My Gall Bladder Story

This is a pretty long post but I wanted to remember all the things about my little  ordeal.
  
This year I got an early birthday gift - having my gall bladder removed.  It was as far from an exciting event in my life as can be but a memorable one.  My whole life I haven't had anything done to my body other than a few stitches and giving birth to 3 children.  Not even a broken bone so this was very different for me and a bit scary too.  Now that it's over, I think I would take giving birth over any surgery out there. :)    

Well, I recently found out that having your gall bladder removed is a very common thing and just talking to people I couldn't believe how many have theirs removed.  Is this organ even necessary if all it does is cause problems?  I guess the attacks and gall bladder problems mostly happen to people who are overweight and eat a lot of greasy food, but it can happen to anyone and out of all people it happened to me! To me, who's in perfect health. :)

It happened the weekend after Christmas when our family was staying with us.  I had a bad gall bladder attack in the middle of the night.  It woke me up and I could barely breath.  I had this horrible chest pain and thought I was having a heart attack.  Well, I knew it wasn't a heart attack because the pain was under my rib cage, but if I imagine a heart attack that's what it would feel like.  I tried to wait it out at home and see if it would go away but it got worse so Ehren took me to the ER.  They took my blood from which the doctor didn't think anything major was happening so they didn't run any other tests.  I got morphine for the pain and was sent home.  The next whole day I was out of it and I'm not sure if it was from the morphine or recovering from the gall bladder shock or what.  The pain subsided a lot but it was there for the next 2 weeks and I was able to experience our clinic at it's best.

The ER doctor told me if I still have pain the next day to come in and get an ultrasound done.  But to get an ultrasound I had to come in to see my doctor first.  He, of course, was way overbooked so I waited 2 hours to see him just so he would order an ultrasound for me.  But to fit in for the ultrasound I had to wait 2 more days.  Finally I came in and I was glad the technician told me a little bit about what she saw.  She said there were 2 pretty big sized gall stones in the gall bladder and she thought they would probably want to do a surgery.  So I went home and waited about a week until my doctor sent me a letter stating I should come in to discuss my options.  I pretty much knew he was just going to recommend me to a surgeon so I left messages everywhere to just please call me and finally his nurse did and all she said was that I need to go see the surgeon who will tell me about the surgery.  So off I went, to another appointment where I found out the only recommended option for me was to have the gall bladder removed.  I didn't have to get it done and people live with gall stones their whole life but once you have an episode it will most likely happen again and it could be worse.  My main thing was that I didn't want to risk getting the gall bladder inflamed or something major for which I'd have to go to the ER and be at the mercy of our small town doctors.  I heard enough of the horror stories from that so I decided I would go under the knife now when the gall bladder is at a calm state.  So this was a big step for me, having an organ removed.  At least it is done laparoscopically, with 3 small incisions and pulling the gall bladder out right under the belly button.

So off we went on Friday morning (yesterday), to have Dr. Gutierrez remove my gall bladder.  I was pretty nervous to be put to sleep, such a strange feeling, but mainly I was nervous about the healing of it and me being able to take care of the kiddos at home.  A lot of people told me they couldn't lift much for 2 weeks after that and I wasn't sure how that would go with my 21 pound baby that I watch every day.

I was prepared for a lot of pain, but nothing like when I woke up.  They hooked me up to the IV when I got there and then wheeled me into the operating room.  There was a guy waiting right away to put me to sleep and all I remember is that I saw this funny looking pillow and I think the second I laid my head on it I was out.  The next thing I remember was doctor G. and nurse calling my name, telling me to wake up and that everything went great.  I had a really hard time waking up but when I finally did, I felt really nauseous and full of gas they pump you up with.  I knew it would have to get out of my body but I wasn't prepared for so much pressure, up in my shoulders, chest, stomach, just everywhere.  The doctor doing the surgery said everything went great and that it was a good thing we got it out because the gallbladder was a little inflamed and I'm not sure which part of it but something was twisted in there which was causing problems on top of the stones.  So it made me feel a little better to know I didn't go through all that for nothing. 

We got home around 11am and for the rest of the day I just lay in bed because whenever I would get up I was really nauseous.  The pain from the incisions didn't even hurt, it was mainly the gas that bothered me.  But today I woke up and it is much better, I'm able to walk around and not feel like fainting.  Now that the gass pain is a lot smaller I also feel the stomach hurt more but it's not too bad.  It feels like someone punched me in my stomach really hard, over and over. :)

Ehren was Mr. mom for a while yesterday and his mom helped us with all the kids when he was with me so that was very nice.  I just thought last night before going to sleep, how many moms who are going through cancer or something really bad feel like I felt every day and they have to manage through, being there for their kids, house and everything.  I felt completely useless, just a rag lying down on the couch or bed so it makes me very thankful for the health I have and for all the things I am able to do.
     

here's a pretty gross picture to remember the scars.  I have to keep that one bandage on for 3 days and none of the incisions even have stitches, just the glue.

