a City Girl In Not So Much a City

There have been a few occasions in my life where I have learned that you can never say NEVER, but there is one that I won't forget.  When Ehren and I got married and we started our life in the suburbs of the cities (Minneapolis), I pretty much proclaimed to him that I never want to live in Thief River Falls.  Well, that "never" took about 6 years and Ehren's job took us right here to a small town way up north.  It was very much a mutual decision too and despite everything I know God lead us here.

Even though it's been years since I lived in the heart of a city in Slovakia, I still am very much a city girl at heart and I think I always will be.  I love being able to walk to just about anything you can think of, have endless possibilities and choices to do with the kids, and just the culture you get with it.  So I know most people are thinking why in the world do you live where you live then.  There are many days I ask the same question, and some days (usually while pms-ing) the tears accompany those thoughts. :)  It's been almost 5 years now since we moved up here and just writing it I can't believe it because honestly, I am still very much adjusting to our life here.  Cold, no - I mean Freezing and looong winters is just one thing.  A tiny town with not many choices for shopping, entertaining or activities for kids is another thing.  But people is what is the hardest of all.  Most people who grew up here are very different than the city people I know.  Of course, you get the Minnesota nice everywhere you go, where people smile at you and ask how you are when they meet you (by the way, they are ALWAYS doing great when you ask) but really, I even have a hard time knowing whether my friendship means anything to most of them mainly because so many of them keep to themselves so much.  The longer I live here, though, the more I start to understand that I have to just accept them the way they are and find those few people that, like me, have moved up here from a city (or those handful of exceptions to the rule) and feel isolated like me.  I hate when people form clicks mainly because I've been excluded too many times out of them, but somehow I feel like the only hope for me to have great, close friendships is to find "my kind" of girls. :)  I finally found a few and they are such a blessing to my life, just knowing they're here and knowing they can relate to what I'm going through means a world to me.

On the contrary, I don't mean to say that living in the country is bad or that it has no value and that all the people living here are a bunch of rednecks.  People are just different but I think a big part of it is what you do with your life right where you are, where God put you.  Are you willing to step out of the comfort zone and reach out to that person that may turn into your best friend?  I am very thankful for being able to stay home with our kids here, to not have to worry about the dangers of a big city, and especially I am thankful for no traffic on the way to and home from work.  I'm also thankful we don't have too many shopping choices since it makes me spend a lot less and at the same time am so thankful for Amazon's free shipping because if I need to buy something I usually find it online.

So, small town or not, this is where I live.  This is where my children are growing up and I just hope I can live in a way that they grow up to appreciate all there is to this life, especially the culture I come from.  And in the end, I hope I can say I used the "talents" God gave me instead of burying them in the ground because I didn't get to live in that greener pasture.