frustrated

There are days like today when all I can say is I'm frustrated.  Frustrated with kids, babies, taking care of kids, potty training kids, changing diapers, feeding them lunches and snacks, and so on.  Especially the potty training part is what gets to me.  It is hard enough with your own kids but when you are trying to potty train someone else's kids that only come here during the week is just hard.  Right now I have two kids that are 2 and a half years old so the best time to get potty trained.  They both go in the toilet very nicely, problem is neither one of them ever lets me know they have to go so if I ever miss it, I'm out of luck and their pants are wet.  Luckily they haven't done number 2 in the underwear yet. :) And no matter what I try, the little boy keeps going out of the toilet/potty chair more than in it.

On top of having 6 kids under 4 all day today, one of them is a pretty crabby 10 month old baby.  I mean crying and fussing the whole time she's up unless I hold her.  She's been doing a little better lately and at least she has been eating baby food and drinking bottles very nicely for me.  Well, today after her mom leaves I am looking in the bag for baby food but nothing's there.  I call her to see what I should give the baby for lunch to which she says"Oh, we've been trying to get her off of baby food and just feed her whatever we eat."  I thought ok, I'll give it a try but of course just as I thought she had 3 tiny bites and she was done eating real food.  So on top of everything else today it just added to my frustration.  After lunch she was very crabby and I know she was hungry but since she won't eat anything I have there's nothing I can do.

I am just realizing every day how I'm ready to be done taking care of little ones.  I don't know how people can do it year after year, even after their own kids are grown and move out of the house.  I am at my limit now so I know this has to be my last year.  In a way it makes it more bearable when I have an awful day to think it's only for a little while longer.  I know it has been great for our kids to have playmates when they were toddlers/preschoolers but as they get older it is so hard to still have to deal with diapers, feeding, potty training and even having to have all that baby/toddler gear and toys around the house.  I just can't wait for the day when I give it all away but for now, we need it for the kids that come.

I'm thinking though that this doesn't even have as much to do with the kids as it has to do with a cabin fever that is hitting all of us right now.  With the Siberian temperatures for so long and being stuck inside every day, I think we're all losing it a little bit. Well, I know I am for sure.  At least we have that unfinished basement where kids run around, play basketball and burn some energy off.  I don't know what we'd do without it in the winter.  I keep watching the weather and for a week now we could see that this coming Sunday we will finally be in the 20s!  So we can't wait to do some ice skating outside that day and we better because the following weekend will be below 0 F again.

So, now that I complained to someone in the cyber world, I can go back to work. :)  Cheers and hope you're not suffering of a cabin fever like I am.

shelf

Here is our newest furniture addition that Ehren built for me this weekend.  I gave him all the dimensions and how I want it to look and it took him about half an hour to finish it.  Seems like for such a quick job he could be making lots of pieces for the house. :) The longest part about it was the staining which I love doing so I worked on that this Saturday.  I really wanted it to look light to kind of match our kitchen cabinets but even just the pre-stain liquid made it turn darker.  The stain I started with was making the bottom 2 shelves really red and I didn't like that because our kitchen cabinets are more natural/yellowish tone.  So we got another stain, a really dark one and I went to town with that on the 2 shelves.  Now I like how it turned out because it's dark enough that the redness doesn't show much.  I left the top shelf with just a sealer on to keep it as light in color as possible and we really like the look of it.  It has some dents and stuff because it is very old wood but it makes it look cool.

I just love creating our own piece of furniture/art for the house.  It always means so much more to me than anything else we buy in a store.  So this is kind of an early birthday present for me. :) I still have to find some storage baskets/trays for the top shelf where kids can have their homework/Awana(church books)/and miscellaneous crap that I can just put there and at the end of the day or week they all put each item where it belongs.  Somehow a portion of our counter top in the kitchen becomes a collection of toys/things from all around the house in a matter of one day so now, they can collect in the "crap baskets" and not on my counter. :)  We'll see if it helps, but at least I like getting a bit more organized.