Steel Cut Oats

I really wish I would have tried the steel cut oats sooner.  They are very tasty and heart warming.  It is similar to regular oatmeal but the texture is totally different and it is a bit tricky to make because the steel cut oats are so hard and crunchy.  First you sauté the oats in butter (I add a dash of cinnamon), then add boiling water, stir it once in a while, and when that water is all gone you add some milk.  Then you keep stirring it until the milk is almost all gone and you have nice soft oats.  I also add some brown sugar with the milk.  If we have bananas, that's the best with some more cinnamon but I just had a little bit with my home-made apricot marmalade and it was awesome. 

It is funny because out of Ehren and I it is me who is more health conscious about what we eat and stuff and yet once in a while he will be the one who brings home something out of the blue that is very healthy, like the steel cut oats.  I didn't even know we could buy them here in our dinky town with hardly any grocery store options.  So now I make this oatmeal in the evening and refrigerate the leftovers for Ehren to have for breakfast and it stays good for days.  You just add a bit of milk and warm it up when you want to eat it.  Because, of course, who has half an hour to make a bowl of oatmeal before going to work? :)

Well, I just had to write about my discovery.  It was a very pleasant bowl of oatmeal with a total silence in the house since the kids already went to bed.  Now it is time to soak in my tub, which is where I can day dream, think out loud, pray, cry and hopefully get renewed for the next day.     

Zumba

It is just a regular Saturday morning, with no big plans.  I get up, get the kids breakfast at 7am because they can never sleep past that time.  I eat some toast with my coffee and head out into the cold, ready to hit the Zumba class even though I haven't done any working out since before Christmas.  I am so glad I got my butt out of the house in this freezing weather.  I feel recharged, refreshed, motivated and ready for the weekend.  Working out with a group of women is also what adds to it.  You can't slack off, you have to try your hardest and you feel like you are doing it with friends all around you.

I have been introduced to this funky exercise style a few months ago.  I'm sure most people have heard about it, it's becoming very popular in the US with a lot of Zumba studios starting.  It is basically dancing, combining sort of hip hop, latino and funky dance moves.  Mostly I think it's supposed to be Latino style, very much belly and butt twisting. :)

So first of all, I am so NOT a dancer.  Even though I attended one short course of ballroom dancing, I am so far from knowing how to move right it's not even funny.  I have the hardest time following choreography and it takes me quite a while to finally get the steps.  It is funny because watching our little Ani at her first experience of a dance class, I totally saw myself in her.  She couldn't follow the teacher's moves because the teacher was facing the kids and Anika had a very hard time following the mirror image she saw, exactly my problem once the steps get a little tricky.

But, despite the fact of me being such a poor dancer I always liked dancing to a good upbeat music, especially when I knew no one was watching. :)  I haven't done it much for a while though until I went to the Zumba class, and I think it brought it back to life in me.  For example, the last time I was running on the treadmill this great Gypsy Kings song came on on my mp3 player and suddenly running fast wasn't enough.  So I jumped off and started crazy dancing all over our basement just having a blast.  Kason and Anika just stared at this crazy lady at first (mostly because only I could hear the music I was dancing to) but soon they joined in and were dancing all around me.  I love coming up with my own moves and just move to the music because that way I get the best workout from it and at the end of a song I am totally out of breath.  And that's what Zumba is trying to accomplish, having a fun time while getting exercise.

Even though I personally need a lot more out of my workouts than Zumba alone can give me, I really like doing it on top of running and strength training (which I really haven't been able to do lately).  Especially during our COOOLD winters when the only option is to run on the boring treadmill, Zumba brings such a fun variation to my week.  I always feel so good after doing it and it motivates me to do more.  So today I am going to be thankful for what I have in our tiny town.  No fancy health clubs with childcare (which is almost the #1 thing I miss about the cities), but there are things I can do like Zumba or ice skating or cross country skiing and I have to treasure that and have our kids treasure it with me.  

