bad mom moment

I had one of those "bad mom" moments today.  We've been having a great Thanksgiving weekend in the Cities at Ehren's aunt's family.  We did a little shopping, kids went swimming, sledding, we watched some Christmas movies, laughed, visited with relatives and this afternoon we had some BIG plans. :)  Ehren and I thought we would take our kids to the Holidazzle parade, which they've never been to.  It is pretty much a lights show parade with Christmas and different fairy tale characters.  Then I had an idea to leave early and take the kids to the Macy's santa land which is right by there.  It is just a cute area decorated as life of elfs.  I knew it wouldn't be anything huge but something to go do - well, I'm not so sure it was really worth it.  We get there and all we see is a forever winding line of people.  We're not even sure what we're all waiting for, but we stand in line and I got another glimpse of why we're never going to Disney World. :)  Our kids can't even handle standing in line for 30 minutes.  Kason is rolling on the ground, sitting down and just acting really tired 5 minutes into waiting. :) But we made it to the Santa Land and it was cute to see all the little details in each room of an elf's life.  Afterwards we grabbed a quick bite to eat and even though we still had an hour before the parade started people were starting to save their spots along the road so we made our way there.

By that time Kason started to get really tired and something made him really upset and neither Ehren or I could make him stop whaling.  Finally, I sat down on the curb of the road with him in my lap and tried calming him down but nothing worked.  And that's when my bad mommy moment happened.  As I'm trying to calm the loud crying Kason I see another little police petrol car zooming in the middle of the road, right in front of us and what do I hear myself say?  "Kason, look there is a policeman and he's looking for all the kids that are crying and he's going to take you away if you don't stop."  I know, some things that come out of our mouths!  Actually, I was expecting him to not care at all but it worked like a charm and he calmed right down and was a sweet boy after that, besides being really cold.  But, I actually said it louder than I thought and at least 2-3 different parents heard me.  A lady next to us with 3 boys was sympathetic and said to me:"desperate times call for desperate measures" and that's really how I felt.

We then enjoyed the whole parade and kids loved looking at all the lit up floats and people.  On the way home though, I felt pretty bad about what I said especially because Kason is our little guy who really thinks about stuff that is said and happens and takes it to heart.  So I told him I was sorry I lied and that police men are here to protect us and keep us safe and would never take him away.  He seemed ok with that and agreed with me that that made a lot more sense then police taking crying kids away. :)
 
So, I learned a lesson today and even though you'd probably think I would learn to react more patiently or not to say stuff I didn't think thru, I think my real lesson is that it's ok to mess up but the important thing is to make it right.  To say "sorry, I made a mistake" because little kids especially understand what it's like to do something bad or naughty and they are more than eager to forgive us.  And to be honest, it doesn't come easily to me to say "I messed up here, I should not have said that, please forgive me" so today was a great reminder to me how important it is for our kids because that is how they know they are loved.  And letting them know we are just sinful humans doesn't make them love or respect us any less, it is just the opposite.

I'm also really glad there is certain Someone that loves me just the way I am.  With all the ugly and bad and sinful, He thinks I am perfect.  And the thought that He would leave the riches of the Heavens and the status that belonged to Him to become a nobody on this Earth just for me and us, is unimaginable.  I want to really think about that this Advent season and remember what Christmas means to me and what it should mean to all of us.  

at Santa village