It is funny how doing one project almost always leads to another, or at least you start thinking about a new one.  So I have at least 3 other projects in my head right now which I'd love for Ehren and I to make but I know, one thing at a time. :)

my electric heating blanket

If you live in the Northern MN like we do, if you don't already have one it must have crossed your mind to get an electric heating blanket.  We try to keep our temperature in the house warm enough in the winter but we still need to wear 2 layers of clothes.  During the day I'm never cold because I'm running around so much but for some reason, as the evening comes and I slow down I am freezing, especially right before going to bed.  So owning an electric heating blanket sounds really nice as you get under the cold covers.

Well, this winter I have my very own electric blanket - Ehren.  I must have complained about it enough but almost every night as we're getting ready to go to bed he lovingly jumps on my side of bed and warms it up for me.  Then when I get in the bed I can't help but give him a huge smile as he rolls over to his freezing side.  It just makes my heart melt that he'd do that for me again and again.  It's so sweet but partly I wonder if Ehren just wants to see my big smile because he's waiting for it every time. :)  You have to understand too, we sleep Euro style in our bed, which means we don't share a big comforter but have 2 separate blankets.  We love, love love having our own blanket and not fight over one as we do when we go somewhere, but it also means we have to mostly warm up the blankets with our own body heat, not sharing them.  So when Ehren warms up my blanket, his blanket is still Freezing cold, not like one big blanket would be. Which is why it means that much more to me that he does it.

I love being married, having someone to share our ups and downs with, someone to laugh with or yell with, having a helper and an encourager, and someone to warm my bed for me. :)  Stay warm wherever you are!

 

glamping

So Ehren and I have been introduced to "glamping" this weekend.  About 7 of us girls get together for each of our birthdays and do something fun.  Most of the times we combine 2 of our birthdays together so it's easier to get together.  Anyway, one of our friends had this idea for her birthday this weekend and with the help of 2 other friends they surprised us with a Glamping party and it was the first time we got together with our better halves too. :)  I have never heard of it but I guess it is a common thing to do now and I'm sure there is a lot on pinterest about it.  It is pretty much camping, out in the nature, under a tent but everything about it is glamorous like lights, candles, decorations and the food is very gourmet as if you were at a restaurant.

It was a very nice surprise and I loved all the lights and beautiful settings.  I only wished it was a bit warmer because it was in a shed that gets pretty cold in the winter and even with a nice heater in the middle we were still cold.  Well, I really wasn't cold because I had the best seat - right next to the heater but Ehren was thawing out in bed for a while last night. :)  The food was all really good and fancy, just like it should be at a glamping party.

We also got a ride on a trailer behind a snowmobile, under a blanket with a hot cocoa in our hands. :)  It was  cute and we had some good laughs going thru some bumps and some of us spilling cocoa on ourselves.  Our friends really worked hard to make the night special and I'm so thankful for them.  They are the reason that my head is above the water some days and some months. :)  Especially since I'm home most of my days and only have little kids as my companions it means a world to me to have a time off and get together with my friends.  With some of them we try to get together almost every Friday for a play date and we have lunch with all our kids.  It has meant so much to me to stay connected this way to other moms and just being able to talk thru what we're dealing with, struggling with, sharing our ups and downs is so nice.

So I'm not sure if I would ever try glamping on my own, it makes more sense to me to do it for special occasions like birthdays, engagement and stuff like that when you can share it with a bunch of people.  But if it's just us as a family, I really enjoy the simple camping,  sitting outside by the fire, chatting away, or just being quiet.

One of the girls is a photographer and she had her nice camera with so I stole her pictures from facebook to put on here. :)

Ehren and Chris

yummy hens

all the girls - just one was missing

 

M. I. A.

Well, it is confirmed.  My "teeth" are missing in action.  Ehren and I both had Friday off so we could get up early and spend a weekend with his sister Ingrid and her family.  It's been a while since we saw them and they weren't able to come for Christmas so we were all excited to spend some time with them.  Plus, Ehren hasn't seen their new house in Morris yet.