Nap Time

Those stay home moms of multiple children know exactly what I am talking about.  The 2 words of little piece of Heaven in the midst of a crazy day of blurr - nap time.  Ahhh, just the sound of it makes me smile and go to my happy place.:) 

Some days, the morning is filled with changing overflowing poopy diapers, feeding bottles, feeding baby cereal, playing with blocks, coloring, playing with play dough, making lunch, cleaning up after lunch, trying to do a couple loads of laundry in between, cleaning up all the toys with the kids, reading books, singing, and then running around like a mad man the last half hour to try the best so Finally, all 4 kiddos are down for a nap at the same time.  And I can breathe.  I can listen to some Sarah Groves, read an encouraging blog, have my 2nd cup of coffee, talk to God, and just soak up the quietness.  There are days like today, when I am getting over a cold and all my body wants to do is rest, take a long nap and those days are when I pretty much live for the nap time.  It is one of those tiny pleasures that keep me insane some days.  I really feel the pain of the moms whose children won't nap, no matter the age.  I have friends whose children won't sleep for more than 30-45 minutes and I really don't know how I would deal with that.  All of our kids have been taking at least 2 hour naps and that is just heavenly.  Until the last couple of weeks, that is, when our youngest Kason decided he never wants to go to sleep.

All of a sudden he's fighting going to bed at nap time and at night as if we were putting him to jail or something.  So this morning my husband very thoughtfully asked if maybe we should stop his naps and that he would probably go to bed at night really easily.  I am pretty sure I gave him a look as if he was going to rob me of the most precious thing in the world.  There is no way I'm ready for him to stop napping at 2 and a half years old.  Noooo!  At least a few more months of the little piece of Heaven in the middle of the day, please.

So here I go, sitting in the quiet kitchen for a little bit longer, sipping my coffee and recharging.  

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

ice skating

Kade has been wanting to go skating for weeks now but since we can never do it during the week, weekends are the only times to do it and somehow all of our weekends have been too busy or we were too sick or the weather was too bad to go.  Anika has never gone ice skating before but she has some borrowed skates  this year and she's been wanting to try it so bad.  I was trying to explain to her 4 year old mind that even though it looks pretty to skate like those figure skater girls on tv, it is way too hard to do it and it takes a lot of practice.

So finally today came when I promised the two of them I would take them ice skating.  At 0 degrees Fahrenheit (-18 C) I didn't think it would work to go to the outside rink, but there was going to be public skating at the big indoor arena in town so that was my plan.  But when we got there it was pretty clear we are not going to do any skating today since some high school kids were having a big tournament all weekend, which somehow didn't get to be put on the arena schedule.

In order to not disappoint 2 very excited kids, the only thing to do was to go to the outside rink.  It has a nice warming house at least, so it can't be that bad, I was trying to tell myself.  I purposely didn't put my warmer pants on and didn't wear my nice warm gloves because I would be too hot inside.  Anika didn't wear her snow pants either but I thought ok, we're already in town, all ready to skate we might as well just try it for a little bit.

I am so glad I listened to that inner voice because both Kade and Anika had so much fun.  Kade was just cruising fast around the little rink and I was really surprised at how Anika was able to stand on the skates and not just flopping all over the place.  She did really great for her first time.  We went inside to the warming house 2 or 3 times, mainly because my fingers were frozen and I had to try to warm them up so I could move my hands.  At first we tried using the guard rail for Anika but towards the end she just held on my hand and was able to skate that way.  Next time I think I might be able to get my skates on and skate around with her.  

It is just amazing sometimes how these tiny things we do with our kids mean so much to their little hearts.  And how much it gives them in terms of being active, doing stuff outside rather than sit at home and do the same things they always do. 

On the way home, I was thinking how nice it would be for our whole family to go skating together one day.  I know it won't be too far from now because our big Kason will pick it up quick.  He was napping today while we went but next year he should be able to start.   I love my growing family, every stage seems to be better and better along with the feelings of sadness that they are growing up too fast and that they won't need us any more.  It's just life.

I am I

It is funny because I think we define who we are our whole life and it changes so much.  I am still trying to figure out who exactly I am and I am hoping this blog is a way for me to find that and see my life more clearly.

I am a believer
I am very thankful for my parents, bringing me up in a Christian home where besides my family I grew up with my family of believers.  It is so nice to know that God loves me the way I am, with all the bad and ugly.  Even though my walk is many times not as steady and fast as I'd like, I want to live my life for Him and more than anything I want our children to grow up knowing their Father and following Jesus.  A friend once said that even if she doesn't teach her children anything else, but she teaches them about love for Jesus it will be enough and she is so right.  Sometimes it is hard to remember that when my day gets out of hand and I am so focused on what needs to get done around the house, or the food that needs to be prepared that I miss so many opportunities to teach about what really matters in this world.   

