Happy 2015!

Christmas was very nice and quiet.  It was different to not hear the cousins squeal and laugh together but it was nice for our family to spend some time together, just the 5 of us.  As Kade's getting older, he wants to hang out with his friends more and more and it was nice to have all of us together and nowhere to rush to or go.

For New Years Eve we went to our friends' house from church.  There were a few kids there and adults and it was nice visiting with them for a while.  We didn't stay too late because we wanted to ring to the New Year at home if the kids were able to stay up and surprisingly all 3 of them wanted to wait for the 2015, I think just so they can say they did it. :) And it was the first time in a long time they all finally slept in and so did we.  It is nice to have a relaxing day together, getting a few things done around the house.

And I finally have some time to sit down and ponder on my last year and the year that's ahead.  It was a great year and my highlight was definitely our anniversary trip to California and going to the North Shore as a family.  I'm so thankful for everything God has given me and has blessed me with because I don't deserve any of it.

I also started my new job this last Fall and that has brought its own blessings and challenges.  I still cannot believe I was able to stumble upon this job, how God dropped it in my lap with a smile.  The pay is not great but I really enjoy the job and the people I work with, which is only 3 right now and will always stay small.  In a couple months I will start working full-time and I'm a bit worried about having less time to juggle things outside of work but at the same time, it really won't be that different than what I do now.  I feel so blessed with how flexible they are and understanding if I need to take time off for kids and different things.  Ehren does not have that freedom in his job so it really is a blessing for our family.  The kids have been busy with basketball and Anika does Just for Kix which is sort of like a dance class.  Kade has been working really hard on his basketball skills and has improved a lot.  He's getting a lot more confident and that's great to see.  His little heart wants nothing more than to make it to the traveling team, which they pick 10 best players from the team at the end of the season and those 10 go on practicing and playing many more games. After last year he understands that life is not fair and he doesn't always get what he wants even when he earned it but he's still very hopeful and driven which is great to see.

There has also been something that is emotionally wearing me down since the beginning of the school year.  I haven't talked about it because I don't even know where to begin.  Basically, I found out one of my closest friends is suffering from certain mental illness which she has hidden perfectly well but she has hurt 3 of my good friends recently and it is still not resolved.  Just right before Christmas she sent me a message detailing all the things she's done to one of the friends and how justified she was in all that.  She accused me of total betrayal and how we can never be friends again.  At the same time, they go to our church and that makes it much worse.  It has brought confusion and disruption to my small circle of the closest friends and even when I try not to let it bother me it is there and wearing me down.  This was my good friend who I loved and who I'd do anything for and in a way it feels like losing someone.  Ehren told me not to even reply back to her, that I just have to let her go.  And that's what I did but it's still hard and if I ever walk by her she doesn't even look at me.  The few close friends that know about it are praying for her and we all hope she will admit to herself that she needs to find help. Her husband is staying by her side and won't talk to anybody about it so there's really nothing we can do other than pray.  It is just all very sad and why it's so hard on me is that I don't have many friends but the ones I do have I cherish dearly and seeing my small circle of friends disrupted is painful.  I know God sees us and it will be ok, but I think a lot of my distancing from things recently has to do with this. It will take some time to heal and move on.

So I pray the new 2015 brings hope and healing.  Besides other things, I want to really strive to be a better friend, there's always someone who's lonely and could use a good friend.  Sometimes we get so focused or comfortable with our best friends that we don't see the ones that really need someone in their life.  I want to be more available to people, to my family and friends.  It means so much more than the material things we give.

Blessings to you in the 2015, wherever you are!  May your year be full of joy and peace that spreads to everyone around you!