family time

I guess I'm in a writing mood today.  Kids just went to bed a little bit ago and Ehren is gone helping his brother with something.  I wanted to say a few words about what has been on my mind lately.  We live in this awfully over-scheduled society and no wonder we have no time to breathe.  Family Life Today had someone talk about this topic recently and as I listened to them I kept thinking that's exactly what I've been thinking about lately.  When you look at families regularly attending any church and how many of those families actually help in the church and get involved, it is a very sad picture.  Everyone has the same excuse too - we're just too busy.  Too busy doing what?  Running kids around for their sports activities?  Being on the computer or watching tv?  I am so guilty of a lot of things that waste time, number one is this computer.  I have to purposely turn the monitor off for a few hours and that way I give a lot more attention to everyone.  But what bothers me the most is how our kids start at a very young age being so over-scheduled.  Do they really need to be in everything available to them?  Are they going to be better people because of it?  I'm not going to lie, it is very tempting to fall into the trap of giving our children all our money can buy as far as education, sports and extra curricular activities but do they lose on something very important because of that?  Do they miss out on family time, on dealing with their emotional needs, on treasuring their most important relationships?  

I want to be purposeful when it comes to our time as a family.  Maybe it is partly because taking care of all the kids during the day when the evening comes I want us to be us as a family.  I love it when we have several nights in a row during the week when there's nothing going on.  And I understand you can't get that all the time.  You have to run errands some evenings, you have to go to some church meetings and activities, but I think if we're purposeful of our time it can be different.  This year I was very purposeful with one night a week.  Last year I helped with Awana on Wednesday nights which goes through the whole school year.  I helped with 3 and 4 year-olds which is very hard to do in the evenings when they're all a bit tired.  But I think it was extra hard on me because I was home alone with 5 little kids, 2 were babies, 5 days a week and on Wednesday nights I'd have to help with some more little kids.  It was just too much and I felt really stressed most of that year.  So this summer I said no more, with my job the way I am I cannot go to church after my work is done and spend more time with preschoolers.  It was a hard decision because for a long time our church could not find anyone willing to step up to do that, but I thought I'd rather our church not have anything for 3 and 4 yr olds than me not being able to handle my life and family well.  And I'm so glad I stood by my decision on that.  It has only been a few weeks of Awana but having one extra night a week where I can recharge, exercise or get groceries means so much to me.  Ehren and I might make some of those Wednesdays our date time too which is so hard to come by so I'm excited for that.  Sometimes, even if it's hard I think we have to make a decision that looks bad on the outside but is the right thing for your family so it can grow and stay together.  With the divorce rate higher than ever, it is not easy to keep our marriages and families strong but it has to be our priority after God or else nothing else will matter in the end.  I'm trying to be intentional this year about "filling up my tank" so that my family gets a happier mom and a happier wife.  Sometimes that means having my stay home mom friends come and have a play date with all the kids and enjoy fellowship when we can get it, or it means taking time for myself to work out or window shop, taking the time to blog and think out loud, taking time to play board games with our kids instead of watching a movie, going for walks as a family, having dinners together at home on most days, sitting down as a family before bed and just talk and laugh together, and so on.  I hope you can find ways to keep your family going strong.  Because our kids won't remember how many different sports they mastered, or how many kids they beat, but they will remember if their parents were there to listen when they were hurting, if their parents noticed that they really needed them in that one moment.  And I really don't want to miss that moment with our children.