Well, Friday morning turned out to be quite the night mare of a morning.  We were all getting breakfast, while Ehren and I were packing some stuff but mostly I was in the kitchen.  My last memory of my poor retainer was as I was quickly taking bites of my toast.  I glanced at it sitting on the kitchen counter and thought to myself how I need to brush it out really well before we take off.  And ever since then, it is just GONE.  As soon as I realized I couldn't find it I went into panic mode.  Just crying, getting angry and looking everywhere frantically.  Ehren and I  spent the next hour searching every inch of the kitchen and then the rest of the house where I was that morning but no luck.  Then both him and I went thru the trash 3 times just to make sure.  Still nothing.  At one point I just sat down on the floor and cried. :)

But then I realized something.  I'm not going to find it anyway so I might as well just suck it up and get on our trip to see Ingrid even with my huge gap of 2 missing teeth in the front.  I was not going to let the stupid retainer ruin our weekend.  So we got everything in the van and started our trip.  I was still feeling really sorry for myself and very self conscious about leaving the house like that so I cried for a while. :)

And then I opened the book that Jessica let me borrow called "Kisses from Katie" and the tears almost never stopped. :)  Not because of my stupid self pity party but because it is an amazing story of how a young girl devotes her life to Jesus and lives for others.  Katie comes from a pretty well-off family in the US but chose to live in Uganda as a 19 year old, taking care of hundreds of orphans and has adopted 16 of them by the time she was 21.  Just her describing the poverty and death these little children live in every day makes you cry and me worrying about missing teeth seemed so trivial all of a sudden.  So stupid and pathetic.  Most often than not I don't put much emphasis on my physical appearance and wearing sweat pants and absolutely no makeup is my usual but somehow talking to people with this huge gap in my teeth makes me feel very self conscious.

But I think God made me read that book to open my eyes and see how trivial my "problem" is.  There are kids who are dying of starvation and disease every minute and I worry about some missing teeth?  It really humbled me right on the spot.  We just have so much here in the US and don't even know it.  This Katie talks about how she loves it there because people in Uganda have nothing yet they have such joy in their lives, praising God day in and day out.  They are fully dependent on Him and us because we are so self sufficient just don't need God as much (or so we believe) and so our lives are so much emptier and lacking joy.  Reading it made me think about my life and how much I take for granted.  How much of my time in a day is spent on stupid, empty things.  How little I serve God, how little I give and how little I care about people around me.  It is very eye opening and I'm so glad I got to read this book.

Now we're back from Ingrid'd house and it's almost time for kids to go to bed.  Still no retainer.  I went thru that trash one more time to make sure it wasn't hiding in there but no, it's not there.  Ehren and I can't believe how it would just disappear.  Tomorrow I have all the kids coming to our house and I was hoping to find it by then but I guess I'll have to stay toothless for a while yet and practice some real humility.  The thing is too that in about 2-3 weeks I am scheduled to get my permanent teeth in and I'm thinking I will have to suck it up and stay this way until then.  I'll call my dentist in the morning to find out what to do but I already know I don't want to pay for a new retainer that will only be for 2 weeks or so.

So that is my story about this weekend.  We had a great time with Ingrid and her girls.  Brent had to work at a hospital so we only saw him briefly but it was so nice to hang out with them.  They have a new kitten so all the kids including Ehren loved cuddling with it.  And our kids finally did some sledding because they have more snow than we do.  It was just a nice relaxing weekend which I probably would have spent taking our house apart looking for my retainer,  feeling miserable, if we stayed home.

Christmas weekend

As I woke up this morning, sore throat and a heavy head I had one wish - to have no daycare kids today.  They were supposed to come but 2 families have a day off so it was going to be just one little boy and I just got a call that he's not coming either.  It is like another present to me - another day to myself and only our kids!  All 3 kids have been feeling under the weather the last 2 days or so too so it's good we can have a day of rest.  Of course, the kids woke up this morning and after realizing no daycare kids are coming they were really disappointed.  I'm glad they love having their little friends over, even if they're 2 years old and can't play with them.  I'm a little surprised that even Kade misses the little kids when there's no school and enjoys time with them when they do come.  This last summer when his best friend that I watched was moving away Kade told me that I just need to get a new friend for him to play with. :)  Because that is the reason I do daycare, to provide friends to our kids.  It really worked great though when our kids were small and had buddies to play with and share their toys with.  Now, that Kason is heading into kindergarten next Fall it is getting a lot harder to watch little ones because our kids are not here most of the time and it feels strange.  So it will soon be time for a different adventure for me and even though it's a bit scary I'm also looking forward to something different.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about Christmas.  It was a very nice and quiet Christmas weekend for us.  I spent most of Saturday and Sunday in the kitchen, cooking and baking but I don't mind.  Food is a big part of my family's traditions and it means a lot to have the same food I grew up with, even if it doesn't taste exactly the same. :)  We always have some fish fillet and potato salad.  I make several of our favorite treats including my mom's walnut rolls which I love to have with coffee.  I decided to make a double batch this year and I made 8 rolls so I can freeze them and give some away.  So really, that took a good chunk of my Saturday but it was really worth it.