I am a wife.
Even if we have our struggles like any other married couple (sometimes probably more than other couples), I love being married.  I love having a man by my side who takes care of me, who I can count on and who is my best friend.  I have so much to learn to be a better wife and you'd think after 11 years I would get somewhat better at it, but the truth is there is not a week that goes by when I don't hurt my husband in some way.  It is an ongoing road of falling and then getting up again, preferably in each other's arms and having passionate sex. :)

I am a mom.
We have 3 beautiful children, Kade is 7, Anika 4 and Kason is 2 and a half.  I love being a mom, watching them grow and become their own little persons.  It's hard with Kade right now because sometimes it feels like he's growing up way too fast for me and I'm just trying to catch up to him.  I love that I have a daughter amongst the boys and she is such a sweet girl.  She too is growing up fast and is in the phase of wanting to grow up so bad right now, as she tells me every day.  Our little Kason is only 19 months younger than Anika and they are becoming very close, playing together all the time and I love watching the two of them becoming such good friends.  Of course, there are the screams and tantrums and bad attitudes, but overall they are such great kids and we're both so proud of them.

I am a daycare provider
I never pictured myself doing this.  I have a business degree and love the fast pace of a business/office, where I can challenge my brain.  I really loved my job in the cities, working at a financial planning firm.  Even if not everything was great, it was very challenging, never dull and I worked with some pretty amazing people.  So coming from that to staying home was a huge adjustment.  Like every mom I was feeling guilty for being away from our son so much during the week and I couldn't really work part-time to have the best of both worlds so here I am.  I started watching my niece about a year and a half ago, then a couple of friend's children and so I slowly started a daycare business.  I am not willing to have the maximum amount of kids allowed - 10 which is just ridiculous.  So right now I have 7 kids total, including 3 of mine.  It is going well now, but it took a couple of months of adjusting to 2 infants.  Now the babies are 6 and 7 months old and are generally easily entertained by the other kids.  There are good and bad things about it but the good way outweigh the bad.  I am very thankful that I am able to stay home with our kids this way and I am also very thankful for our kids to have good friends to play with when it would be boring for them with just us.  It also makes me stay very much scheduled during the day and I like that because it helps all the kids with their attitude and behavior.  I am not sure how long I'll be doing this and I know I will want to explore my options outside of home once the kids are in school, but for now this is my job and I'll take it.  Sure, we all have those days when all the kids are crabby and all I can do at the end of the day is to sit down or go to bed and not think about or do anything else.  And then there are other days when my Anika and my niece Emily get so excited about picking up all the toys in 3 rooms by themselves and showing me what they did, or watching the kids hug and say they love each other and it's all worth it.

I am a runner
Not a very good one, but still I love running and I love having friends who love to run, even though we never get together to run together.  This last year it's been more difficult than ever to stay on the schedule for working out and running but I still managed to run a half marathon in September.  I wanted to beat 2 hours and I got 2:01.  I was so mad that I was that close, but even before the race I knew making it would be a miracle with the amount of training I did and with the few long runs I ran so really it was a big accomplishment for me.  I love reading runner's advice on training for races and stuff and just reading it gets me so motivated about starting to train.  I am probably going to try the half marathon again this year and some day I really want to repeat the full marathon, hopefully before I'm too old to do it.  Right now I don't see it happening only because to do it I'd have to devote every weekend in the summer to the training and with small children it is very hard to do.  I ran my first marathon in 2005 and it was just an amazing experience so I would really love to do it again.

I am an artist
Again, even worse than I am a runner :) but nevertheless I'd call myself that because I love creating new things.  I love painting on canvases when I get an inspiration in my head and when I have time for it in my busy life.  So far it has been all for our house.  I love thinking of new ideas for a painting, or changing wall colors.  I painted both of our kids' rooms recently and I really like how they turned out just like I imagined them to.  I do love interior design/decorating but I really don't know if I could do it for a living.  Mainly because I always want to create my own unique space and I would not want to create something that is so far off from what I like. :)  I don't think anyone would ever think of me as an artist, but that's ok.  I don't think it matters what the accomplishments of it are as long as it is something I love doing, that brings me joy and is a way for me to express myself.

I am an extrovert
a rather strange one because I can be very shy with new people or can have the hardest time to open up to someone I don't know very well.  But once I have closer friends it means the world to me to spend time with them, vent, laugh, cry and just visit together.  I am a totally different person after I get together with a good friend.  Life makes more sense, I get recharged and encouraged by just being with them.

