It is very interesting to me to see the differences between parenthood here in Slovakia and in the US. When you watch little kids here you realize kids are the same no matter where they live. They fuss about food, have tantrums, love being with other kids, love chasing each other, love learning new things, and so on. Since I am a stay at home mom it is just interesting to me to see how mothers here tackle their daily challenges.
There are no home daycares here so most women stay home for 3 years with their baby and more if they have another one before the 3 years are up. The difference is almost all the kids go to preschool here when they turn 3 and it is all day every day, but it costs very little money unless it is some very fancy foreign language preschool or something. In the US some kids go to preschool when they are 4 or 5 but it is not cheap most of the times and it is only half day 3 times a week. Kindergarten is combined with preschool here and the difference is they don"t focus on reading or writing at all, unlike the US. In a way I kind of like the idea of kids just learning by play because they learn to read in the 1st grade anyway. I am not happy with American kindergartens and how much they are pushing for more and more curriculum these little kids have to get through before they go to 1st grade. Kids have a lot more play time outside during the day here and even the whole mentality of people is that kids have to be outside and get enough physical activity and that is another sad thing about the US. Of course, in everything there are exceptions and people who go against the flow.
But what is interesting to me is the difference in discipline, eating and stuff. Of course not everyone is like this, but from the short time I"ve been here I heard many times moms say to their little preschoolers or toddlers "listen to me or else you get a spanking!" when the kids were doing something they weren"t suposed to. You just don"t hear that very much in the US. You hear counting to 3, or a time out and even a spanking in the end but not saying it right off, "you are going to get it if you don"t listen". :) I"m not saying either one is right, it is just interesting. Another big difference I noticed is the food. A lot of moms here stress a lot about what food their kids eat. It has to be organic, home-made and they spend a lot of time during the day cooking meals for their families. I know moms in the US can be like that as well, but I don"t know too many.
One new thing that has emerged over the last few years is moms talking to their children in English or German all the time. It is very "in" right now and people look at it as some high class thing or something. I understand the concept of it but at the same time it is a little funny to me to listen to moms at a playground talking to their kids in English with a very thick accent and using phrases that are from books and not really used in real life. One time I watched this little boy about Kade"s age (7 or 8) who just met some foreign kids and he wanted to make friends so he started speaking English to them. On one hand it is great he is able to talk to them but it makes me think if he is now going to keep that very thick accent that screams he is from Eastern Europe, which I assume he got from his parents talking in English. So I am not sure if I have an oppinion about it. I am sure our kids would love that they are able to talk to kids their age when they are here but at the same time I want our kids try speaking Slovak when they are here. You can tell Anika is a lot more shy with kids here because she doesn"t speak the language but she is picking up so much and her and my mom can communicate very easily so that is great. I know for sure that if our kids were able to spend a summer here they would pick up so much of the language and being here gave me a new determination to teach our kids more. It is funny because when we are in town or at a playground now I try talking in Slovak or very quietly in English to Anika so people can"t tell because then they think I am one of those English teaching moms. :) I can see that people look at Ani funny when they hear her talking in English because most kids her age even though are taught English at home only respond in Slovak because that is their native language. I could just see moms looking at us a few times thinking how did she make that little girl speak back to her in English so well because they can hear I am a Slovak. :)
And the last big difference I noticed so far is that stay home moms keep to themselves so much and can feel isolated. Partly it is because it is not easy to get to town from some suburbs they live in, but it is strange to me they would not want to get out more and get together during the day, especially when their 3 year olds and up are in school all day and they mostly only have 1 baby/toddler at home. Also a lot of them say how they get overwhelmed with being a mom yet they never trade babysitting with each other. If one mom has to do something, she doesn"t ask her friends to watch the kids for a while. They ask grandparents or no one. On the opposite, from the friends I know in the US moms rely on their friends so much when it comes to watching their kids once in a while and they do the same for someone else. It is just so natural and it helps moms so much. Same thing goes for couples" dates or anything they want to do together alone. They either have to ask one of their parents or family to babysit or they just don"t do anything alone and it is pretty sad to me. Some people do get sitters but a lot of people can"t afford it. It is almost like people here who start having families just accept their fate of being with their children all the time and feel guilty for wanting to do something without them so they wait until they are way older. So after seeing this (and I know this is not the way everyone is) I feel so very thankful for the way my friends are. I love that I have friends who were happy to take care of my boys during the day while I am gone. When I told some people here about it they were shocked someone would watch my kids for the whole day just like that. There aren"t too many moms I can ask for help because most women I know work full time, but that is why it is even stranger to me the women here in Slovakia don"t do that more for each other since most of them are home every day.
Most likely if I lived here for a while I would notice a lot more things that are different, some better and some worse, or else I would probably realize none of the things I noticed now are really the way I see them, but in the end it doesn"t matter. What matters is if our kids grow up in a loving home, where they feel safe and for them to understand the importance of family. I hope our family both here and in the US will always stay close and will take care of each other. I am so thankful that in this day and age all our families are strong, staying together and that none of my nieces or nephews have to grow up in broken homes. God has really blessed our families with so much.
A couple more pictures from the weekend that my sister-in-law took:
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| kids are racing and uncle Adam joins in on the fun |
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tired out from our outing
you can"t see it but Ani is getting a ride on a scooter in front of my brothers :) |