showing their tickets

We started the weekend with a fun outing with the kids and Emily slept over so she came with us.  We had a surprise for our kids and after we watched the Elf movie they got a note saying they need to put on their pyjamas and find a ticket by their bed.  It was a ticket for a "Minivan Express" and they had to bring it to the conductor mom & dad.  After they got it checked they were able to get a little puff corn bag and get on the special ride.  Then we drove around our town for a while looking at the Christmas lights.  We found a new one this year that had automated lights programmed to a radio station that played fun songs so that was fun to watch for awhile.  The kids really enjoyed it even though Kade is on the verge of being too old for it and thought it was a bit cheezy. :)

Monday was Christmas Eve and we had a nice quiet day at home.  Kason and Anika couldn't wait for the angels to come and bring presents to us.  For a while Kason was confused about Santa because that's all he heard at school and they even had a Santa come there and he talked to him.  He asked Santa for a green lantern (a super hero) which he never mentioned until then so I had to quick find one in a store or else he'd be one disappointed boy.  He kept asking how are the angels going to know he wants the green lantern if he told it to Santa.  So we had several talks about how Santa is just made up but angels are real and God tells them what we want because He knows everything.  That made Kason happy and I think in the end he and Anika really like the thought of angels coming.  At our house, we go to church on Christmas Eve and while we're there singing to God that is when angels come to our house and deliver the presents.  So when we were singing at church Anika asked me :"are the angels coming to our house now?" :)

I found this Christmas Story puzzle this year and I thought it's a great tradition to make it on Christmas Eve.  It recites the story from Luke in the Bible so while you're working on the puzzle you have to think about all the words written there which is neat.  Kade did most of it by himself and we just keep it out so we can see it the whole Christmas.

Seeing what angels brought

Presents time is always exciting for our kids and even though we try to keep the focus off of the gifts, I think it's ok for them to be excited about it.  It is only a short time the kids keep their excitement and joy of opening gifts so why ruin it by somehow suggesting that it is bad and selfish being that way.  I think Jesus smiles down when he sees the little children full of joy and excitement and He wants us to be more like them yet so often we want to make kids into mini adults.  We talk about selfishness a lot with Kade because he understands it a lot and sometimes only thinks of himself and what's in it for him.  So when I was shopping with him one day I asked him if he should buy something for Kason and Anika with his own money that he has been saving.  At first he had a hard time with it but then he was excited to pick the right gift for both Kason and Anika and that was really nice to see.  We need to do a lot more with our kids to show them how to be givers and servants.

the green lantern :)

pop beads

very excited about his first bb gun

Kason got a gun so he's not left out :)

kids are having fun shooting each other, it came with 2 guns.
Ehren and I had fun shooting each other too :)

And in the light of the tragedy just a week ago, here we are with guns for our boys' presents. :)  I know a lot of people would really frown upon it but I don't care.   A lot of people are speaking up about the guns laws now but they will not solve anything, people will just find another way to hurt and destroy.   Every boy has a little warrior's heart in him, that's how he was created and it's ok.  If their heart is in the right place and they know who they serve they will always "fight" for the great cause.  Kade has some little  buddies that have bb guns so he's been waiting and waiting to be able to get one so he can go in our woods and shoot things.  He thought he might get one on his next birthday but since it's at the end of the summer we surprised him with it now.  I'm actually very excited to do some target shooting with him because I haven't shot guns since middle school when I stopped the summer biathlon (running races where you stop and target shoot and depending on how you shoot you would have time added to your running time).  I loved target shooting and I can see Kade will really like it.


It was kind of funny to see that a big hit of a present wasn't something they've been wanting and it was just a cheap art project kind of gift but both Kade and Anika just loved the mosaic stickers and were really excited about it.  I'm glad something so simple can be exciting to them, still at 9 years old.  The main reason I got it was for Kason to work on his fine motor skills but he was too excited to play with his toys to do it on Christmas Eve while Anika started crying when she had to go to bed before she finished her picture.