I am I.  Just an ordinary Slovak girl.  A child of God.  A daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, cook, maid, teacher, personal shopper, decorator, nurse,...How many hats do you wear?  We all have so many things we do and so many are overlooked every day and it's ok.  We just go on and hopefully we can guide our children in the right direction so they can grow up to who God wants them to be.

How Two Became One

Since our story is sort of like from a movie (you don't think people actually get together and stay together that way) I thought I'd write about me and Ehren.  I am a Slovak immigrant and lived there my first 20 years of life, until I got married and moved far, far away from my people. :)  Yes, I was very young when I got married and looking back I don't know how my mom let me get married that young, I would have a very hard time with that if it was my daughter.  Yet, at the same time I know during those years apart it felt like forever long and I couldn't wait to finally be able to be with Ehren every day.  This will probably be a very abbreviated story, but just to get a glimpse of our past. 

My first trip to the states was when I was just 16 years old and I really wanted to experience a year away from home as an exchange student and to improve my English.  I found a host family through a missionary friend that I met in Slovakia and that was the beginning of my adventure.  Little did I know my host family will one day become my real family.  I met Ehren just a few weeks after I came to the states at his younger brother's wedding.  It was nothing like love at first sight and we were just goofy together that time but somehow over the next few months the friendship turned into more and then more.  It was all fun and excitement then, being in love for the first time (for me), but when it was time for me to leave back home it was awful.  Neither of us knew what would happen to our relationship but we knew we loved each other.  So it was to e-mails once or twice a day, VERY expensive phone calls a couple times a month until Ehren got way too frustrated with not seeing the end of the tunnel and suggested to split up.  That broke my heart but somehow it didn't last too long because we got back together that summer when I came to visit him over my summer break.  That is when Ehren decided to come visit me and see the country and family I came from.  He was thinking at first he would come for 2 weeks but my dad pretty much told him he has to come for at least 2 months or not at all and so he quit his job and came for 4 months.  That was the longest time we've ever been together, seeing each other every day.  Our relationship got serious fast and we got engaged before he left since we knew we would get married the year later when I was done with my Bachelors degree.  It was actually a very crazy engagement because since getting the visa takes months we decided to legally get married while Ehren was still there and that way we didn't have to wait for the green card once we got married a year later.  So after those 4 months Ehren went home a married man and I stayed behind finishing my school.  That year was probably the longest wait ever until we were together again, just days before our wedding in Slovakia.

Our wedding was somehow very bitter-sweet for me which I didn't expect, I thought I would just feel happiness and excitement.  But having all my family and friends at our wedding kind of hit me that this is the last time I'm with them as one of them, that I'll be leaving everything behind in a couple of weeks.  I know, it was all my choice and I was sure of my choice, knowing God brought Ehren and I together but it still didn't take all the pain away from leaving my home, my family, friends and my country.

And that is how the 2 of us, coming from 2 very different worlds, although both of us coming from strong Christian families and very similar churches (which was a huge blessing to us), got together.  The beginning of our married life didn't stay without struggles, as Ehren had to teach me how to drive (still have an image in my head of driving through the Minneapolis free ways, screaming and Ehren trying to coach me the best he could without losing it), help me find a job, and new friends.  But God has been faithful and with us every step of the way.  Now, it is 11 years later and we have 3 beautiful children.  We still don't have it together and probably never will, but we are living our very ordinary life and feel blessed.

Life is Beautiful

Well, as part of this New Years resolution, I decided to try out this blogging thing and see if I can stick with it.  It is not so much for other people to read about my pathetic life, but merely for me to hold on to those beautiful moments that pass us by day by day.  I want to be able to look back and see the many blessings in my life instead of living this robotic life of a busy mom, so focused on the tasks ahead of me on any given day instead of treasuring and enjoying the beautiful moments and mostly living my life to glorify God.

The movie "Life is Beautiful" captured my heart right away and that is why I decided on the name for this blog.  The movie is about a Jewish family of three who is taken to a concentration camp.  Dad stays with the little boy while his wife is separated from them and is in the women part of the camp.  It is just a heart breaking story and I cry like a baby every time I see it.  The passionate love and positive attitude Guido (the main character) has until the end is what makes the movie.  You can't watch it and not think about how much we have and how easy our life is.

It is too easy for me to slip into a negative mode and see all the wrongs in my life and basically feel sorry for myself but I want this to be focused on the light in the midst of the darkness, the little joys I oversee every day.  I can't say I won't write about some struggles I go through because that is sometimes what brings healing, or what makes me see the other side of the coin.  So here it is, just my ordinary life with my ordinary family living in a small Minnesota town, way up north.  Life is beautiful and I can't wait to see how beautiful heaven will be one day.