This week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me. I have not spoken a word with the friend that is struggling with some relationships, mine included. I just started to think that maybe after months of avoiding me, she'd be open to a conversation but that all disappeared this week. I was a basket case for a couple of days but now I feel like I can finally see clearly and have peace about it and I am sure it is because of people praying for me. Also, it is funny how tough situations work for good sometimes because this particular issue has brought us closer as a family and has shown me so much about my son. It really was a gift to get a glimpse of Kade's tender heart that hides behind the outer shelf of pre-teen's hormones so many times. :)
Anyway, it started when Kade sent a facebook message to this particular friend. He did it all on his own, didn't ask or didn't let me know he did it. :) Truthfully, I was not surprised one bit because he's been questioning me if we'll ever be friends again and why she seems so mad when he sees her. I never went too far with it and tried to say that it is up to them if they are willing to talk and work on healing in our relationship.
So our Kade writes her this letter and the only reason I found out was because I got a really nasty message from my friend saying how completely inappropriate and disrespectful that was and for Kade to even bring it up. He is a child and it is none of his business. She went on about how I'm hiding behind Kade because I am too afraid to say things directly to her and on and on it went. It crushed me that she would say those things, but at the same time I had tears of pride in my eyes reading the short message Kade sent. It was the sweetest and most innocent letter he could have written and in those few lines he showed an adult so much about friendship.
I don't think it's inappropriate to share it on here so here is what he said minus the names: "Hi ----, this is Kade. I understand that you and my
mom aren't friends anymore. Which is hard because everybody in our
family likes your family. I have been praying hard that you and my mom
would become friends again. So far it hasn't been working but I know
sometime in the future our family's will become friends again. Please
will you forgive my mom. My dad likes to hangout with ----, Kason likes
to play with ----, Me and Anika like to catch frogs with ---- and---- and now all of that is gone. Please forgive my mom, and these are
all my words. My mom didn't tell me to say this or anything. Hope we can
be friends again,
Kade"
Every time I read it brings tears to my eyes because even at 11 he could see something was wrong. He is so worried about his little friends and my friend that he would go directly to her, an adult. I think that takes some guts to do that. It was a pretty tough lesson for him to learn and I think he's still struggling with why she wouldn't understand. We told him what he did was the right thing and I told him that I know God had the biggest smile on His face watching Kade share his heart with an adult.
As for my friend, we exchanged a few e-mails and she said she is done for good and can never write or talk to me again. It hurts when someone just does not want to try but I have to remember that she is not well and cannot rationalize or even understand how to work thru a tiny hick-up in a friendship. It makes it really hard because all my friends are her friends and have no idea what happened or what is going on. How do you even explain it to someone? Hopefully, they can see from my actions how much I really care about them and that I never take any of my friendships lightly.
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