have the strength they had to let me go.  They were so supportive and so great with letting me make my own decisions even though it was pulling their hearts apart and still does in many ways.  And it is something that will always be painful for me too, to be away from my family and country, no matter how many years will pass.  But I guess, it's just making the most of where I am at, where God led me.  To be available and willing and when I do, my own selfish desires seem so minor and so unimportant in the Big scheme of things.