On Tuesday morning we got up early and headed to the cabin for the Hanson Christmas brunch.  We were missing Ingrid's family but the rest of the cousins were there and had a great time playing together.  Too bad it was so cold out because they only lasted outside for a bit.  But Kade and Anika got to do some ice fishing with papa and they loved that.  It was nice to visit for a bit even if it was pretty short because we all had to go home in the evening as most of us had to go to work today.  It shows that I was just enjoying my time and relaxing because I didn't take any pictures there.

And now Christmas is done and I'm just glad I have a day to clean up and do laundry with no kids to take care of.  I mean other than my kids :) but they are going to be very busy all day playing with their presents.  This weekend we're going to visit Brent and Ingrid and the cousins so we're excited to see them.  It's always so much fun to visit them.  
    

Christmas concert

Yes!!!  We are finally done!  It is a huge relief to be done with this year's Christmas concert at church.  It is a really stressful time for Ehren who is running the sound for everyone, from little toddlers to adult choir with solos and millions of instruments.  It is kind of sad that he doesn't get acknowledged for his work at all, all those practices he has to be there for, all those complaints from singers/musicians he has to fix and work on.  He does it gladly though because he is good at it and likes it, but at the same time it is very stressful and we all feel it at home :) and I know it would make him feel so good if he got thanked for it as much as they thank places that let us use some of their lights. :)

I can't really compare my little stress with his but to me it is a big deal to get our little 4-6 year olds ready for their Christmas program.  The last 3 Sunday school hours we worked on our video which turned out really cute.  The kids were acting out the story of Christmas.  I had an idea in my head I wanted to portray but pretty soon realized we had to simplify it because we can only do so much in one hour that we have with those kids.

But the main thing was to teach the kids a new song that they've never heard before and even though it is an easy song, with just a few Sundays of practicing that doesn't give us much time so I was very nervous about it.  Plus, we not only had to do our little program one night, we had to bring the kids there 2 nights in a row because that is what the leadership decided.  None of us moms and teachers were happy about this but who listens to us?  Well, since it was too late in the game to do anything about it we had to suck it up but I am getting ready to write a letter to change it for next year.  When something doesn't make sense and other people feel the same way I do you can count on me for being the voice of change. :)

But, I have to say all the kids did so well considering everything, being tired and nervous.  Anika was singing the loudest, she was so cute and I was so proud because not that long ago she started crying during her school program.  All the kids were really cute and I just loved the song I stumbled upon and the meaning behind it.  Kids especially are so focused on gifts at Christmas time so I thought it is just really fitting to sing about a gift to God.  What would God want for a present when He has everything already?  The answer is us, each and every one of us, living for Him is the best gift we can give to God.  And so our little kids wore a big present around their body to show that they are a gift to God and sang "I'll give God me this Christmas".  That song just makes me smile every time.  Of course, I couldn't find sheet music for it anywhere but thank goodness Audrey (Ehren's mom) is such a good pianist she could just pick it up by listening to it a few times on you tube.  She is so good at it and when we mess up she just brings the song back to where we are with our singing so it worked wonderfully.  We did mess up the first night because the kids got confused with one line and they were a bit scared and not watching me but the second time they did great.  So I'm just really proud of them and it feels like all those stressful Sundays when they would all rather be playing than singing are worth it.  I like coming up with different things for them to do for a program because when Kade was little the kids sang the same exact songs year after year and that gets a bit boring.

It is heart breaking to know that 20 kids about the same age as the kids in our Sunday School won't be home for Christmas next week.  Yet, I just realized as I was thinking about our kids' song that those little children get the best present this Christmas - being in God's presence and in the best imaginable place they could be.  God gets to hold them, comfort them, take care of them and they get to be worry free and pain free.  God doesn't want these ugly things of this world to make us fearful and worried because He's all we need and no death nor anything can separate us from Him.  So I will put my Hope in Him and pray that our kids can grow strong in their faith and keep their eyes on Jesus.  

Below are a couple videos of the Christmas program.  The big kids did some great songs too and since it takes so long to upload it to you tube I'll only post one of those.


Christmas Story:


Kason and Anika's SS class:





Kade's SS program - last song: